[ She sucks in a quick breath--whether it's at the contact or at the sudden influx of feelings that aren't hers, she's not sure. This is weird! Handholding is something that's been coded as romantic in her head, so even if this is completely not, she sure does feel a way about it.
Some of that bleeds in her own offered feelings, though she's overall far more simple. There's a bewildered sort of resignation (it's another day ending in y), surprise, confusion--and there's a fear that rests with a bone-deep kind of exhaustion that Ritsuka herself is only barely conscious of, a thing that has been years building. It has little to do with Kadoc himself--he's involved, of course he's involved, but it's not him. It's the weight of Solomon's true final vision, of someone who could solve the problem that he inadvertently created, and everything that has followed ever since. She's three Lostbelts down. It's not a weight meant for a single person, but what other choice does she have?
Deep down, though--buried under that, and her confusion, and all everything else... she's happy. She's happy that he's alive--that at least one person she's tried to save, one person in all the literal thousands of casualties she's had to cause so far, survived. She's so happy to see him alive, even if he hates her.
But like the exhaustion nipping at her heels, it's nothing Ritsuka is consciously thinking of. It's just there, all her feelings, and she's too busy trying to process his. Whoa?! This is beyond trippy right now. ]
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[ She sucks in a quick breath--whether it's at the contact or at the sudden influx of feelings that aren't hers, she's not sure. This is weird! Handholding is something that's been coded as romantic in her head, so even if this is completely not, she sure does feel a way about it.
Some of that bleeds in her own offered feelings, though she's overall far more simple. There's a bewildered sort of resignation (it's another day ending in y), surprise, confusion--and there's a fear that rests with a bone-deep kind of exhaustion that Ritsuka herself is only barely conscious of, a thing that has been years building. It has little to do with Kadoc himself--he's involved, of course he's involved, but it's not him. It's the weight of Solomon's true final vision, of someone who could solve the problem that he inadvertently created, and everything that has followed ever since. She's three Lostbelts down. It's not a weight meant for a single person, but what other choice does she have?
Deep down, though--buried under that, and her confusion, and all everything else... she's happy. She's happy that he's alive--that at least one person she's tried to save, one person in all the literal thousands of casualties she's had to cause so far, survived. She's so happy to see him alive, even if he hates her.
But like the exhaustion nipping at her heels, it's nothing Ritsuka is consciously thinking of. It's just there, all her feelings, and she's too busy trying to process his. Whoa?! This is beyond trippy right now. ]