TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 7

[avalonmods]

✨ Greet new players on the OOC intro while apps are processed HERE! ✨

{ QUICK NAV } Premise ⚔️️ Rules ⚔️️ FAQ ⚔️️ Taken ⚔️️ Reserves ⚔️️ Apply ⚔️️ Locations ⚔️️ Bestiary ⚔️️ Top-Levels Only ⚔️️ A ⦿ Soaking in Your Arrival KERPLUNK, SPLASH! Regardless of what you were in the middle of, you and your familiar have been magically pulled into the world of Avalon just above the Bay's waters. After a brief plunge into the Bay, the rush of water filling your ears and soaking up into every creak and crevice of your body, you may need to cough to clear your airways when you rise above the surface. It's still chilly, but not enough that you can't manage on your own. The Lady of the Lake is swimming around under the water, helping to rescue any wayward travelers who look like they're struggling in the water. This month's helpers are giant pillow jellies, a species of jellyfish that is capable of ballooning itself at the surface to create bouncy pads for characters to hop across to the shore, should they choose or not be able to swim. They come in a variety of bioluminescent colors, but do not seem to be very talkative even to animal magic users. Those who try may find themselves being ignored, even if they hear the jellies talking amongst themselves about this and that. If anyone tries to ask the Lady of the Lake for directions, she will direct you to Archimedes at the Rent-a-Ride. The shores themselves are littered with new arrivals complaining their way up a staircase carved into the walls of the White Cliffs. There is no railing, so be careful, but if you do fall, be prepared for a mysterious sand hand to reach out of the side of the cliffs to catch you. The hand will pat you atop the head twice before retreating back into the wall. This is the Cliff Beast; despite the name, he is quite friendly. *Reminder: Your character's familiar may or may not be with your character in their initial plunge. If the familiar isn't partial to water, it may meet your character on the beach or sit atop their head while they swim. Or if they are, they might splash about and swim alongside your character. Familiars have different personalities and body specs and we leave those up to the players. B ⦿ The Caravan to Camelot Once everyone is wrangled up to the top of the White Cliffs, the handsome owner of the Rent-a-Ride, Archimedes, will distribute smart phones and a pair of special ear buds (the supplier was out of the regular ones) and tell them to "Check the Shit Box." The "Shit Box" refers to wardrobe more formally known as the Wardrobe of Finding, a hammerspace-like wardrobe that opens to each person's items and pets when the person touches the handle. It was recently enchanted by Merlin to prevent people from having to fish their waterlogged possessions and pets out of the water with them. From there, Archimedes directs everyone to settle in groups into modernized carriages pulled by horses and gives them a basic explanation of why and how they've been brought to Avalon: The rest of the universe is frozen in time and your character has been brought here by a familiar that was able to bond with them. They'll have to learn magic to help save their own world from destruction, but first they've got to get them to Camelot. It is here that you have the first opportunity to decide who they will be in their new home. You'll have about an hour to wander around here, meet and greet, and pet the horses before it's time to go. These carriages use fae technology that combats weight, so your character will be able to get in regardless of whether they're light as a feather or weigh two tons. The carts have air conditioning when it's hot, heating when it's cold, and a mystical shield to protect from bugs. There is also a mini-bar that pops out of the console with nip bottles. Characters can use their smartphones to connect to Camelot's internet service, avalononline (AOL), to chat with other characters, watch dumb videos, learn about the world, contact Camelot Support (they'll answer any questions they can for you, from how to use a smart phone to where to find quests and resources to learn more about your magic). Be careful if you decide to use your phones while in the caravan-- if you don't use those earbuds and start forcing everyone to listen to your nonsense, Archimedes may make you walk. C ⦿ The Red Spring The journey from the White Cliffs to the City of Camelot is a long one, and the first evening you arrive you'll end up spending at the Red Spring, a booming resort town. Because of the volume of new arrivals and vacationers, inn rooms are assigned two-to-a-room. The rooms have two twin beds, a bathroom, a mini-fridge and microwave, and a TV equipped with a couple of entertaining video games and a few free movies. If you don't want to relax in the room, try taking a dip in the spring for another chance to meet your fellow travelers. The waters have restorative properties that help horses and travelers recover quickly when drunk. It is known to relieve stress, improve energy levels, and mildly accelerate healing. It may be a little chilly when you get out though, so make sure you don't slip rushing back indoors when you get out! The springs are also home to a large training grounds just outside town limits, where there are teachers who will teach basic magic safety and help you discover what kind of magic you have together with other new arrivals. Try target practice, obstacle courses, meditation circles, and other ways to try to figure out just what you can do... if you didn't already have an accidental discovery on the ride there. After the new arrivals come in, they'll find that this month they came in on the middle of a rather tumultuous time... people are arguing and debating about a future decision to be made. King Arthur recently tried to negotiate with Celliwig's people to open the doors to Camelot, but they refused, and the people have been left with a decision: 1. attempt long-distance, slow wooing of Queen Elphame via the Elphame Traders of the next couple of months, 2. attempt to prove a balanced and deeper understanding of the need for both pure and impure hearts by suggesting an acceptance of trials from Celliwig, or 3. band together under Camelot's flag to invade Celliwig. Celliwig is a place of communication between Elphame and Camelot that bypasses the need for weeks of dangerous, often fatal travel, so the choice is very important in regards to how Camelot both presents itself to the fae people in the future. To that end, people with strong beliefs about particular choices have arranged gatherings to draw people in to hear their perspectives on what the choice should be. A ⦿ Honey Over Vinegar A wide variety of people have sided with this group, including the Elphame Traders, as cutting Celliwig off from them would mean a much harder journey each month to the city of Camelot. (Though commerce always does find a way.) This group is hosting a Tree-Picking Tournament! Of course, the trees to be picked are out in the farmlands, and members of the lobbying group will be giving people free one-use Farm Totems to get to the tournament. The trees in this grove are a little different than normal trees, however. For one, they don't bear fruit. This is Camelot's cookie orchard, composed of special fairy tree hybrids that grow a variety of sweet treats on their branches instead of fruits. There are your usual chocolate chip and peanut butter cookies, but also little puff-like wedding cookies on bushes or checkboard cookies blossoming out of stems instead of flowers. There are even some trees that have clusters of miniature French macarons! The best part, at the end when you turn in your cookies for the count and get your participation prize (and bonus pamphlet about how slow and steady wins the race), you can totally keep and eat them, so be careful not to drop them! How you get them down from the tree is up to you, of course. Try some magic, or maybe just some regular old tree-shaking will do the trick.. just be careful you don't accidentally knock down any wasp nests. Those stings will hurt bad! B ⦿ A Balanced Approach The party of people who want to try to woo Celliwig over to smooth things over see this little political gathering with cookie-based bribery and quickly fashion their own event to make sure the fanfare isn't all for just the one idea. To gather people in to hear their side of the story, this group has decided to host a bug catching contest! Head out into those flower fields between Camelot and the Red Springs that are now thriving thanks to April's plentiful rains. Whether you use a net or figure out how to use your magic to get the bugs, it's how many you catch, not what kinds you catch that count-- so make it fast and make it plentiful! And at the end of the day, what you choose to do with your captured bugs is up to you. Crush them or free them, keep them or eat them, whatever it is you want to do... ultimately, all moral choices are valid, right? So let's go along with what Celliwig wants! Don't forget that May is the season of the frog, however, and you'll be in competition with a variety of sentient and wise members of the Frog Tribe, a group of bipedal frogs who live in the southernmost part of the lake and come up to the flowerfields to stick their tongues out for some delicious bug treats. They have no problem sticking their tongues right into your captured bug nest, hopping on heads to steal your catches, and do all kinds of crazy interferences like snipping belts and tonguing ankles to trip people. You may want someone to watch your back for this event, lest you get done in by a hopper. C ⦿ A Show of Strength The more war-hungry citizens of Camelot seek to go to war. This whole issue will be over if Celliwig itself isn't the one in charge of communication and it's just made directly between Elphame and Camelot, rather than having a mediator who refuses to mediate. They believe that a show of strength is the only way to solve this problem, and as such, they'll be demonstrating that the greatest rewards come from strength by organizing an expedition to a cave at the base of the Ash Mountains. Taking a path squarely between the Dusklight Woods and the edge of the Lands of Rot to the base of the Ash Mountains, this expedition will lead into a cave known as the Giant Cave. It's a pretty on-the-nose name, since it really is a big cave. One of the cool things about this cave is that it's filled with geodes. Those who have enough strength can use provided pickaxes and drills to dig up their own crystals and gold, both great for jewelry and enchanting. In particular, there is a large amount of: • Rose quartz: dark mages can make their love spells much more powerful and healers can use this to enhance spells that soothe anxieties and self-doubt • Amethyst: siphoners increase the potency of counter-curses and light mages will find this stone makes their hard light shields stronger than ever • Agate: strengthen cognitive abilities like post-cognition for a clearer picture of what happened by enhancing perception, and death mages will find they're able to extend their possession times by about 30 minutes by using an agate to stablize their aura • Moonstones: will increase navigation as a traveler's protection for kinetic users-- no longer will you risk tripping over a rock while going at enhanced speeds, or can be traded to fairies to potentially bring down a steep price to something more reasonable • Black tourmaline: a crystal that shields from opposition/negativity-- for technomancers and elementalists, this means that technology is more likely to side with them over another technomancer, or elementalists will find that when using opposing elements, theirs will come out stronger-- like water vs fire, electric vs rock, etc. • Hematite: can soothe blood, leaving it a good tool to enhance animal and blood magic-- animals may trust you more readily by having a calming effect on them, and blood mages may find that they heal more readily after using their abilities • Boji stone: alchemists will find that this is a good stabilizer for for particularly volatile potion combinations, and the properties of this stone leaves green mages to sense new types of plants they haven't yet encountered in passing, even if they're not looking at them It's not particularly a contest in this case-- you can keep and use what you want, and this show of strength has given you more power than ever, so why not consider the same concept for how to deal with our unneighborly neighbors in Celliwig? It may be sweaty business, but surely hitting some rocks will show you the value of strength! With the surprisingly tame day in the Giant Cave, one would think that the Ash Mountains were something of a safe place. No one really bothered the travelers, but that's because no one had been home at the time. as it turns out, the Giant Cave is home to a giant... douchebag of a minotaur. Not a giant, despite the name. His name is Simon and he doesn't like to share, and now that a bunch of people have gone and taken his rocks (he didn't even know there were crystals inside, nor does he do anything with them). Now he has to take his revenge, regardless of not knowing who actually took the crystals that were never really his to begin with, they just happened to be in rocks near where he sleeps. A ⦿ A Stone's Throw from Revenge The minotaur is a very instinctive creature, and his instincts say that the people of Camelot, the nearest settlement, are the ones who need to be punished for this. He uses his superhuman strength to drag huge rocks and boulders all the way to the north-east edge of Camelot, seemingly for no reason, until he's got practically a wall built. At which point he starts picking them up, spinning, and then vaulting the rocks into Camelot's buildings. You may find yourself inside of one of those buildings and scrambling to check if everyone and yourself is okay, or perhaps you're rushing out to stop the minotaur from throwing another. Either way, it's a sudden attack and you're going to have to act fast. Trying to attack the minotaur will be difficult, since it has superhman strength and durability, sharp horns atop its head, and can smell you coming from a mile away. Get creative, and stop the minotaur before it's too late! B ⦿ There's Safety in Numbers Once the minotaur's attacks stop, it flees to recover its wounds, promising it will come back to destroy Camelot once and for all. It's a time for reprieve and to help clean up the damage. Use your magic to help clean up broken buildings and structures, or heal and help others who were injured in the sudden, mostly unprovoked attack. Many of the uninjured citizens will be going around town and providing drinks, towels, and cups of noodles to those who are helping out. Because of the impending threat of the minotaur's return, it's recommended that otherworlder's use the (Recipe) Buddy System spell. The way they explain it, it's a spell designed to alert your buddy if you're in danger and lasts about an hour. The way it actually works is you must be touching your buddy in any way at all times for the next hour. Unfortunately, it seems like the volunteers sharing the recipe may have missed that it was created in a kindergarten class, not for adults. C ⦿ Gross Thankfully, the Buddy System wears off before the Minotaur is back for round two. When the Minotaur returns, the castle has since gathered forces to the edge of town to defend it from another attack. It's unclear where the Minotaur went to get healed, but whoever he went to apparently had some advice, however, and the instinctive minotaur gave into a different instinct for part two of his revenge. Rather than go right back to his pile of rocks, he instead travels the day to get to the southernmost part of Camelot and barrels into town unopposed, as most of the troupes are where they had thought he would come from again. After all, minotaurs are not known to be big thinkers. Instead of violently destroying this time, however, the minotaur instead heads straight to lowertown's well-- and takes a pee in it. It turns out, not only does he have a giant-- ahem, but he is a giant dick as well. Now the entire lowertown has to be evacuated due to contaminated water up to other areas of Camelot. Many people who live there are relocated to live in extra castle rooms. After all, Minotaur Urine is known to be incredibly potent and stinky. Mages who are able to handle the smell are asked to come help perform a ritual of water purification for the lowertown's water system. This ritual involves multiple groups of people performing synchronic magic, a magic type that requires you to be in perfect sync with your partner. Draw a special ritual circle with four candles at equidistant points. Chant a spell in sync with your partner, and blow a special powder made of ground jasper, charcoal, and rosemary into the center of the circle. It will be drawn into the candles' flames and with enough people doing this, all impurities will be removed from the lowertown's water and dissipate into the atmosphere. KEY POINTS New arrivals drop into the lake and have to climb up a cliff to the Rent a Ride, where they are given their device and some headphones and can retrieve their personal materials. They travel to Camelot, which is a multiple day journey, so they stop at the Red Springs along the way and stay at an inn there. There is a vote pending for Camelot and each side of the issue is trying to engage otherworlders to their side of the vote. The slow/steady approach is hosting a cookie harvesting tournament from a grove of cookie trees, the middleground group is hosting a bug-catching contest, and the group that wants war is hosting a mining expedition. The mining expedition aggros an asshole of a minotaur, who throws rocks at Camelot. Driven away, the townspeople try to help by distributing a spell called "Buddy System" which binds two people together, not realizing it was intended for kindergarteners. (Oops.) The minotaur returns and pees in the lowertown's water, so a ritual of water purification must be performed because it's gross and stinky. The minotaur is still at large. **** The above key points are a new feature we're going to start including on TDMs and Events. Since it's new, the format is still fluid, so please let us know if you have any feedback for this section here. It should just include brief summaries of each prompt to make parsing information easier and more accessible. The original prompts should still be read and referred to for complete information and details. **** MOD NOTES: • All test drive prompts are open to anyone in the game at any time to create your own logs with, but this post should have top-levels by potential new characters only. Current characters may reply to any threads, but should not top-level comment on this post. • If your application is accepted, you may accept TDM threads as game canon as long as both players consent. Characters may begin threading as soon as their journal is accepted to the communities. • A poll will go up a little later this week regarding the mentioned voting, which should be answered ICly by each character you play. The poll will remain open through the 15th so that newly accepted characters may also vote if they choose to. •If nothing here tickles your fancy, try one of this month's Quests for your TDM prompt. • The first "Arrival" prompts are present on every TDM, but contain seasonal tweaks for flavor. All other prompts will change monthly. • Questions about this TDM's content? Comment here! If you have a question about the game at-large, please head over to the FAQ.

Comments

[intonings]

[ Seeing him put up a fight makes her smirk. At least he seems to have it in him. Initially, Zero thought he might be one of these "won't lay a finger on a woman" types. Thankfully, he is not. ]

Someone here has strong opinions. [ It's actually amusing how wrong he is. Instead of telling him that, however, she withdraws her sword. ] Do you have a weapon, nerd? I'll give you some princess treatment.

[konpeito_aji]

[HE JUST ARCHES BOTH EYEBROWS AT HER. Does he have a weapon? If she has to ask, she's already outclassed!]

[But he has his favorite katana, and a Tanegashima gun.]

[He withdraws the gun first and holds it point blank to her face. You'd think it'd be crazy to load it and climb trees, but he IS crazy, so there's that.]

[That said, he doesn't have much killing intent to fire it. She's annoying, not worthy of death and the repercussions.

[intonings]

That's a long weapon. You're not compensating for something else, are you?

[ The shit she says even when there's a gun right in her face. Nobunaga's defifnitely not the only crazy person here. ]

[konpeito_aji]

[His gun is actually a lot shorter than the usual rifles, since it's meant for his close-range combat style like pirates, rather than distance or hunting for which Nobunaga, just uses archery.]

[But she's definitely mouthy, and he appreciates it, even if he's still 95% certain wasps are going to sting and shrink them both without warning.]

My katana was taken from one of the idiot would-be demons of my youth.

Guns would be a poor phallic substitute, they go off too early, with a hair trigger sensitivity, and have no business in pleasuring a woman.

[NOTICE FOR SOME REASON HE DID NOT SAY THAT ABOUT KATANAS??????? How do you use a katana in sex, Nobunaga? On second thought, don't answer that.]

[intonings]

[ No, Nobunaga, please share with the class 👀 ]

I hope you didn't stick yours into your ass to check if it's a good dick substitute. Or did you?

[ What is even going on in this conversation. ]

[konpeito_aji]

[He's genuinely puzzling over how that would work, and why anyone would even TRY THAT?!]

D-Do you want to try to ride one to find out????

[ACTUALLY ASKING! He assumes that no, she's not into that, because why would anyone be, but then SHE BROUGHT IT UP!!?]

[He's grown up with soldiers his whole life. Had to deal with his first assassination attempts at 8, and killing back at 13, when he became a bitty warlord, but this is still puzzling him, even above and beyond how women are generally... NOT THIS.]

[He does a quick glance back up the tree. WELL at least the wasps don't seem eager to go crazy yet. Maybe this tree doesn't have any? He doubts it.]

i feel like i should have apologized for her like 4 comments earlier

[intonings]

I'd rather stick the hilt up your ass and see how it goes.

[ As for the wasps, Zero notices one flying right above Nobunaga's head. The buzzing is even more annoying than his yapping, so she just...reaches for it to catch it with her prosthetic hand and kill it. Perhaps not the smartest idea, but at least she didn't do it with her other hand. ]

What were you saying about the wasps again? I wasn't listening earlier.

[ At least she's honest...? ]

Nooooooo lmao I love it

[konpeito_aji]

Like an ass-rocket? [BRB DYING OF LULZ.] Nah, it's not as continuous as fireworks. It would just be really disgusting.

Oh. They shrunk me to faerie size last time, although that was honeybees. I thought I could ride on Haguro, but he wasn't cooperating. [SHRUG.]

How'd you get the sweet hand? [WELP, he's just going to move over to another tree for a cookie.]

[intonings]

Keep me out of your weapon fantasies, nerd. Don't tell me who you're riding either.

[ She might be saying that but isn't Zero the one who started this topic to begin with...it didn't click that Haguro might be the name of his familiar. ]

Like hell I'm getting shrunk— [ At that very moment, a wasp stings her forearm. Not the prosthetic one, unfortunately. Zero becomes tiny in a blink of an eye, but it doesn't stop her from shouting: ] Fuck!!!

[ This may be the squeakiest "fuck" Nobunaga has ever heard. ]

[konpeito_aji]

Haguro's my falcon. [Not his familiar, but he can't leave the tiny woman (cyborg?! :O!) to fend off wasps, so he gently scoops her up and makes a dash for it!]

Shit! I was hoping they weren't like that! [RUN RUN RUN!] Unless they're not and fae are just playing tricks again! [OKAY! They're safe.]

[He sets her on a cookie flower, sits next to her... and grabs another cookie to eat.] I can't do siphoning magic, so you'll have to wait for it to wear off. But if you see one coming I can maybe use my magic as a shield. Magic's not really my thing though. I'm more about guns.

[intonings]

[ She can't really complain about Nobunaga carrying her away from the stupid wasps which makes her a bit miffed. Someone being nice to her? Unbelievable. ]

I bet you are into guns. [ Here she goes again. ] If you try anything, I'll rip your finger off.

[ That's her idea of a thank you, apparently. ]

What can you do, then?

[ In terms of magic, that is. ]

[konpeito_aji]

Healing. Magic is for nerds. [Or something. He doesn't actually know what a nerd is still, because she didn't tell him!]

[He's half tempted to try something to bug her, but he genuinely doesn't know of a perverted way to take advantage of this that would entertain him?]

Don't worry, you're not a gun, so I won't be firing you off anytime soon. [Whatever the fuck that means!]

[AND STILL RUNNING. GEEZ THESE WASPS ARE IRRITATING. WHEN ARE THEY GOING TO DECIDE HE'S OUT OF THEIR TERRITORY?!?]

[When he's finally sure he can catch his breath against another tree, he huffs, waiting a bit before continuing, because look, yes he's athletic as hell, but he's still getting on in years, and wearing quite a few pounds of metal!]

And before you ask: no, I can't reverse the curse or whatever the wasps do for magic. That requires siphoning. I tried it on myself when the bees got to me. It does wear off with time though.

[intonings]

[ He'll learn what a nerd is when the time comes and he reaches the last stage of nerdiness. ]

Wish healing could heal stupidity. [ Firing her off? She looks up at him, puzzled by that remark. ] You've got some size kink or what? Go woo a fairy or something.

[ Because that was clearly sexual. What else? ]

Healing really is useless, who would have thought. If any wasps comes near, I'll sting it with this.

[ She holds up her sword which is no bigger than a toothpick now. Good luck, Zero. ]

[konpeito_aji]

A little, my lover is tiny kitsune princess. But not your size. I couldn't even fit then. [Blandly!]

I can protect you from here on out, healing has some shields but... Tch. Who knew your mouth could irritate even insects?

[intonings]

Smaller? [ Of course she has to be an ass about it. ] You're really fucked up, nerd.

[ When she turns away from him, there's a smirk on her lips. ]

What makes you think I need your protection? You can carry me around, though. It's going to take ages to get anywhere. And what makes you so sure that I irritated them? Maybe they don't like your face.

[konpeito_aji]

[He's internally laughing, even if not out loud!] I wouldn't even be able to see her if she was smaller than you. [Not true, but whatever, he's more witty when he's less amused.]

[He sets her on his head and starts climbing a new tree.] Maybe they don't like your existence.

[intonings]

At least you're not one of these guys who say that size doesn't matter.

[ It'll take her a while to realize that she's taking a certain fondness to his weirdness. ]

They need to stand in line, then. A lot of people don't like that. [ A pause. ] What the hell are you doing?!

[ She didn't expect to be taken along, to be honest. ]

[konpeito_aji]

Of course it matters. Tiny is cute, too tiny is like you could crawl inside me, and that's disgusting. [LOGIC!]

Climbing a cookie tree. Make sure you don't fall off.

[intonings]

Like I would crawl up your ass. That's where you should stick your gun.

[ She's going to sticks to her guns regarding this topic. This is the worst pun and it was absolutely intended. ]

Just grab some of these stupid little bitches and stop climbing, dammit!

[ Stupid little bitches being the cookies, of course. ]

Nobunaga keeps calling Gokudera/magic users "nerds" now and no one explains it. I blame Zero

[konpeito_aji]

Nah, but if someone ever makes me an ass-rocket, we'll talk.

Okay! [COOKIE HUNTING!]

i'm glad she contributed to it 🤭

[intonings]

How stupid are you?!

[ Zero's going to get him an ass-rocket one day just so she can watch the fireworks. ]

\o/

[konpeito_aji]

They called me the Fool of Owari my whole childhood.

[He won't ride it, but he might try to convince some other idiot to!]

this...had to be done, i'm sorry

[intonings]

The what? [ She looks genuinely confused. ] Fool of ovaries? That sounds so dumb, what the hell?

[ And inappropriate for a child. ]

ROFL BLESS

[konpeito_aji]

[Oh shit!]

[At first Nobunaga just coughs, then laughs... then falls off from climbing!!!]

[He goes to make sure Zero can't get hurt though! And just lands on his ass, holding his hand up to his head.... and just laughs his ass off.]

[He's dying of laughter!]

[The thing is, he knows she can't possibly understand how wildly impossible that would be! Japan is so rigidly polite, that even calling him a Fool Lord was as insulting as they could think of at first! (Eventually it just became Demon King of the 6th Heaven or Satan) Getting rid of the rigid castes, the enforced subservience just for how he was born was his dream goal, and if anything, being called such a thing would be amazing. Especially given his strained relationship with Gozen: his mother.]

Owari was my father's province. He was soft-hearted idiot who got himself killed, because no one believed he would enforce martial law and we were surrounded by such chaos.

[MORE GIGGLES!!!]

[ALL THE GIGGLES!] They weren't usually even brave enough to call me Idiot Lord to my face and you just-- [HE'S DYING HERE!!!! This is the only thing better than cookies!]

[He gently moves his hand to let her climb on if she wants!]

What's your name?

[intonings]

WHY ARE YOU FALLING!?

[ What Zero expected: this guy to get pissed. What did Zero get? This guy is laughing so hard that he kind of forgets what climbing is about. The least she can do is hold on tight his hair and at least, this once, she succeeds and doesn't fall off him. ]

If he's dead...that makes you the lord of pussy. [ Or ovaries. Whatever. ] What makes you think I'd be scared of calling you an idiot, nerd...

[ Unbelievable. Her luck is the worst, even though this guy could be way more annoying for sure. ]

Zero. I don't have a rich father and I don't own a province. I just own people's things and lives if I feel like it.

[ Don't cut yourself on that edge, Zero. ]