the unsolicited advice meme

[currysseur]

1. Post your character!
2. Other characters come tell them what they think they are doing wrong with their lives.
3. And, in return, go do the same to them. Turnabout is fair play, right?

Comments

[inemeraldfaith]

Oh? And what might that be with, hmm?

[IT'S TOO LATE. YOU WILL TAKE IT AND LIKE IT.]

[theleadingman]

I've taken up gardening.

[That's what we'll call it.]

[inemeraldfaith]

Gardening?

[...She's going to laugh really, really hard. And probably cry because of it.]

What are you growing?

[a boner]

[theleadingman]

[Oh, you just do that, Aerith, you have your laugh.]

Have to wait and see. I'm not the expert, after all.

[inemeraldfaith]

I hope you have everything you need. Growing anything is no easy task, but I'm sure if anyone can do it, you can. If you need help, you know I'm willing, right?

[theleadingman]

Oh, I fully intend to ask for your assistence. Have to make sure it's thoroughly tended to.

[HE CAN PLAY THIS GAME ALL DAY, AERITH]

[inemeraldfaith]

[What... WHAT IS HE ACTUALLY SAYING HERE.
Aerith requires a Balthier translation immediately.]

You were thinking of me already? I'm flattered. That comes with the territory. Run a flower shop, immediately become the one best suited for growing plants. With you and me working on it together, there's nothing we can't do.

[THEY'RE GONNA GROW THE BEST DAMN PLANT, OKAY.]

[theleadingman]

[It's better if she has to think about it for awhile, honestly.]

Yes, well, it helps that you're entirely to blame for my interest in the subject at all. Now, there may be some things we can't do, but that's just down to biology. I trust you and your green thumb will handle all the rest with aplomb.

[inemeraldfaith]

[...She's to blame? Oh.
Yes. She supposes she is, at that. But Aerith is still interpreting most of this quite literally.]

Wait—
What are the things we can't do?

[theleadingman]

If you don't know, I can't tell you.

[That would just be crass.]

You needn't worry about it, anyway.

[inemeraldfaith]

How is that fair?
If I don't know, you're just not going to say anything?

We're going to have words, I hope you know!!

[Cue fist shaking here.]

[theleadingman]

Just give it a bit of thought. You're a clever girl, you'll think of something.

[This is revenge of some sort, really. He has to have earned it by now.]

[inemeraldfaith]

Well.
I'll try, but I'm still not sure what you were getting at. What is there that we can't do when it comes to gardening?

[...He's probably not talking about gardening, honestly, but she has yet to actually put that together.]

[theleadingman]

[He's definitely not talking about gardening.]

Nothing I care to discuss in polite company, as it happens.

[inemeraldfaith]

[Aerith is squinting so hard. Yeah, she's definitely going to have to take this back to examine more closely.

And he only uses that kind of wording when he's—]

Oh.

[She doesn't get it fully, but she's starting to!]

[theleadingman]

[There we go.]

I knew you'd get there. See, told you you were clever.

[this is going to backfire on him so spectacularly]

[inemeraldfaith]

[Aerith is rapidly backtracking through their conversation, trying to figure out what exactly he was getting at when he said there were things they can't do.

If 'gardening' is a code word for—
Then he means that they can't...?

Can't what? This is driving her up the wall.]

I get like... a part of it? I'm still trying to figure out the rest. You'll have to explain it to me, I think.

[There's a pause.]

Not here.

[Obviously not here. Not in polite company.
...Does that mean she's impolite company?]

[theleadingman]

[He swiftly recognizes the feeling welling up within him now as regret.

Ah, right. Yes. Of course.]

No, certainly not here.

[Well—]

Do I have to explain? You didn't know before, you can certainly go on not knowing now.

[No she cannot. HE KNOWS THAT.]

[inemeraldfaith]

I'd like it if you did?

[So no, he doesn't have to, but if he doesn't, she'll just be asking until he gives in. Maybe that means he really doesn't have much of a choice.]

Before, I didn't know about it. Now I do, so I'm curious! Don't worry, I can ask you very sweetly about it.

[theleadingman]

[That means he does have to.]

Oh, I'm certain you will— many, many times.

[She's a persistent sort. He probably should have seen this coming...]

[inemeraldfaith]

Then just agree that you'll tell me already.
I'll bribe you with something from the Magnolia Café.

[Sweets make everything better.]

[theleadingman]

[That does sound tempting.]

I will. In private.

[He's resigned.]

I haven't lived this long in my occupation by not learning to choose my battles.

[inemeraldfaith]

This isn't a battle, though.

[She waits.]

...Is it?

[theleadingman]

[How does one survive being so literal.]

Well. Somewhat.

[No, he just dug this hole for himself. He should know better than to toss any throwaway comment in her direction. They're never so fleeting as he might like.]

Can I bargain for two bakery items? I will need the strength.

[inemeraldfaith]

Of course.

[...He makes it sound so serious. What has she gotten herself into? Does she even want the answer now?

That's a stupid question. Of course she does.]

What do you want? I'll pick them up after I leave the shop for the day.