Headcanon Meme

[eightfoldfiend]

HEADCANON MEME

• Reply with your characters
  
• Tag around and ask people things about their characters!
  
• Answer the questions people ask you in as much detail as you wish!
  
• You can't be late
  

Comments

[milkmycattle]

What was Kadoc's childhood like? What would be the title of his autobiography? Is he a morning or night person? Any bad habits?

[impostorsyndrome]

I LOVE IT, I'm gonna do these out of order

AUTOBIOGRAPHY: omg I'm stumped. He would never write one anyway because he is way too self-conscious and self-loathing to think anything he's done deserves a memoir. Kadoc's entire thing is that he's worked crushingly hard all his life to accomplish something of worth and he keeps not being able to, sometimes due to pure awful luck he couldn't control or change, and so he has never managed to do anything that he feels makes his life worthwhile. Losers don't get memoirs! nelson laugh

MORNING VS NIGHT: I'd say he's a night person, though as mentioned in the other comment up there he did become a person who was a 24 hour person and didn't distinguish much between day and night, because he wasn't sleeping anymore. But it took him a while to get to that point, and he strikes me as the type who was much more likely to stay up working until 4 AM and then crash than to wake up at 5 AM to get a jump on the day's work. In the end though he's actually the guy who attempts to just do both of those things lol. Night definitely appeals more to his gloomy and solitary soul though.

BAD HABITS: He has . . . tons of these . . . like setting his poor self care aside for now, a whole lot of his interaction in canon is people calling him out on bad mental health and conversational habits, lol. He apologizes a lot and throws a lot of self-deprecation into his dialogue, one of those protective habits of "if I criticize myself first then I can shut people up before they do it themselves," and is a pessimist, and he's also very aware and self-conscious of all these things, which only feeds into his inferiority complex. The boy really needs some therapy or something but he's also the type who does that perfectionism thing of "If I can just accomplish [whatever thing he's aiming for] then after that I'll be able to be happy and healthy and work on myself." And when that accomplishment never comes, he just keeps putting off the part where he's "allowed" to do anything for himself other than try again for another thing, and so on. It's a bad spiral.

CHILDHOOD: We don't know anything about this but I do assume that if he came from an abusive family, we'd know about it, because Fate/ is all about that in great detail har har. So it wouldn't be subtle or left to the imagination if it happened. OTOH Kadoc talks about "family" as a concept a lot because of his bloodline situation, but never once talks about any member of his family as a person he had a relationship with, so my assumption is that his family is/was like . . . fine, but distant. He does not come off as someone who has ever had a lot of support or affection in his life. He threw himself into surpassing the limitations of his bloodline for his own sake (he never implies he's doing it to make his name or family proud, either) and I would assume that his parents just kind of didn't know how to handle how intense he was about it and how withdrawn and negative he became as a person. Mage society in Fate/ is a crapsack world where most families are on some level unhealthy in their raising and expectations of their children, and I would also assume that his parents didn't want to discourage him either from being intensely motivated even to the detriment of his physical and mental health. Whether that was because they (like many mages) just think it's fine for kids to wreck themselves for power or because they were kind of intimidated by him, or maybe both, I'm not sure. But I don't imagine they intervened much in his trajectory. I think his childhood was largely Kadoc doing his own thing without much care or supervision or warmth, but also without any active negativity or abuse from his family, which is like . . . bad but better than it could be in Fateverse, lol

He did grow up in Poland and did have some normal life experiences that weren't Just Magic Study, but on the whole he's always been a quiet nerd kid with his nose in a book and some headphones on, who was severely bullied by other mages in his peer group, and over time became less socially comfortable and more inwardly focused because of it.

[milkmycattle]

Woah! There's a lot of interesting details here. Poor Kadoc, it's like his life is that one Linkin Park song, "In the End." Tsk, tsk, love yourself a bit more!

Kadoc should totally write a book though. Maybe, it doesn't have to be about himself, but a cautionary tale of a character similar to him. It'll become a Bestseller because a lot of people can relate to that type of struggle. Double whammy, he's done a service to the public! So win-win!

Well, it's no wonder he works himself to the bone. Family applies a lot of pressure and expectations even if they aren't doing it directly. It won't be easy to break from that ingrained mindset. But Kadoc, get help! There's nothing wrong with being a perfectionist, but this is a little extreme. It'll be nice if he incorporates a balance. Hopefully, someone will show him the light! Crow will definitely call him out on his self-deprecating habit. Maybe his habits will change now that he's in Avalon since things are more laid back.

I hope positive people rub off on this boy, so he can take better care of himself and worry less about working himself to exhaustion. That ain't a life, bro.