impostorsyndrome: (you are the only one who is ignored)
Kadoc Zemlupus ([personal profile] impostorsyndrome) wrote in [community profile] avalaughs 2021-08-08 05:28 am (UTC)

Ugh. What am I even gonna scream at you about? If something popped into my head and I really thought it'd help, maybe I would, but that's not where we're at now, is it?

[His tone goes a little petulant, childish. Once upon a time, when he'd first woken up, he'd had fantasies about taking his anger and envy out on Fujimaru. Confronting her somewhere alone, dressing her down until she felt as miserable as he did at the time. But those fantasies had always been as childish as his tone is right now—the very height of meaningless, impossible self-indulgence. It never would have happened that way, and not just because Kadoc isn't the kind of person who finds it easy to have a screaming argument. It's because you can't just pass on misery that comes from inside of yourself to someone else and have it leave you.

Back then, he hadn't known that, but he does now.

Still. He indulges just a taste of the childish right now. He can feel it in the little pout of his lip, and the color he knows is in his cheeks, and the hardness of his eyes that feels more affected than anything else. Like a kid trying to give someone the Evil Eye after learning about it for the first time, thinking it's just a matter of glaring as hard as they can.]


. . . You're a mess right now. Yeah, I felt it. I know you felt I'm a mess too, unless you didn't, and I've got surprise Cognitive I just learned about in the worst possible way. But either way, I think you might be worse off than I am. Why bother with my bullshit? Just walk away. Get some damn sleep. You don't owe me this consideration.

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