1. look, i need your help, not your judgment.

2. we'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. u'll be helping me move a body. my body.

3. today is an "outside sex" kind of day.

4. well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore

5. also, add "teaching ppl to sext" to my charity work

6. it's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call u, and then realize u'll just be stuck here with ur poptart...