the unsolicited advice meme

[currysseur]

1. Post your character!
2. Other characters come tell them what they think they are doing wrong with their lives.
3. And, in return, go do the same to them. Turnabout is fair play, right?

Comments

[leicesters]

Nice try changing the subject, Aerith, but it's not happening!

How about we think up something that rhymes with "Balthier"?

[inemeraldfaith]

Pretty sure that's going to be difficult. What's your obsession with him? If you like him so much, just talk to him. If you're too nervous, I can talk to him on your behalf.

[leicesters]

AHEM.

[He's just going to literally just ignore everything that Aerith said to recite a poem he thought of on the spot, adopting a higher-pitched voice to sound more like her:]

Oh my wonderful Balthier,
I truly hold you so dear,
All I need is for you to be near,
And it feels like my heart has been pierced by a spear!

[...That escalated quickly.]

[inemeraldfaith]

...

[There's so much she could say. Why are you like this, Claude.]

I don't really sound like that, do I?

[leicesters]

[He mimes being lanced through the chest and clutching it in lovestruck agony. This is wholly inappropriate on a meta level, but at least he finds it funny...?]

[inemeraldfaith]

For your information, I don't recite poetry at him. I don't even know if he likes poetry.

[What really grinds on her at this moment, besides his terrible impression, is that his poem wasn't actually that bad.]

[leicesters]

[He straightens up and grins, finally breaking his terrible appoximation of Aerith.]

No, but you tried to turn the conversation on me by bringing up poetry, so I turned it back on you. You're welcome to use that one if the mood strikes you, though!

[inemeraldfaith]

I did because I don't understand what your fixation is on him. If you have something you need to say to him, just do it. You don't have to use me. If you're thinking he listens to me for some reason, that's totally not how it is. If you want to be friends, just be friends with him!

[. . .
Because that's totally what this is about. She knows better, but she can't exactly admit that publicly.]

[leicesters]

Ohhhh Aerith. Aerith, Aerith, Aerith.

The more you protest and try to change the subject, the more obvious you are!

[inemeraldfaith]

I don't know what you want from me! Maybe if you were more clear. If you just want me to admit that Balthier is a good-looking man, that's fine. He is.

[leicesters]

Aha! So you admit it! [DRAMATIC POINTING, then a laugh]

You would've saved a lot of hassle for yourself if you just said that from the start, you know.

[inemeraldfaith]

[Wh... why is he laughing. What's funny about that.]

I didn't know that's what you wanted. I have eyes. I know Balthier is handsome! I didn't realise it was a big deal.

[leicesters]

It's not, but you were being so coy about it. But since you admit it, good luck!

[inemeraldfaith]

I just didn't think it mattered—Nothing's happening!

[Just in case she needs to reiterate that.]

[leicesters]

Okay, okay. Keep your bow on. I believe you.

[So he says, but he's turning to leave and singing a song under his breath.]

Oh my wonderful Balthier~

[inemeraldfaith]

I can hear that, you know!

[...It's fine. She's a lot nicer than Balthier is. If he hears Claude, he'll have some Strong Words for him.]