who dares question me

[impostorsyndrome]

QUESTION FOR A QUESTION MEME

We all like hearing about each other's characters! We all like talking about our own characters! With this groundbreaking new meme, now you can finally do both, for the very first time in DWRP history!

The Guidelines:

• Post a toplevel listing the characters you play! If you have any boundaries you want to set re: questions you might receive (e.g. "No NSFW questions for this character"), do that here too.
  
• Tag other people asking them questions about their characters. What kinds of questions? Up to you! Canon questions, headcanon questions, meta questions, some random thing you've wondered since that thread you had two months ago, it's all fair game.
  
• Need ideas? I was passed this excellent gallery of various questions memes, so feel free to crib from these or just use them as inspiration.
  
• Answer the questions you receive, and, once you've done that, hit the person back with a question of your own about their character(s) too!
  
• You can end it there, or continue to go back and forth asking questions until you're out.
  

Now get to askin'!

Comments

[impostorsyndrome]

Q U E S T I O N S let's split these out:

1. What are some roleplay goals you have in mind for Kadoc? Knowing he had a lot he has to decompress & unpack on his own, do you have plans for this? An interest of directing his issues into something stronger? Do you think sometime in Avalon he will turn out a different sort of character or succumb to his anxieties/deep thoughts?

I think these can all kind of be covered at once though! Generally speaking I'm the kind of player who doesn't play with firm goals in mind, but is for the most part invested in a positive character arc for my characters over time with a heavy CR focus. So basically you could say I want him to work out some of his issues with the help of the setting and his CR, lol. I think a lot of Kadoc's issues require some dissociating himself from his entire canon life and situation, and a game like this is an excellent opportunity for that. He has a lot to unpack that is just inherent to having grown up in the toxic Mage Society of Fate/, and I think Kadoc as a character is in a difficult position where he both has an outsider's understanding of how fucked up mages are and also an insider's inability to divorce himself from that culture. He both hates mage society and desperately wants a place in it. And I think his problems can never really fully be addressed without completely removing him from that context for at least a time, and lo and behold! Here in Avalon it's not a thing at all, and he can just be a guy like any other guy who's doing the same thing as everyone else here without baggage attached. Except his baggage from home lol. gotta unload that

All of that is to say that mostly I'm playing it by ear and not manipulating events, partially because I don't think I need to, but my hope is for being removed from his canon situation and meeting new people and getting some shit worked out with canonmates will help him progress on his own issues in a positive direction! I don't think he will ever change who he is at the core, but we do also know he's changed a lot as a person already in canon, and he's young and in the middle of a lot of shit and has a lot of potential to change his direction and mindset even more without altering who he really is deep down. I do think him taking a permanent darker turn would be extremely unlikely in a game like this and from his canonpoint; I think it could be done as an IC (and fun) story, but if I had it as a goal I'd have set things up differently for him from the beginning.

2. How does he feel about gawains complexities? And being... makes hand motions. how he is toward Kadoc? How does he feel about gareth as a whole?

HE IS STILL FIGURING GAWAIN OUT . . . lord. Kadoc is pretty good at reading people in some ways but he's pretty blind in others, and a lot of his blindness comes from him assuming the worst of himself and projecting that onto other people in spite of the character traits he should actually be picking up on. This is definitely an issue with Gawain, because Kadoc's brain doesn't quite know what to do with someone who both completely defies his tendency to assume everyone thinks the worst of him (like Gawain BUSTING OUT IN RAGE THAT KADOC IS A STRONG PERSON lol) and yet also in turns plays into it (not trusting Kadoc not to suck Gareth into a black hole of Issues and dressing him down hardcore over it in public). Kadoc is used to hot-and-cold from Beryl, but he is used to Beryl and somewhat understands him and it's a very different flavor from how earnest Gawain is about everything he says, whether it's positive or negative. It is just really hard to project onto Gawain, which makes him hard for Kadoc to wrap his head around lol. He is working on how to handle complexity that doesn't have an element of subterfuge to it. You mean people don't have layers just so they can hide the one they're later going to stab you with?!

RE: GARETH: it is complicated lol. He likes her, but he isn't any further along the path of figuring out exactly how he'd qualify it, and even if he did wake up tomorrow and decide it was romantic that wouldn't be nearly enough for him to act upon. He has a lot of shit to work out and he knows she does too—like, he knows this even more now after his conversation with Gawain lol. He is definitely not going to leap into a relationship with her now when he's not remotely convinced he's not just going to do exactly what Gawain fears and drag her into being an accessory to prop up his own mental health. Can he even support someone who has all the baggage she does? He doesn't know!

In that way, their being roommates is a good way to test out just platonically whether each of them can even fucking handle each other at their worst, but more needs to actually happen to build Kadoc's confidence in that in both directions; at the moment it's not being tested. They're just having a good time, and he's not sure yet how he feels about that. It's very unreal lol. It's a big positive in his life, but he has not yet worked through the reality of it or sorted through where he wants it to go, if anywhere. And god knows he has no idea where Gareth wants it to go, and currently isn't even certain if she's decided she was never attracted to him after the near-kiss incident or what. They haven't discussed it yet! How do you even bring that up! Shit's hard!

But it is really nice having a steady friendly domestic presence, and it's nice having support too, even if right now he's very afraid to lean too hard on any support she could give. Gareth! Deserves! Better!

LOOKS AT THIS TEXT . . . brb I'll come back for Anastasia and return question. mops brow