test drive meme ⚔️️ 22

[avalonmods]

	QUICK NAV: ⚔️️ Premise ⚔️️ Rules ⚔️️ FAQ ⚔️️ Taken ⚔️️ Reserves ⚔️️ Apply ⚔️️ Locations ⚔️️ Bestiary
⚔️️ View Top-Levels Only ⚔️ IMPORTANT NOTE: The sun and moon have returned to normal, but the Calamity is still visible in the sky.
DATES: 1st half of the month Prompt Summaries: A. Soaring in Your Arrival: Dolphins kidnap new arrivals. Do your best to escape or help others do so, and maybe tap into your magic instinctively in the process. B. MagiCamp: The Red Springs is preparing for a special training, so it's unavailable. Instead, the caravan is lead toward a special once-every-decade event: the eruption of the chocolate geyser. C. Joust the Tip: Learn to fight hand-to-hand, joust, and more-- a great way to self-defend and learn to use your magic combatively!  D. Ubercooked: Soup kitchens are popping up around town, but the enchantment for these pop-ups is unstable, making for a wild cooking experience. E. Avalon is Flat: Pirates force otherworlders to go treasure hunting for them at the edge of Avalon, which is essentially water falling off into space. Cool-ass views, scary ass death awaiting anyone who falls. F. The Heart of the Sea-- Er, Lake: The ships seem to have hearts, and can be reasoned with to sail passengers back to Camelot. You have to handle the pirates, though. Messages in a bottle appear from an old ally to let you know they'll be ready to help you get to Dinas Emrys mid-month.

A ⦿ Soaring in Your Arrival EEEEEEEE! Regardless of what you were in the middle of, you and your familiar have been magically pulled into the world of Avalon just above the Bay's chilly waters. But there is no plunge today. There are loud screeches and vibrant, neon flashes of color that may have you wondering "What in the Lisa Frank?" as multicolored dolphins expertly snatch new arrivals out of the air above their plunge and kidnap them. It seems this was not an expected development, as the Lady of the Lake is below, surrounded by a bunch of mossatee families (their lovely babies following them about and rolling around on the beach) and shouting after the new arrivals and dolphins alike. The dolphins seem to have decided that the new arrivals are playthings and are swimming and jumping off in all directions to take them off who knows where! Work together to escape the dolphins and swim
to shore-- as it turns out, adrenaline and panic are a great way to discover what kind of magic you have, so you may find the best way to escape your new captors is to instinctively find the magic within.

---

B ⦿ MagiCamp

Once everyone is finally wrangled up to the top of the White Cliffs, the handsome owner of the Rent-a-Ride, Archimedes, will distribute smart phones and a pair of ear buds and tell them to "Check the Shit Box." The "Shit Box" refers to wardrobe more formally known as the Wardrobe of Finding, a hammerspace-like wardrobe that opens to each person's items and pets when the person touches the handle. From there, Archimedes tells everyone that their normal destination is currently closed to prepare for a special training fair that everyone will be invited to. They should see far more of the

otherworlders who have been here for long to gain wisdom and direction from. In the meantime, it's late, so they're going to head south of the Red Springs into the selkies' land. Each person is loaded up onto the back of a horse, not the regular carriages, and gives them their basic explanation of why and how they've been brought to Avalon: The rest of the universe is frozen in time and your character has been brought here by a familiar that was able to bond with them. They'll have to learn magic to help save their own world from destruction, but first they've got to get them to Camelot. The horses seem to know where they're going, so characters can use their smartphones to connect to Camelot's internet service, avalononline (AOL), to chat with other characters, watch dumb videos, learn about the world, contact Camelot Support (they'll answer any questions they can for you, from how to use a smart phone to where to find quests and resources to learn more about your magic). It's not long before everyone arrives at a camping site set up within viewing distance of a geyser that seems to be going off. But there is something a little different about this geyser, and the smell of the air about the entire site. It smells distinctively of chocolate, and when the geyser bursts into the air, it's clear why: the geyser is an opening to a special chocolate aquifer that runs underground in Avalon. Some say it's a magical shortcut to the sweets fairy kingdom.. but that's frozen in time as well, so visitors will not be permitted. You can still enjoy the best chocolate you've ever tasted and get a good night's rest in two-person tents-- each assigned randomly, so if you want to room with someone specific, you may need to argue it out. Especially since some of the tents have mistakenly been given two-person sleeping bags instead of two single-person sleeping bags... oops! The campsite is also very popular right now, as the news is reporting the chocolate geyser as a once-in-a-decade sight to see, brought early by the mix up with the summer solstice issues. Otherworlders both current and new are encouraged to head to the campsite to see this amazing chocolate geyser! Oh-- but make sure you watch out for the selkies. Selkies are very attractive fae who are capable of shapeshifting between human and seal form by removing their skins. Male selkies are known to be extremely handsome and have almost incubus-like seductive abilities toward women and gay men, especially those who are already in relationships. It is much rarer to interact with female selkies nowadays, given the protectiveness of their tribes after a long history of forced marriage by human men. They're very protective of their coats, so if they see you eying them, they may try to drown you... but if not, you probably only have to worry about their seductive nature.

---

C ⦿ Joust the Tip

Some Camelot natives have taken it upon themselves to offer basic training for swordplay and archery, noticing that there appear to be many people who don’t know how to fight or defend themselves! The flyers for instruction go up around a week before, posted in windows and underneath doors (sometimes more than once, whoops), and alongside the offers for weapons training from some natives is an additional opportunity - jousting. ‘A great way to practice aiming on horseback!’ is the tagline, though some might disagree with how true that is. There is some transport being offered to the Red Springs, where the training is taking place, but the carriages from Camelot are only once every few

hours and with limited space so if there are no more seats you’ll have to wait… or hang on the back of the carriage for dear life the whole way there. Otherwise, it’s a case of making your own way by whatever means you’re able to. At the Red Springs themselves a good chunk of the available training grounds have been taken up with organized arenas for archery, swordplay, and the entire upper end of the grounds is barriered off to make room for the jousting. There are a few horses available if you didn’t come with your own, and once the newcomers at the bay have been dealt with Archimedes himself makes an appearance to ensure that his charges are being treated well in their temporary assignment. When it comes to archery and swordplay, the setup and rules are simple. Anyone interested can take up a beginner’s bow or a sword and take instruction from one of the native tutors. They don’t seem to mind stepping aside for experienced off-worlders if they have the skills to teach others, but they do sometimes meddle if it looks like those people are doing it wrong. The jousting is a more thorough affair. To be eligible for it you must first know how to ride a horse, and be able to support the lance and shield without help. Anyone who fulfills both of those conditions is kitted out with protective equipment and set against an opponent! Since it’s beginners only, the instructors aren’t making things too complicated and the rules are simple - knock the other person off their horse, and you win. They’re trusting that no one is going to do something silly like try to stab somebody, or use kinetic magic to lift the lances… because why would anyone do that? Those who show good progress or proficiency in either of the three offered disciplines will be given the opportunity to learn a method to apply their magic to their weapons, regardless of what that magic type is! Generous, right?

 

---

 

D ⦿ Ubercooked
	Due to the quests lately requiring large amounts of supplies, the Camelot kitchens have put out a call for some extra help prepping easy to store, and easy to cook food for long journeys and have opened pop-up kitchens that anyone can volunteer to help out in. Just be careful! The enchantment that is supporting these kitchens was put together in a rush and is somewhat unstable, so at least two people are needed in each location
at all times to collect ingredients, trade across moving countertops, and to chop and cook the occasionally-enchanted ingredients at a rapid pace. In such a hectic environment, people are going to need eyes in the backs of their heads to make sure that what they’re chopping and preparing doesn’t go to the wrong place (or doesn’t just end up on the floor), and watch out for your fingers on those shifting countertops if you’re using sharp knives! All of the ingredients are headed for a variety of soups which will be put into enchanted cans (bigger on the inside!) far heavier than they look before they are transported to the coast and loaded onto some waiting ships. Anyone curious enough to ask where these ships might be going will get a shrug from those loading them up, but persistence is key, and questioning the right people will bring out the fact that there is an expedition heading out to Dinas Emrys, to locate the legendary item known as the Lapis Exilis.

---

 

PRELUDE: Sugar and Tea and Rum There has been a lead on Lapis Exilis, a precious stone considered to be in the heart of a Phoenix that renews their youth. This stone is said to grant immortality and eternal youth to those who use it, as long as it is used carefully. Unskilled magicians have been known to reset their whole lives and perish as babies in the woods with a Lapis Exilis in hand.  It's in Dinas Emrys, beyond the elemental giants. It's time to head out and battle them to get past them, but for that you need ships. Luckily there are some natives that have generously offered to sail towards the Dinas Emrys with the otherworlders. Once the preparations are complete, it's time to set sail! However, once the ships are far enough from the shore the ships change their flags to ones that are black and have skulls on them. That's right, you have been tricked into pirate ships!

 

E ⦿ Avalon is Flat
The pirates will do their all to restrain all of the otherworlders and send them down to the ship's brig. All of them have various weapons: muskets, pistols, cutlasses, and even stun grenades. They're not afraid of hurting anyone they fight. Anyone who gets caught is either knocked out or thrown directly into the cargo hold.  The pirates also have animals that are as vicious as them. Be careful of the shark parrots with their sharp teeth and sharp fin-like feathers (and a foul mouth that will insult anyone and everyone), the undead monkeys that won't die no matter what you do (death mages are able to exorcise them) or the cute but vicious venom cats that can inflict poison with their claws. But unless you've got experience using magic to pilot their pirate
ships, mutiny is probably a bad idea unless you want to be floating in the lake for the rest of your life. Try it and you're more likely to walk the plank and be lost to the lake's magical creatures. If no one stops the pirates, the ships are going to the edge of the map where the water floats into space. That's right, Avalon is, in fact, flat. Why did they come to the edge of the map anyway? To find some treasure of course! There are some rare chests right by the edge of the map where the water starts going down to space. They want otherworlders to swim for the treasures because they're not crazy enough to attempt it themselves. Attached to a rope, you get to go diving right on the edge of the map. There are various expensive jewelry found from the water that they want you to bring back. If you try to blindside them they'll cut the rope when you least expect it and you’ll fall into frozen time. The only way to get you out? A dark mage known as the Avalon Reaper who sails the edge of the lake and curses those who fall off the map to a quick death-- it's honestly the easiest way to get you back, so better be careful. There are also vicious predatory jellyfish in the waters that will attack anyone who will get too close to their favorite treasure. Luckily the pirates have a solution: a jar of dirt! The jellyfish are afraid of the land and anything related to it so they will definitely swim away when you see you have some dirt with you. Makes carrying treasure a bit hard, but better safe than sorry!

 

---

 

 

F ⦿ The Heart of the Sea-- Er, Lake
Once you're done treasure-diving, it's back to the brig with ye! Within the brig, otherworlder prisoners may have noticed something a little odd. The walls within the pirates' ships seem to be a little warmer than one would expect of wood, particularly toward the center of the room. In fact, if you're near the center of the ship, you may notice that the ship has a heartbeat... and while the pirates rule the ship with fear and aggression, the ship itself.. seems to have a bit of a soft spot-- and a soul. Try speaking to the ship and pleading your case, and you may find yourself with a ship taking you where you want to go. Piss the ship off, and you may find it's happy to drive you straight through the battle of the Elemental Giants to drown you right off its back. So be nice- or don't. The choice is up to you. But once you've discovered this, you're safe to mutiny and try to take the ship back
yourself and head to your destination... Or so you may have thought. It turns out that rations were not designed for a pirate excursion, but for a straight trip to Dinas Emrys. You don't have enough to make it, so the best case scenario is to head back to Camelot. As you do, you may notice a number of bottles popping out of the lake's wakes with messages in them: an old ally, the cursed underwater town, have another way to Dinas Emrys. They'll be ready for you mid-month, prepare yourselves.

 

---

 

 

 

• All test drive prompts are open to anyone in the game at any time to create your own logs with, as the events within are considered game canon as long as the characters are currently in or join the game during the application period. If new players do not want their TDM to be considered canon, they should state as much on the OOC intro once accepted. • Both current members and potential new characters can post to this TDM log. Anyone may reply to any threads or start top-levels. Whichever you prefer! •If nothing here tickles your fancy, try one of this month's Quests for your TDM prompt. • This month's arrival prompts vary from normal, so make sure you read through! • Questions about this TDM's content? Comment here! If you have a question about the game at-large, please head over to the FAQ.

Comments

Toshirou Hijikata | Gintama (Primatica CRAU) | Current Character

[mayoninofukucho]

A ⦿ Soaring in Your Arrival

Seriously?!

[Hijikata didn't see this coming when he headed out to the bay for the monthly arrival of newcomers. Where the hell did these weirdly colourful dolphins come from?! Well, doesn't matter. He swings himself on the back of the archaeopteryx that carried him here and flies to the rescue of anyone who may need it!

Only that he... never did something like this before. So while he envisioned himself simply soaring past and whisking the first unfortunate new arrival out of their predicament, what actually happens is that a jumping dolphin collides with his mount, making it lose balance and drop its rider. Before Hijikata can hit the water he quickly sends some ice magic downwards, creating himself a nice solid ice floe to land on. He reorients himself and calls out to the poor person being bounced around between the overeager creatures.]

Hang in there!

[Easier said than done, isn't it?]

B ⦿ MagiCamp

[Honestly, Hijikata wasn't really enticed by the chocolate geysir. He doesn't have a sweet tooth at all. He mainly came here to see if he might find the selkie woman he helped get out of her unwanted marriage to a human last year, but she's nowhere to be seen - no surprise, given how reclusive selkie women are because of experiences exactly like that. But upon overhearing people talk about the double sleeping bag issue in some of the tents he can offer a solution!]

I can make you an air bed. It'll disappear after seven-and-a-half hours, though.

C ⦿ Joust the Tip

[Hijikata has learned how to ride here on Avalon, and he can certainly get a handle on the lance and shield. He's already fought on horseback using his sword and his magic, but this should be useful too! Nothing like skewering mid-sized monsters in full gallop! (At least in his imagination... maybe there's a pattern here, given how the rescue attempt from the dolphins worked out.) If nothing else he's cutting a dashing enough figure on his black stallion, knight cloak billowing behind him and equipment in hand.]

Who wants to be my opponent?

D ⦿ Ubercooked

[Sadly not everyone on Avalon knows about Hijikata's idea of "cooking", so somehow he was allowed to enter a cooking station, where he has made it his mission to fill mayonnaise from his bottomless mug into each can on top of the soup (he poured less soup in to leave space for the condiment... honestly, the soup/mayonnaise ratio is something like 60/40). Someone please stop this man.]

E ⦿ Avalon is Flat

[Dinas Emrys, then... it's been a year since they last attempted an expedition there, only to be shipwrecked by those two gargantuan creatures starting a fight out at sea. As far as Hijikata knows no one has tried to head back out there since. As a knight he'll definitely go along - if those giants are still out there it's bound to be dangerous.

Alas, the danger turns out to have been onboard from the outset. He's very pissed off about the betrayal, and the pirates are finding a tough adversary in him. Right now some of them are trying to put out the mast he set on fire while he makes a board plank snap upright to catch a bullet meant for him and exorcises a zombie monkey with the other hand. He's had time to hone his elemental- and death magic!]

Surrender, you sea rats, then you'll get to see another day!!

[Maybe he should consider that his allies are going to drown if he wrecks this ship... or does he have a contingency plan for that?]

F ⦿ The Heart of the Sea-- er, Lake

[One way or the other Hijikata eventually got taken out of commission (the pirates aren't newbies either!) and tossed inside the ship. He's still pissed off, but also unable to keep fighting for now, so instead he tries to brainstorm ways to get out of this situation... if there's weren't this distracting throbbing sound.]

Ugh... is this my own heart in my ears, or does anyone else hear this too?


Quests

A ⦿ Cake or Fake?

[So some unfortunate soul managed to turn their whole house and almost everything inside into cake... this is a weird quest, but Hijikata is tackling it! First of all he takes his shoes off before entering the building. Walking on cake with dirty soles would feel wrong as hell.]

Everything looks normal... what the hell kind of spell was that? Some dark web shit?

B ⦿ Oh, bogger...

[A monster in someone's basement? Sounds like a job for a knight! (Also because Hijikata is totally shirking the current knight quest. He doesn't want to escort anxious, squeaky guinea pigs that want to make a dozen detours!) In front of the fretful man's house he turns to his companion.]

Remember, it'll take the shape of your worst fear. Are you braced for that?


[OOC: Feel free to tag in with other quest prompts as well - he wouldn't pursue those naturally, but will support 'light web' questers and can be targeted or unwittingly dragged into dark web quests!]

B!

[angel_of_death]

[Walter isn't at the camp as a newcomer, but he lingers for some time. Like Hijikata, he spends a good deal of time looking over the selkies in a less than lustful manner, also looking for the selkie lady who had been so wrongfully entrapped in marriage.

He cannot help but notice the other man searching. Curious, and for lack of results in his own search, Walter eventually approaches the man, waiting until after he's finished talking over the issue with the sleeping arrangements.]

Were you looking for someone before? Among the selkies.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Walter is a rare sight for Hijikata - he usually only spots him on AOL here and there, but on the whole he has the impression that he's either an elusive person or simply travels outside of Camelot City much of the time. It's good to see that he's still around.]

Yeah, the woman from last year, the one who put up the quest. I know that a whole bunch of people helped her out with that.

[Avalon's little time loops are something else. It was pretty wild comparing stories after the fact. Some questers outright murdered the coercive husband, others, like him and Zelgadis, strongarmed him into giving up his unhappy wife's pelt. He wonders what order of events the timeline eventually settled on, but not enough to investigate.]

I guess she won't come this close to the shore anymore.

[angel_of_death]

I remember.

[Walter had done the quest, too. His path had been one of decidedly grey morality. He'd tortured the man for information and held him hostage until the veracity of the pelt was confirmed... he'd brought him, restrained, and subjugated him before the selkie woman, to let her decide his fate.

It had only seemed fitting.]

I ask them about her whenever I talk to them. Not that I expect every selkie to know every other selkie... Although, I am planning to make a space where they can gather.

[He turns, settling his hand on the head of a young winged dragon behind him, mindful of their presence. The dragonet, as Emet-Selch referred to them, is a pale purple in colour; a little darker than when they first hatched, and quite a great deal bigger.]

We'll go fishing soon.

[mayoninofukucho]

[Hijikata is no stranger to torturing people - back home he's feared for his interrogation techniques -, but he's found that often enough he can simply intimidate his way into getting what he wants. (To be fair, that won't work every time, not by far, and it depends on chance and circumstance. In his case of the selkie's husband's "persuasion" a harpoon was involved.)

He's about to ask Walter if he talks to the selkies often, surprised that anyone would go out of their way to socialise with them (though if Walter happens to be straight that'd be a solid protection from the men's wiles) when he notices the dragon. He does a double take.]

Oh! Isn't this Belgium's? Are you minding it for her?

[The alternative - her being gone from Avalon - gives him a bit of a pang. He never likes losing a fellow knight. Little does he know how off the mark he is in this case.]

[angel_of_death]

[Walter's sexuality, as it turns out, is something of a complex issue, much to the lament of more than one for various reasons; the spa dragon he refused to wed, the master back home who sought the attentions of numerous women, and the dear friend here he has genuine feelings for, but has yet to develop the full spectrum of attraction towards.

Whensoever he talks to the selkies, male or female, he does not feel the draw that others do. Not having any real education in sexuality, he assumes it is because he is too young.

But, as Hijitaka does not ask... none of this is revealed. Instead, the flow of the conversation turns towards his 'child'.

Belgium. Walter's eyes widen a fraction, not in alarm, but in recognition. He knows her. He'd gotten the egg from the same man she had received hers... though, really, he expects they both had them dumped practically into their laps by a man who would not offer even the beginning of an explanation, aside from "keep it warm" and "don't let it crack".]

No. This one was entrusted to me, as an egg.

...You know Mademoiselle Belgium? [He pauses, recalling her position as a knight.] Or would it be Sir Belgium? [Unless she prefers Dame. He really should ask her.]

[mayoninofukucho]

[That'd do the trick (and indeed, Walter is still young - something that Hijikata, used to viewing teenaged comrades back home as full-fledged soldiers, tends to accidentally discount). They could share stories about the spa investigation - though it'd probably be more of a vexed rant on Hijikata's part, and the present dragon is far more agreeable. Upon closer inspection he does notice some small differences in appearance compared to its sibling.]

Yeah, we're both knights of Camelot. So there were two eggs... or even more? I helped her transport hers to the animal shelter for incubation. Did you keep yours at home until it hatched?

[He can't answer Walter's other question, really. Not being one for formalities - he just barely bothers to at least address King Arthur with propriety - he's simply been calling her België after learning that that's her native name.]

Quests - B

[hor]

Are you?

[ Horus folds his hands behind his back for a moment, his now different-colored eyes glistening a little in the faint light. The golden eye seems dark, but the blue eye seems to faintly glow in even the faintest glimmer of light. They're certainly different than the last they spoke. ]

My biggest fear is both Set and I dying and having to live under the reign of my father, so it may be a bit much for a human to witness. He is the King of the Underworld.

[ Just warning Hijikata..!! In case they're suddenly, you know, plunged into an illusion of the Underworld. ]

[mayoninofukucho]

[Hijikata notices the change - it'd be hard to miss -, but doesn't comment on it. Probably just normal god things! (Okay, maybe he'll ask later. It's not like he's the type to fret about remarking on people's appearances, all the less if they really are unusual.)

Horus just openly telling him about his fears takes him aback. It's a very good idea, certainly much better than just surprising the other with some nightmare scenario in there, but this kind of honesty doesn't come so easily to Hijikata. So he stalls for time for a moment, also because he actually does wonder:]

Is the prospect of living in your father's world so horrible? Is he not a just ruler?

[Also at least Horus and Set would be together! Hijikata doesn't think he'll end up in the same underworld as his loved ones, be it due to different judgements (his Mitsuba certainly won't go to Japanese hell with him) or different belief systems.]

[hor]

[ If he's going to see it anyway, Horus figures it is better to get ahead of it. He can't exactly explain why he hates his father so much though, and it isn't particularly relevant. ]

Father is a heartless, manipulative, selfish man who has everyone fooled into believing he's benevolent. He wants Set all to himself, even if that means convincing Set he's a monster no one else could love and setting me to kill him so he can have him back. Why would I ever want to see that wretched soul have more power over me?

[ Together would not be an option. He'd more likely see Horus as a threat, as Osiris feels nothing anymore. Horus, unfortunately, doesn't know that he actually is heartless and bound to Apophis. Whether that would make it any better is irrelevant. ]

What should we be on the lookout for with you?

[mayoninofukucho]

[Whew. And here he thought he has a troublesome family background, having been born as a bastard child... he's not sure what to say to such heavy information, so he moves on to answer Horus' question after a moment of silence.]

...

I'm not sure, honestly.

[He's been facing and overcoming it all - his childhood village burning down and his oldest brother losing his eyesight trying to protect him, the hardships of surviving on his own after running away from home, all the gore and death of his many battles, his guilt over Mitsuba passing away unmarried after he rejected her for her safety, even fears of losing his Commander in the future. What is he still afraid of at this point? He even got to revisit and surmount his rather traumatic brainwashing at King Majestas' hands on Prismatica (thanks, Queen Mab).]

Sorry, I know that's not helpful. I can only guess that it'll try to show me a loved one getting harmed or dying. But I'm a death mage, so I think I can handle it.

[Little does he realise that there may be brand new nightmare scenarios featuring new friends now after all these months on Avalon.]

[hor]

It helps we already know it isn't real. Still, even just imagining certain things gives you chills, doesn't it?

[ Horus definitely doesn't want to die. He definitely doesn't want to lose Set. He doesn't want to fail. He doesn't want to be under his father's thumb. There's a lot to be afraid of for him, a lot that can go wrong. It's his self-confidence and absolution of will that he refuses to let it happen. Something being able to make it happen outside of his choice is quite scary on its own. ]

Want to hold my hand~? [ He holds it out. It's comforting! And Horus likes to be touchy. But they're going at this point, so it's important to offer. ]

[mayoninofukucho]

[He's about to snap at him for mocking him when he realises that he's serious.]

...

[He takes his hand, and weird and unusual as this is for him, it does feel strangely reassuring, bringing back really old memories of holding his brother's hand as a child and feeling safe. Regardless his face is grim and prepared as they enter the house. The stairs to the basement are right by the entrance, so down they go! Is there a cold draft, or is that just Hijikata's imagination?]

Whatever it's going to look like, it's just a boggart.

[He says that to hammer it into his own head as much as into Horus'.]

D...

[mamowavin]

[ Once again, Mamori is the hero Avalon both needs and deserves. ]

Hijikata-san! [ Or... is she? Because she's not necessarily calling for his attention to stop his mayonnaise antics, but rather, ] C- can I have some more onions, please?

[ She's teary, but it's definitely from all the onions she chopped and then dumped into one pot, not realizing it was supposed to go to multiple. H-hopefully someone really likes onion (and mayonnaise) soup...??? ]

[mayoninofukucho]

Here you are.

[He hands a few onions over, barely interrupting his robotic can-filling activities. Usually he only ever goes monster-slaying and whatnot, but he just felt compelled to act when he saw the empty cooking station, and you know what, this is great!! It's so effortless! It's his natural talent, clearly! And Mamori is such a good partner! (Is he paying attention to how things are actually going on her end? No.)]

If the onions are making you cry just cover them in mayonnaise! That'll suffocate the sting.

[Will it, Hijikata??? Will it? Or will the smell suffocate the passersby?]

[mamowavin]

Really? [ She's never heard of that before! Then again, it's not like she's been allowed to cook on her cooking ("""cooking""") show... and surely not all adults are like Yashiro, who didn't even know how to feed himself on his own? With how knowledgeable and helpful Hijikata was in the Brocéliande, she doesn't have much of a reason to doubt him.

So she nods, holding the onions close. ] A- alright! I'll do my best! [ And off she goes!

... though she comes back to the middle of the kitchen a mere moment, because: ] Can I have some mayonnaise, too...? [ no mayo on mamori's side of the kitchen??? a crime tbh ]

[mayoninofukucho]

[He's totally in senpai mode, given what masterful control he has of the situation! He casually passes her a mayonnaise bottle he was carrying around in his jacket (because what if something happened to his bottomless mug?).]

If it's hard on you we can swap positions, but be careful with the canning machine, okay?

[As if the stove that keeps sliding around along with the other kitchen segments were any less dangerous for a child...]

[mamowavin]

[ S-so impressive… It’s like he was born to be in this chaos! ]

Okay! Please be careful, too, Hijikata-san. [ She’s not too worried about him, though. He’s got such a good handle on things as is!

With renewed determination and the borrowed bottle of mayonnaise, she begins chopping those onions at lightning speed! … Or, well, a responsible speed for an 11 year old in a moving kitchen. It’s not very fast, but at least she’s being mindful of her fingers?

While one pot bubbles away on the stove (how it’s staying on the burner is a mystery, but it’s best not to think about that), she hauls another onion and mayonnaise pot of stew to the center and hands it off with a bright smile. ] We make a really good team!

[mayoninofukucho]

[Compared to managing the Shinsengumi back home this is like meditation to him, honestly. He smiles at Mamori's words as he takes the pot from her. How fortunate he is to have ended up on a world with nice people like her!]

I agree. You're really fast on the uptake.

[Anyone else would see how precarious this situation is - multiple pots on hot moving plates, a sharp knife in a little girl's hand, steam and boiling water that could scald her at any moment -, but his expression is one of total serenity. As long as there's mayonnaise in the food everything is alright in his book.]

How many more pots do you think you can handle before we take a break?

[Look, he's even mindful of her not exactly having the stamina of a grown man like him!]

or i'll check the tdm and find you! cake time

[currysseur]

( Izumi has come here less for the quest itself and more, well... She has one (1) actor with a sweet tooth, and she's pretty sure he's ended up here.

But first things first, another familiar face is standing in the doorway. The, uh, soft, squidgy, cake doorway, which already has a few bite marks on it.

Ick... )

Maybe it was the fae's idea of a joke...

( Poison would certainly tell her it was the fae's fault, she's sure of that. )

CAKE TIME

[mayoninofukucho]

That sounds about right.

[He huffs as he cautiously advances inside. Again, everything looks normal... but there's a distinct sweet smell in the air.]

How do we go about this? Just pick up everything and see if we can crumble it? Using my swords would be faster, but they'd slice the non-cakified stuff up too, and I doubt we'd get a reward for that.

m u r d e r. or, y'know, pirates

[morns]

( She came along because she needed something to do (says the woman with two businesses) and because, well... She has friends here. And several of them idiots who would go on this excursion.

It was all find until the fucking pirates tied them up. Though that? Is less of a problem when your magic is kinetic, when you've had enough time to hone it until the slightest twitch of your eyeline can send a cutlass soaring through the air and towards the heart of one of their would be kidnappers.

Which is all fine and dandy until someone steps in its trajectory. )

Oi, knight. Duck.

( She's splitting her attention here, trying to unravel the ropes keeping her tied with her fingers. Redirecting the weapon isn't much of an option at this point. )

[mayoninofukucho]

[He just barely manages to get down in time, in a 'limbo'-style back-lean, and the satisfying rough cry and subsequent cursing behind him shows that the weapon hit its intended mark. He doesn't seem too grateful, though.]

Don't interfere!! I've got this--

[A shark parrot descends on him, lands on his head and starts enthusiastically hacking away.]

Ow!! Shit--

[He electrocutes it, but not before it makes a bloody mess out of him. (It's fine, his skull is thick. This is just surface damage.)]

cw cat... kicking???

[morns]

( ... She definitely didn't bite back a laugh at the sketch unfolding in front of her eyes, no. Of course not. You're imagining it. The only thing happening is Kate undoing the last of her ropes and standing up, rubbing her wrists before using another jolt of kinetic magic to pull the cutlass out of the pirate.

That leaves a nasty little bloody pile, but at least he's not about to bother them any more and Kate has a weapon.

... She also has a litter of cats immediately worming their way around her ankles. )

Fuck's sake—

( Isn't kicking cats one of the markers of being an asshole? ... Eh, well, she's done worse. Fuck off, cats. )

/slaps on a general 'violence against pirate pets' CW

[mayoninofukucho]

[Honestly, Hijikata would kick just about anyone and anything that attacked him, but the cats do let out rather harrowing screech-yowls as they meet Kate's footwear. More importantly to him, she's clearly capable of participating in this battle, so he drops his 'leave it to the knights' attitude.

By now an elemental mage among the pirates has put out the fire, and the deck is a chaotic scene of scattered duels and small groups duking it out. He briefly surveys the situation while sending another pirate charging at him overboard with a strong gust of wind.]

What a shitshow!! How'd we walk into this like morons?!

[He doesn't bother formulating much of a game plan, since it seems pretty straightforward: take out all enemies, take over the ship, assess the situation (how many allies are wounded, are there healers on board, etc.) and either proceed with the expedition or steer back to the harbour.]