Kadoc Zemlupus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
impostorsyndrome) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
avalaughs2021-08-05 08:04 pm
impostorsyndrome) wrote in avalaughs2021-08-05 08:04 pm
who dares question me
QUESTION FOR A QUESTION MEME
We all like hearing about each other's characters! We all like talking about our own characters! With this groundbreaking new meme, now you can finally do both, for the very first time in DWRP history!
The Guidelines:
Now get to askin'!
The Guidelines:
- Post a toplevel listing the characters you play! If you have any boundaries you want to set re: questions you might receive (e.g. "No NSFW questions for this character"), do that here too.
- Tag other people asking them questions about their characters. What kinds of questions? Up to you! Canon questions, headcanon questions, meta questions, some random thing you've wondered since that thread you had two months ago, it's all fair game.
- Need ideas? I was passed this excellent gallery of various questions memes, so feel free to crib from these or just use them as inspiration.
- Answer the questions you receive, and, once you've done that, hit the person back with a question of your own about their character(s) too!
- You can end it there, or continue to go back and forth asking questions until you're out.
Now get to askin'!
no subject
Now I really want to see it though, SOB
Kadoc vs. home is interesting because like, I deliberately took him from an extremely uncertain canonpoint in terms of what his status is back home, from his perspective. The Cliff Notes is that Lostbelt 1 ends, Kadoc loses but his life is spared by the protagonist group and he's taken into custody, he agrees to give them information because he can't escape the thing he's being held in and he's determined to make it out of this alive, and then before anything else can happen someone swoops in, stabs him right there in front of everyone, fakes his death, drags his "body" back to his original team, and basically tells Kadoc (when he wakes up from the fake magical death spell) that he's being kept alive because he is carrying in his body a Magical Macguffin that his team can't afford to lose, but for no other reason. Even before being told this explicitly by the person who stabbed him (who should not be trusted, lol) Kadoc was pretty convinced that he was just going to be killed by his team anyway for having lost his chapter and being "worthless" now.
NOW LIKE, this isn't true, he was not going to be instantly executed anyway, but Kadoc is very paranoid about people wanting him dead for whatever reason, and it's going to be very hard to convince him that Team A is not just keeping him around to steal his Macguffin and then murder him, or just murder him before anyone else can use it. He's pretty convinced! So at his current canonpoint, Kadoc really does not know how long he has left to live if he goes home right back to the moment he came from. Even if I canon update him some, he's still going to be in that mindset, if not quite as powerfully as he is literally in the moment after getting stabbed, lol.
SO ALL OF THAT SAID . . . being in Avalon is definitely a reprieve from having to deal with everything back home. tbh in a lot of ways even if none of FGO had happened at all, and Kadoc was just living a normal (mage) life back in his own world, Avalon would be better in a lot of ways than where he came from—Young Kadoc would actually be SUPER into the idea of Avalon because he'd be able to feel like he was doing a real thing to help save the universe oh wow! He can get acclaim and recognition and make a name for himself, and no one cares that his family isn't established here (because no one's is, among the offworlders) or that his magic is weaker than everyone else's (because the difference between Kadoc's single-type weakness in Avalon vs. people with two magic types is MUCH less than the difference between himself back home and e.g. Kirschtaria Wodime, the amazing god-like prodigy who is the leader of his team and comes from an ancient bloodline).
Current Kadoc is way too jaded and bitter to look at what's happening here in those terms and get excited about it. But he is still very aware that some of those things are still benefits to him in this world: everyone's been nerfed, and no one cares who he or anyone else here is. He tries not to be too happy about that, because it feels petty and cheap, but he is, lol. His position here is unarguably better than back in his world, without even taking into account the fact that by the way his world is actually ended and almost all of the Earth has been bleached white and stripped of life and human society is a thing of the past. You know. There is that too.
Despite all of that, Kadoc has actually not yet ever considered just not going home. He will have to think about it someday, but right now the possibility doesn't even exist in his head. Rather, he thinks that if he doesn't go home, it'll be because Avalon doesn't stop the Calamity and nobody gets to go home. He thinks that's very possible, maybe even the most likely outcome of all this. But he hasn't yet considered the idea that he might get a choice someday, and what choice he would make if he did. Deep down he's pretty convinced that the only place he really belongs is back there, facing up to whatever fate has in store for him and observing the outcome of the battle going on for the world.
WHEW THAT WAS LONG.
I want to know what Rinea is thinking about in their Mirror thread where she's considering what Kadoc reminds her of! TELL ME HER THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
no subject
for your question, with some vague FE SOV spoilers: Rinea is in the middle of comparing the similarities between Kadoc and her betrothed, Prince Berkut! They're super different on the face-- Berkut is extremely noisy about his pride, and Kadoc obviously not so much LOL. But they have the same "I was supposed to be the protagonist!!" storyline. Underneath Berkut's veneer of confidence is actually a very fragile boy who was told he was Big Special and he wants so, so badly to be acknowledged for his hard work towards that end; when that doesn't happen, he goes apeshit.
More than just the similarity though Rinea is being struck by the different way Kadoc and Berkut have gone about dealing with their issue. Kadoc's reaction to his own insecurity is very inwardly focused: he's self-aware to an unhealthy degree, but it also means he's considerate. And Berkut's reaction is... the opposite hjfdkfsd. After rejecting her help and thinking she had a hand in undermining him Berkut did Something Really Terrible to rinea right as Avalon nabbed her, and she has spent her entire stay feeling guilty about it. But now that she's seen Kadoc work so hard to fight his own demons, and is just dunking on himself for having vulnerabilities instead of blowing the hell up? SHE FEELS SOME TYPE OF WAY!!!
Putting aside her opinion on Berkut tho, the contrast between them is also making her nearly sick with sympathy for Kadoc. :'( He's so good, but she can't really articulate why or how in a way that will convey that to him, and it's breaking her heart. And he's worried about her instead of himself!!! Stop that!! Waahhh!!!
no subject