avalaughs | TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 9

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TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 9

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SUMMARY: New arrivals drop into the lake and have to climb up a cliff to the Rent a Ride, where they are given their device and some headphones and can retrieve their personal materials. There is a small earthquake during this (shaking, some things may fall off of shelves, but no structural damage) that upsets the normal arrival creatures, limiting cliff-falling rescues and sliming the water. They travel to Camelot, which is a multiple day journey, so they stop at the Red Springs along the way and stay at an inn there.

A ⦿ Soaking in Your Arrival

KERPLUNK, SPLASH!

Regardless of what you were in the middle of, you and your familiar have been magically pulled into the world of Avalon just above the Bay's waters. After a brief plunge into the Bay, the rush of water filling your ears and soaking up into every creak and crevice of your body, you may need to cough to clear your airways when you rise above the surface. It's still chilly, but not enough that you can't manage on your own. The Lady of the Lake is swimming around under the water, helping to rescue any wayward travelers who look like they're struggling in the water. This month's helpers are giant pillow jellies, a species of jellyfish that is capable of ballooning itself at the surface to create bouncy pads for characters to hop across to the shore, should they choose or not be able to swim. They come in a variety of bioluminescent colors, but do not seem to be very talkative even to animal magic users. Those who try may find themselves being ignored, even if they hear the jellies talking amongst themselves about this and that.

In the middle of the new arrivals, there is a small earthquake that shakes the island and makes the waters choppy. The jellyfish are startled and release a glow-in-the-dark slime that may dye your characters' hair and skin until they can get a proper bath. The Lady of the Lake seems disquieted by the earthquake, but there isn't much to be done about it where they are now besides make sure that everyone is outside of the water as quickly as possible.

If anyone tries to ask the Lady of the Lake for directions, she will direct you to Archimedes at the Rent-a-Ride. The shores themselves are littered with new arrivals complaining their way up a staircase carved into the walls of the White Cliffs. There is no railing, so be careful, as the earthquake has scared the cliff beast into hiding, meaning for July's arrivals, there is no safety net. They may need some serious help if a fall occurs!

*Reminder: Your character's familiar may or may not be with your character in their initial plunge. If the familiar isn't partial to water, it may meet your character on the beach or sit atop their head while they swim. Or if they are, they might splash about and swim alongside your character. Familiars have different personalities and body specs and we leave those up to the players.

B ⦿ The Caravan to Camelot

Once everyone is wrangled up to the top of the White Cliffs, the handsome owner of the Rent-a-Ride, Archimedes, will distribute smart phones, sunscreen, a pair of sunglasses, and a pair of ear buds and tell them to "Check the Shit Box." The "Shit Box" refers to wardrobe more formally known as the Wardrobe of Finding, a hammerspace-like wardrobe that opens to each person's items and pets when the person touches the handle. It was enchanted by Merlin to prevent people from having to fish their waterlogged possessions and pets out of the water with them. From there, Archimedes directs everyone to settle in groups into modernized carriages pulled by horses and gives them a basic explanation of why and how they've been brought to Avalon: The rest of the universe is frozen in time and your character has been brought here by a familiar that was able to bond with them. They'll have to learn magic to help save their own world from destruction, but first they've got to get them to Camelot. It is here that you have the first opportunity to decide who they will be in their new home. You'll have about an hour to wander around here, meet and greet, and pet the horses before it's time to go.

These carriages use fae technology that combats weight, so your character will be able to get in regardless of whether they're light as a feather or weigh two tons. The carts have air conditioning when it's hot, heating when it's cold, and a mystical shield to protect from bugs. There is also a mini-bar that pops out of the console with nip bottles. Characters can use their smartphones to connect to Camelot's internet service,

avalononline (AOL), to chat with other characters, watch dumb videos, learn about the world, contact Camelot Support (they'll answer any questions they can for you, from how to use a smart phone to where to find quests and resources to learn more about your magic). Be careful if you decide to use your phones while in the caravan-- if you don't use those earbuds and start forcing everyone to listen to your nonsense, Archimedes may make you walk.

C ⦿ The Red Spring

The journey from the White Cliffs to the City of Camelot is a long one, and the first evening you arrive you'll end up spending at the Red Spring, a booming resort town. Because of the volume of new arrivals and vacationers, inn rooms are assigned two-to-a-room. The rooms have two twin beds, a bathroom, a mini-fridge and microwave, and a TV equipped with a couple of entertaining video games and a few free movies.

If you don't want to relax in the room, try taking a dip in the spring for another chance to meet your fellow travelers. The waters have restorative properties that help horses and travelers recover quickly when drunk. It is known to relieve stress, improve energy levels, and mildly accelerate healing. It may be a little chilly when you get out though, so make sure you don't slip rushing back indoors when you get out!

The springs are also home to a large training grounds just outside town limits, where there are teachers who will teach basic magic safety and help you discover what kind of magic you have together with other new arrivals. Try target practice, obstacle courses, meditation circles, and other ways to try to figure out just what you can do... if you didn't already have an accidental discovery on the ride there.

SUMMARY: Camelot throws a carnival to combat the warming up weather featuring "cool" foods and contests, Queen Elphame sent gifts of aquatic mounts to practice in gratitude for the offering and peacemaking with Celliwig, and the clean-up for the carnival goes haywire as cleaning implements magically seek to clean everything.

Thankfully, not every minute of Avalon is adventure and trials and rituals. There are moments of respite, and moments to have fun. This July, for example, locals have decided to invite everyone to what they're calling the "Cool Down Carnival"!

A ⦿ Cool Carnival, Bruh

behave like a penguin

Margaritaville Pair Challenge

giant schooner

(Recipe) Hangover Moveover

B ⦿ Surf New Turf

aquatic mounts

Alpacapies: Cousin to the much more violent water horse fae the Kelpies, Alpacapies have been mistaken for baby loch ness monsters on more than one occasion given their penchant for sitting with just their hump and long neck above the waterline. They can be ridden in the water and tend to bond with people who are polite to them upon greeting. They will assist in combat by spitting water at their enemies or kicking with front legs, but they may shake you off if they need to deep dive to gain speed for an attack. They do not have back legs, only a dolphin-like fin. For some reason, they're really impossible to take photographs of.

Mossatees: You're familiar with the mossatee already. A special breed of manatee that grows flowers and moss on its back like a miniature garden. They blossom in the spring, and their backs can be very comfortable. They're a little clumsy and tend to run into things, both accidentally and on purpose, so it may be a bit of a derpy ride if you and your partner choose a mossatee. They also just had a lot of children, so part of riding with them will mean protecting their young on the journey. They're not good in combat and will prioritize defense.

Deinosuchus: A Cretaceous crocodile that gets up to about 10 meters long. It's huge and carnivorous and very well could eat you if you piss it off. It is fast, but has to take a lot of breaks. It will also terrorize in a fight. The fae recommend bringing it a goat or some other similarly sized meal to get it on your side if you want to go for this one. This pack is the only one left, transported by fairies to Avalon long, long ago, so you'd better not let them down.

C ⦿ Clean Up Chaos

As people head out for the second day of practice with their mounts or recover from a crazy carnival experience, things around town... seem a little off. It seems like someone tried some experimental magic after competing in the Margaritaville challenge feeling particularly benevolent. All around Camelot, cleaning utensils have taken on a life of their own. Brooms are sweeping customers right out of restaurants, sponges are scrubbing up dishes and chasing down patrons for the most public sponge baths of their life, and the local woodland creatures are assisting in picking up and taking away anything that touches the floor that ought not to be there. Some are even hopping up on residents to do their hair!

Whatever the source is, the only solution is to either destroy or scare the cleaning supplies off to the woods before they take over the whole town! A little magic should help, so why not test out the magic you've been working on since arriving in Avalon?

SUMMARY: The earthquake busted some of the Land of Rot wards and zombies are attacking Camelot's farmland. Save the farm, restore the wards, fight a giant worm, and then find a mysterious marsh before getting transported back home just as mysteriously.

The earthquake on arrival day was a little frightening, but ultimately didn't seem to cause too much trouble around New Camelot. That is, until a few days later when the farmlands seem to be under attack.. by the undead!? It seems like the wards surrounding the Lands of Rot were disrupted by the earthquake near Camelot's northeast farmland. '

A ⦿ The Farming Dead

B ⦿ Of Wards and Worms

C ⦿ Wake Me Up Before You're Go-Gone

First zombies, then a giant worm... today's been exhausting! And now you're.. somewhere in the middle of the Land of Rot and you seem to have run into some kind of marsh that you don't remember passing on your way in. The water itself is murky and the only creatures around seem to be bugs, bats, snakes, and frogs. Everything seems sickly, rotting, and is pretty awfully stinky. But none of it is quite as terrifying as when you and whoever you wandered into the Land with stumble upon what appears to be some kind of old hag.

What happens next? Who knows. She screams and both you and whoever you're with pass out and wake up snuggling in an inn room. You were definitely in that marsh though, because your pants are still sopping from trudging through it... Well, enjoy the panic, maybe interrogate your neighbors, and try to find out where in the Land of Rot you were! It sure doesn't seem to be on the map... What a mystery!

MOD NOTES:
• All test drive prompts are open to anyone in the game at any time to create your own logs with, but this post should have top-levels by potential new characters only. Current characters may reply to any threads, but should not top-level comment on this post.
• If your application is accepted, you may accept TDM threads as game canon as long as both players consent. Characters may begin threading as soon as their journal is accepted to the communities.
•If nothing here tickles your fancy, try one of this month's Quests for your TDM prompt.
• The first "Arrival" prompts are present on every TDM, but contain seasonal tweaks for flavor. All other prompts will change monthly.
• Questions about this TDM's content? Comment here! If you have a question about the game at-large, please head over to the FAQ.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Are you mockin' me?

[ his glare turns icy, and his grip tightens on the drink in his hand, which is a lot better than the alternative considering what he'd recovered from the shit box was his pair of swords.

it's a good thing that wasn't the last thing kitten had to say. by the time izō finishes off the last of his drink, he seems to have calmed down again, at least for the moment. it helps that the topic at hand happens to be one of the things he's fond of. ]

Anyway, ain't much of an achievement if ya did. I never win, but I keep tryin' anyway.

[ he never claimed to be smart. ]

Of course not.

[Of course they are, but at least it seems like he’s easily distracted.

They blink, before laughing. It’s a high, bright sound, but it doesn’t last for too long. They at least have the decency to cut themself off.]

Well, if that’s the case, I really hope you make some money first before throwing yourself out there! Good on you to keep trying, though.

[It’s incredibly stupid, actually.]

What’s your method of choice? Cards? Dice? Something else?

Don't matter.

[ at least izō answers the question. in the next instant, he's standing and drawing the shorter of his two swords. it's a subtle movement, just like you'd want if you didn't want it to be obvious you're drawing a weapon right away and if kitten doesn't move he'll point it right at their throat. usually gets his point across. ]

Listen here ya little shit. I NEVER let anyone laugh at me. Yer lucky I don't feel like walkin' to wherever the fuck we're goin' or you'd be breathin' out of yer neck. I'm called Hitokiri, ya know? Man-Slayer. Don't push yer luck.

[If Kitten were a more sane, more rational person, they would probably be scared by someone pulling a sword at them. This isn’t the first time it’s happened, though - some people prefer a more analogue style of fighting - and they look up with a bright, wide smile.

They lean forward to feel the tip of the blade press into their neck.]

Now, don’t threaten me with a good time unless you intend to follow through.

[Just. Completely ignoring everything else. They’re not laughing, at… least…]

[ no wonder this kid's annoying, they're entirely too alike. izō wasn't always like this, though; time and circumstances made him this way. he'd at least had a few years where he might've said he was happy. it's not a great feeling. ]

Aren't ya a little young to be dead inside?

[ deciding he's no longer in the mood, izō retracts the blade and replaces it in its scabbard, flipping his coat back over the pair of swords before he sits back down and reaches for another drink. ]

Ya oughta slow down. It only gets worse.

Am I?

[They're not really offended at being called young - being surrounded by people and beings that live for hundreds and thousands of years means being called "kid" is kind of a given. And besides, they're not even 30 yet. That's still plenty young.]

And what makes you think I'm not enjoying this? When you're dead inside, you can't feel shit like joy or excitement any more, right? Or are you saying you only go for violence because you don't think it's thrilling?

[This is a normal line of questioning, surely.]

It means ya don't give a shit if ya don't wake up tomorrow. I already told ya what I am; it ain't that complicated.

[ he's decided he's not drunk enough for this yet, so he's wasting no time in remedying that. you'd think people would be grateful for those rare times he decides not to kill them instead of continuing to be aggravating after the fact. ]

I bet yer enjoyin' yourself. People like you always do.

You can kill people without enjoying it, y’know. I think a lot of people see it a more of a necessary expense than something fun, and I’m not sure where man-slaying falls.

[They lean back, watching him. He’s an interesting fellow - and they wonder if he’ll actually get drunk off the minibar. How much stuff is actually in there? Does it get replenished by magic?

These are important questions.]

But if I don’t wake up tomorrow, what does it matter? I’ve lived every day up to then, and who cares if my life is long or short if I went out with a bang?

[ he has no idea if he can get drunk on what's available, but that's not gonna stop him from trying. ]

No kidding. That's why they got people like me to do what needs doin' instead. Cuttin' people down 'cause they ain't as good is plenty fun. People pay plenty for it too, the job don't come cheap. I ain't sayin' it don't have its perks.

[ he doesn't exactly understand the need for their questions. it's not his job to rationalise any of it. that next question, though, makes him laugh and unlike kitten's, it's not a particularly pleasant sound. under the present circumstances, it sounds like a ridiculous claim to make. ]

Bleedin' out on the floor in a place like this ain't much of a "bang". Not like anyone's even gonna remember ya, not like I got a name or nothin'.

[ not that he's trying to fish for an introduction or anything, just stating the facts. he'd be perfectly content going along referring to kitten as that little shit he met on the way over. ]

[Good luck…]

It’s got more perks than downsides, I think.

[They hold up a finger.]

And on the contrary, I think it’s quite the bang! It’s much better than dying of natural causes, and who else could say they got killed their very first day? Assuming there’s any afterlife for me to be kicking around in.

[They’re not going to bother asking if he’ll remember them - based on how he acts and talks they’re sure they’d be another statistic, but that in and of itself is exciting. They want to see what it’s like, to be cut down by a professional… They also wouldn’t mind feeling a pain that lingers, even if it means they’ll end up dead.]

Yeah? Doin' well for yerself then? What're ya gonna do when that shit catches up with ya?

[ he's well-acquainted with the trajectory of that life even if it's behind him now. the consequences for unforeseen fuck ups have been a bit different since becoming a servant. ]

S'pose if that's yer standard, then sure. That's a bang. [ seriously, what's up with this kid? ~~nevermind that his assumption of their age gap continues to be way off.~~ ] Ya know the point is usually to try not dyin', right?

[ you know, maybe they didn't get the memo. ]

I’m doing alright - and I’ll deal with things catching up to me when it happens.

[It’ll be fine. And if it’s not, well. So it goes.]

A lot of people have tried to kill me and haven’t succeeded, so if anyone manages it I’ll be impressed for as long as it takes for me to bleed out. So it’s exciting to think that might happen here!

[That’s one word for it, sure.]

[ some people might call this perspective. it's not so bad, things could be way worse. things could be like this. not much of a win, is it? ]

Seriously. What the fuck? Someone fed ya a whole line a bullshit and ya really just ate it up, didn't ya?

[ how else do you get like this? he's not potentially projecting at all or anything. ]

Bettin' you ain't gonna be much use to this world savin' business neither, but I bet yer know-it-all ass thinks ya got it all figured out.

What, are you asking for my tragic backstory to make sense of everything?

[Ahaha...]

I'm a half-human who can't be killed by human weaponry who kills people for money. That's all there is to it, really.

[Not that they think he'll believe them. It's the truth, though!]

And I'm sure there's more reliable people that got dragged along here, too, so I don't see why I should bother with this world-saving thing right now.

Figures it's some bullshit.

[ sure, he has all the weird knowledge he picked up over time but as far as he's concerned, he's still just some country asshole who happens to be very good with a sword. he usually leaves the big brain stuff to those better qualified. ]

Not much of a challenge, though, if ya can't get killed, is it? Don't even have to be good, jus' persistent.

[ he looks down on everyone's skills, and that sounds like cheating. ]

Heh, in which case... y'might wanna work on that. Pretty sure yer capable of dyin' here same as anyone.

It always is, isn't it? Though it's not really nice to assume what people are capable of.

[They've put a lot of effort into being good at killing!! You take that back, sir.]

But that's why it's exciting to be here. For the first time, I'm actually in real danger.

[That should probably be terrifying, actually, but they're thrilled with the idea of there actually being consequences for once. They'll have to be more careful, have to adjust what they do, and they can't deny that they're eager to see how things go.]

Nah. 'Cause where I come from shit was real simple. [ he's not including what happened after he died because it really is a whole other life. ] No fancy fuckin' magic powers. No weird alien shit. Just a job no one could do better than me. Divine punishment.

[ bet you didn't expect someone like him to be an enforcer of divine judgement, did you? not that he has a holy sword or anything, but that's what they said he and the three other masters of his trade at the time were meting out. he's clearly proud of himself. ]

Ya just oughta find a new way t'get yer kicks. I get wantin' to challenge yer skills—... fuck, you find the coin I'll cut ya down myself if yer that curious. [ because then it'd be a proper job. ] Bet yer real disappointed and that ain't no reflection on me, just how it is. No refunds if ya come back either.

[He does seem pretty proud…

They look at him, brows furrowed, and then claps their hands together.]

If I give you like fifty bucks, would you only try to kill me a little? Like a probably non-fatal stabbing? Because that sounds fun.

Edited 2021-07-15 00:19 (UTC)

Only kill ya "a little"?

[ he's gonna have to do a lot more drinking if he wants to get properly drunk with his kind of tolerance, but he's probably sucked down enough little bottles of vodka to have achieved an acceptable buzz for the moment. that makes it a lot easier to laugh at how absurd that sounds. life's little surprises keep things interesting. ]

If that's what it's worth to ya, sure, whatever. I can make ya feel like the rest of us mere mortals.

Yeah, like, just a friendly stab in the shoulder or something.

[What is an injury if not being killed only a little?]

Do you take IOUs?

Didja work for free where ya came from?

[ it's funny how quickly his expression shifts back to thinking maybe he should've just gone through with it earlier. can you blame him? (yes.) he'd probably (foolishly) already spent the idea of that money in his mind. ]

Bound t'happen sooner or later anyway, if ya keep jerkin' people around.

What, you can't take me at my word?

[How disappointing...

They shrug, though, looking out the window.]

Is pro-bono assassination just murder? Because if so, then, like, yeah, I've worked for free before.

Yer word? Who are you? Yer word means shit.

[ nothing personal; izō doesn't trust anyone.

maybe he's just tired of sitting here and having to endure kitten's glib approach to everything, which on its own might be tolerable, but he hates being questioned in that way. he hates having to wonder if he's just been the butt of a joke the whole time since he didn't finish what he'd threatened to do earlier or if it's just a test. maybe they just want to see what lines he's willing to cross, to see if he's all bark and no bite. wouldn't do to keep them in suspense any longer, now would it?

again he draws quickly as he stands, but unlike the last time, he has no intention of staying his hand at the last moment. the shoulder is not an ideal place for a stab wound — given the number of nerves and muscles and whatever else happen to be in the area — but it's surely preferable to a blind shot elsewhere. he's done this before. he knows it's painful; it's sort of the point. that's where he'll aim, although the precision of the strike will depend on whether or not kitten tries to avoid it when it comes. ]

Yeah, it is. Don't make you any better for doin' it either, jus' makes you an idiot.

Fair enough.

[They don't so much as flinch when he draws his sword again - they asked for this, after all, and they're not about to move and get themself fucked up even worse than they want to be.

They'd like to still be able to use their arm, after all of this.

It hurts like a bitch, but that's what they wanted. They manage to bite back their laugh at the last second, because they don't want to piss off their new friend again.]

Ah... I guess I'm pretty stupid. Thanks, though.

[They hope this pain lasts. Does that make them fucked up? Probably, but they're so tired of everything they do and everything that happens to them meaning nothing. Maybe this would will scar! That would be fun. Their very first scar, given to them in perhaps the most idiotic way possible. It'll make for a fun story, should anyone catch them with their shirt off.]

[ izō makes the sort of face someone might make if they really can't decide whether or not they like the taste of something. ]

Havin' somebody thank me—... [ he shakes his head a little. truly, a day of firsts. ] ... while I still got the blade in 'em, no less? It's a little fuckin' weird, I gotta say.

[ he remedies that in the next few seconds, at least, pulling the blade out neatly to wipe the blade clean on his sleeve before he returns it to its sheath. it's not his stab wound and therefore not his problem. there's napkins or something... probably. ]

Can't even say I'd stick ya if ya laughed at me again, 'cause you'd probably just be happy about that, wouldn't you?

[ if you can't intimidate people under threat of pain then what the hell does that leave you? ]

Whatever. Just don't ever do shit for free if you can get paid for it. Woulda thought that'd be universal but maybe you never were poor neither.

TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 9

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