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avalaughs2020-12-31 11:53 pm
avalonmods) wrote in avalaughs2020-12-31 11:53 pm
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TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 3
 Premise ⚔️️ Rules ⚔️️ FAQ ⚔️️ Taken ⚔️️ Reserves ⚔️️ Apply ⚔️️ Locations ⚔️️ Bestiary ⚔️️ Top-Levels Only ⚔️️  A ⦿ Soaking in Your Arrival
Regardless of what you were in the middle of, you and your familiar have been magically pulled into the world of Avalon just above the Bay's chilly waters. After a brief plunge into the Bay, the rush of water filling your ears and soaking up into every creak and crevice of your body, you may need to cough to clear your airways when you rise above the surface. It's paralyzingly cold for a few seconds before you're approached by the Lady of the Lake beneath the water's surface. She puts a vial of a vibrant, glowing red Everwarm* potion to your character's lips. The icy water doesn't feel so icy once consumed and you'll be able to move your limbs enough to swim to shore on your own. She can't stick around to explain, she's got to get this to all the new arrivals! Many of which you'll see plopping in around you. If you can't swim, a handful of helpful ice turtles will scoop you up from beneath and drop you off at the shore. When not helping people, the turtles are going around and hitting the ice that keeps forming on the surface with their shells to keep the surface open for the falling arrivals or pushing personal items to the beach near the new arrivals they smell like (belong to). If anyone tries to ask the Lady of the Lake for directions, she will direct you to Archimedes at the Rent-a-Ride. If anyone with Animal Magic asks the turtles, they will give the full spiel, but very slowly, and they like to get off topic and gossip about other turtles you've never heard of. The shores themselves are littered with new arrivals complaining their way up a staircase carved into the walls of the White Cliffs. There is no railing, so be careful, but if you do fall, be prepared for a mysterious sand hand to reach out of the side of the cliffs to catch you. The hand will pat you atop the head twice before retreating back into the wall. This is the Cliff Beast; despite the name, he is quite friendly. B ⦿ The Caravan to Camelot
These carriages use fae technology that combats weight, so your character will be able to get in regardless of whether they're light as a feather or weigh two tons. The carts have air conditioning when it's hot, heating when it's cold, and a mystical shield to protect from bugs. There is also a mini-bar that pops out of the console with nip bottles. Characters can use their smartphones to connect to Camelot's internet service, avalononline (AOL), to chat with other characters, watch dumb videos, learn about the world, contact Camelot Support (they'll answer any questions they can for you, from how to use a smart phone to where to find quests and resources to learn more about your magic). Be careful if you decide to use your phones while in the caravan-- if you don't use those earbuds and start forcing everyone to listen to your nonsense, Archimedes may make you walk.C ⦿ The Red Spring
If you don't want to relax in the room, try taking a dip in the spring for another chance to meet your fellow travelers. The waters have restorative properties that help horses and travelers recover quickly when drunk. It is known to relieve stress, improve energy levels, and mildly accelerate healing. It may be a little chilly when you get out though, so make sure you don't slip rushing back indoors when you get out! The springs are also home to a large training grounds just outside town limits, where there are teachers who will teach basic magic safety and help you discover what kind of magic you have together with other new arrivals. Try target practice, obstacle courses, meditation circles, and other ways to try to figure out just what you can do... if you didn't already have an accidental discovery on the ride there.  Everyone needs a little fun from time to time; the locals have put together the annual Snow Games. As with all things Avalonians plan, magic plays a part in the competition. There will be three separate tiers for characters to enter. Each Tier will have its predetermined track or ring, set up and ready to go. A ⦿ Foot Races
Along the route, racers can expect to run into minor obstacles such as snow bunnies, puddles that can’t be jumped, a flock of snowbirds giving hassle, trees that upend their own roots and move to confuse the pathway. Whatever the interruption, it will come in the form of either a small creature made of magical snow or some minor hindrance to the path. Competitors will have to use magic to overcome these obstacles. Whatever your magic class, find a way. B ⦿ Sled Races
On the path, obstacles will come in the form of wholly washed out portions of the track that need to be reformed using magic to pass. Use elemental magic to flatten rocky areas or wash away debris. Larger creatures such as snow deer and moose congregate in large groups blocking the path, so an animal magic user could be useful for asking them to move... someone with cognitive magic could try their hand at a little hypnotizing a fellow newcomer with big muscles to move fallen logs for them. Healing mages could easily use buffers to support their fellow magicians with temporarily increased speed or strength. Use light magic to sneak past living obstacles, or dark users can cast a love enchantment and make a love match between two moose even though it's far from spring. There are tons more creative uses of magic to help you get through the obstacles on the sled's pathway. Find a creative way to use magic and get through the obstacle; make sure you are faster than the other guy. C ⦿ Snow Chicken
Just... be wary, these friendly yeti are surprisingly big on hugging as a form of congratulations. It's much more challenging to escape from a yeti's embrace than it is to knock one over.  Trumpets hail an announcement by the town crier in front of the castle. More than a few people pull out their phones to record it and post it to the AOL network for all to see. "Hear ye, hear ye! Our noblest of lords, King Arthur of Camelot, will host a tournament on this January the 20th on castle grounds. All are welcome to participate in competitions to determine those most skilled in both the physical and magical arts. In preparation for the upcoming tournament, we are sending envoys to Celliwig. In Celliwig lies the Magic Mirror of the South, gifted to Camelot by the Fae, and a means to communicate with their royal court at will. It is a vastly important task in your journey to become magicians and to show your good will toward the fairies. Parts of the mirror's frame have been damaged. We will need those brave of soul and pure of heart to retrieve the crystals needed to repair the mirror. Those interested, the party leaves at dawn." A ⦿ Brave of Soul
B ⦿ Pure of Heart
"The pure of heart will form the bridge with a leap of faith." Since everyone has gone as a group, it will be possible to see others walking over the water once one person figures it out. Though the clue may seem challenging, it is quite straight-forward. Characters who are pure of heart will find that if they believe in themselves, they will be able to step off the bridge and hardlight will form beneath their feet to allow them to step over the water. Those with ill intentions or those who are willing to harm others to get their way will slip into the rapid waters and may need to be saved by other characters. At least you're off the bridge, so magic will work to that end. C ⦿ Celliwig, the Splendored Court
The party is led to a hall at the center of the city-- the hall of mirrors. Those who have succeeded in obtaining crystals need to bring them and set them on a table placed before a mirror at the end of the hall, which appears to have a number of empty settings. It's unclear what happened to the mirror previously, but now it's necessary to restore it to garner the favor of the fae. Once crystals have been delivered, people will be free to explore the quiet city, but it seems most of the city is closing shop while the visitors are around. There is a restaurant that will serve visitors food, though all of the dishes are of the molecular gastronomy variety. Alcoholic drinks seem to come in vapor form and flashes of light if ordered, but seem effective nonetheless. The local general store seems to be willing to sell supplies to weary travelers as well, but that's about it. ...That said the inn doesn't seem particularly keen on allowing visitors in strangely, so you're either going to be sleeping on the iridescent streets or camping just outside the city if you prefer the soft grass and the darkness of night. Just be aware, if you leave, you won't be able to get back into this mysterious city so easily. MOD NOTES: • All test drive prompts are open to anyone in the game at any time to create your own logs with, but this post should have top-levels by potential new characters only. Current characters may reply to any threads, but should not top-level comment on this post. • If your application is accepted, you may accept TDM threads as game canon as long as both players consent. Characters may begin threading as soon as their journal is accepted to the communities. • If nothing here tickles your fancy, try one of this month's Quests for your TDM prompt. • Note that the third prompt in this TDM will have consequences on the game's progression. After the application round, a poll will be put up to see how many characters who are in the game, both new and old, are able to obtain the crystals from the Brave of Soul and Pure of Heart prompts. • The first "Arrival" prompts are present on every TDM, but may contain seasonal tweaks for flavor. All other prompts will change monthly. • Questions about this TDM's content? Comment here! If you have a question about the game at-large, please head over to the FAQ. *This Everwarm does not count toward your potion collection for those who wish to take up potion brewing. You must obtain Everwarm from the Elphame Trader's to count. **Jackets come in a variety of neutral colors, enchanted with a fit-adjustment spell that will adjust to your character's size. |
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No, no, he needs to calm down. He briefly closes his eyes and takes a deep breath to give Riou a report of what actually happened.]
I saw three people. Humanoid, but I'm not sure if they were human. They moved very fast. They were either dressed in black, or...
[He struggles a little to find the right words.]
Or they were shadows.
[Okay, now that just sounded ridiculous, didn't it? Also how come he didn't notice Kondou in the group of volunteers earlier? The man is pretty loud and sociable; surely he would have been chatting away with someone... but then there's no telling if separate groups and individuals didn't make their way to the cave independently of the trek Hijikata was part of.]
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[ He's trying to decide if he can build a makeshift explosive and toss it in or if the targets are too close to the hostage for that. He doesn't have night vision goggles, so sniping the targets is not an answer in a dark cave. If the hostage is not clear, the best option may be to invoke his familiar, a nocturnal face-sucking flying squirrel called a Nobusuma, but he isn't sure in its efficiency.
Worst case scenario, he goes in and takes all three of them out in hand-to-hand, but it's not the most effective in the dark. He is completely dismissing the need for Hijikata's involvement in this beyond securing the hostage once Riou's taken care of all of the targets himself. This is simply what he's used to. ]
1/2
They had swords.
[As they draw closer to the site of the attack he listens carefully, but there's no sound to be heard. His heart jumps in his chest when he sees Kondou's still body on the ground, seemingly left behind by the assassins. Even though his first impulse should be to rush to his side and check his status he once more freezes right where he's standing, the visuals of the attack flashing through his mind. Those stabs were perfectly aimed and executed... whoever sent those guys should be proud of them. Hijikata feels sick again. Kondou is too still - no groaning, no rise and fall of his chest -, and he can't face the confirmation of his fears.]
2/2
Before he or Riou can say anything an effect like a time lapse kicks in, making the men move around in rapid, choppy motions. Hijikata dumbfoundedly looks on as some of them raid a meeting of anti-shogunate conspirators in one corner of the cave while others get entangled in a battle against a group of lynx-like Amanto in the opposite direction. This clearly isn't really happening... is it a premonition? Before he can come to a conclusion the time lapse stops, and the more remote scenarios fade back into darkness as the men gather to approach him.]
Commander, we can't keep doing this anymore! We had two fatalities again on yesterday's escort mission, and for what? The government doesn't care--
[Finally Hijikata snaps out of his stupor to bark at the division leader.]
Stop whining! We're going to continue doing our duty as always. Is this how you honour Kondou-san's legacy?
[The men mutter and mumble, avoiding his gaze. They look tired and unhappy, from the captains down to the rank-and-file members. Hijikata continues in a harsh voice, seemingly having forgotten about Riou for the moment from rapidly getting engulfed in the situation.]
Pull yourselves together, and remember our code! Deserters will commit seppuku or face execution!
[Reluctantly the soldiers disperse, seeing that they can't argue with their leader. A tall man with voluminous ginger hair - Saitou, captain of the third division and unofficial executioner of the Shinsengumi (
you know your workplace needs an HR department if this is a filled position)- closes his eyes, knowing that he'll likely have to kill many of his comrades in the near future... if Okita, who is glowering at Hijikata from the shadows, doesn't assassinate or usurp the incompetent commander first.Hijikata isn't really looking good here. He's confronting his men alright, but he's completely shutting out the underlying issues: his uncertainties and shortcomings, the poorly processed grief over their collective losses, and the fact that he needs help from his subordinates with those things. Poor Riou not only hardly got a word in during all this, but now he has to watch Hijikata's eyes fall shut as he starts dissolving into nothing. He'll find him back outside if he goes looking. This is going to be a tough one... maybe they ought to tackle Riou's fears first? But then who knows how bad those will be.]
cw: PTSD, weapons/explosives, paranoia, mentions of war/killing/hunting
He does attempt to reach for Hijikata when he realizes the other man is disappearing, to attempt to.. he doesn't know, pull him away from whatever is going on. It's particularly like a strange hallucination when he fails and the entire scene disappears.
Silence fills the cave and Riou finds himself especially on guard. He's experienced visual experiences before, usually while under attack from rap, but none of them seemed quite so real and none of them seemed to ask for his help. He also never had no real defense against them. Riou places his dog tag between his lips, a calming habit, and wakes up the small creature hiding in one of his large cargo pockets. ]
Nobusuma, scout behind us to make certain there is no ambush coming.
[ If Hijikata was an illusion, this could very well have been an attempt to lure him here by an enemy. The smartest thing an enemy could do would be to surround him and trap him in a small enclosed, dark area to limit both his vision and movement capabilities. This is a trap. He takes out his device to call for reinforcements, but it seems that there is no signal, so it is impossible to call Jyuto or Samatoki. (Or at the very least, it appears there isn't.) He is on his own.
He isn't afraid of the dark. He isn't afraid of being on his own. He's capable-- a soldier, a survivor. He can handle anything coming his way. Jyuto had called him a one-man platoon and it was not an inaccurate assessment. As the nobusuma makes its way back out of the cave and, incidentally, toward Hijikata, Riou considers which weapon would be the best in this scenario. He cannot locate a particular enemy, which means that his Hypnosis Microphone is not likely to be an effective tool. You can't affect a nervous system you can't see to direct a weapon at. (And he hasn't even realized that he doesn't have access to any of the weapon's special abilities beyond causing physical pain that he normally does.) His gun only has rubber bullets. Without determining the size of the enemy, he cannot build a trap. It wouldn't be effective. There don't seem to be any animals around to ask to spy for him to find the enemy ahead of time. He needs night vision, but doesn't have any of his equipment.
Riou takes some materials out of his pocket that he knows he can build a flash bomb with, in the dark because he's done it so many times. Stunning the enemy while covering his own eyes will allow him a moment to gain the upper hand. There's a sound in the corner before he can get anywhere, like a twig snapping, and Riou immediately turns toward it and runs to find cover behind an outcropped rock in the cave. There's nothing there. They're too good.
He continues his flash bomb. He smells gunpowder though. Too familiar. Sweat. His hands are shaking. He hears yelling, but it's not from the cave. Riou takes care of himself, takes care to keep to himself, survives in the forest and his personality and reactions to scenarios aren't what would be considered acceptable in many aspects of society. He keeps to himself, and that keeps him out of trouble. It keeps him from triggering memories of times he'd nearly made a fatal mistake, or felt his life slipping through his fingers. He's strong, but even the strongest men cannot escape the unseen effects of war. He's strong, but even after the war, he found his camp under attack by those who wished to take from him-- his microphone was valuable, people were coming for him. He could trust no one. The only people he could trust were Samatoki and Jyuto, and they were unreachable. Everyone else could be an enemy.
Riou's hand tenses over the makeshift explosion he's building, shaking enough that he has to set it down for a second before he accidentally sets it off in his own face. Calm down. Calm down. Calm down. Memories of some of his earlier experiences as a soldier, back when he was still fresh, when he made mistakes, when people he knew were killed in front of him and there was nothing he could do.
In order to maintain permanent peace for civilians, dirty work must be done. What we are touting as justice will not net us praise. You and I only just classify as people.
When he killed people. When he engaged in enhanced interrogation techniques. He was fighting terrorists, fighting insurgents, fighting bad people and to be stronger than them, he had to engage in actions none would condone of. You cannot beat an enemy without being more merciless than they are.
No one started off merciless, and Riou's all but sectioned off the soft parts of himself to reserve for friends and family, being kind to others. He kills. Even after the war, he killed animals, butchered them himself. He fought Jyuto's enemies in the police, brought them to their knees to be arrested by means that weren't condoned by the Party of Words. Riou was a war machine, but he couldn't erase the parts of himself that weren't.
There would always be enemies. He would see them around every corner. He could never be safe. Without Mad Trigger Crew, his life was only ever survival anymore. What did he have to do to survive now? How could he fight an enemy he could not see? He needed to calm down. He needed his hands to stop shaking. He needed to finish this bomb before it was too late. Before someone got hurt, before he got hurt, before he died for nothing because there was no cause here- this wasn't his war he was fighting, and he was only okay with dying if it was for a cause worth fighting for. He couldn't die here. He couldn't tell the difference between friends and enemies right now. Anyone could be an enemy.
Everyone was an enemy.
The nobusuma makes it back to Hijikata, slapping his cheek to try to get him to come back and assist Riou. There was obviously something off in that cave and off with Riou.
If Hijikata does come back in after him, Riou will lose control of himself and attack Hijikata. The cave has played up his biggest fear-- himself losing control of his paranoia and attacking someone who doesn't deserve it after being paralyzed from his own inability to act before it counts, sounds and flashbacks playing up any time he starts to get ahold of himself, triggering something inside of him that puts him in fight-or-flight and Riou has long since eliminated flight as an option. ]
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Again?!
[What the hell is going on?! Is this a dream-within-a-dream situation? Did someone knock him out from behind when he was staring at his commander impaled by swords, and then he dreamed that he was back outside and met Riou, and he's still dreaming now? His head doesn't hurt, but if this is a dream it doesn't have to, right? However the people he came here with are still around, some sitting or standing there in visible distress or consoling each other, a few showing off crystals they found while yet others appear to be discussing strategies... it all feels very real.
While he stares at his surroundings, trying to figure out how to proceed, the nobusuma pulls at his sleeve with a strong sense of urgency, trying to communicate its need for assistance in any way possible, chirping and running back and forth between him and the direction of the cave several times before he finally focuses on it.]
Who're you? Someone's familiar?
[Why is it bothering him-- Riou. Oh shit. Hijikata has no idea how he ended up outside for the second time, but a hasty look around confirms that Riou may still be in there. Crap!! He jumps up and runs back into the cave for the third time, but at the very least he's calmer now. What he last saw in there was very upsetting, but it clearly wasn't happening in reality. There's just no way that so many Shinsengumi men are here and he didn't see any of them outside, not to mention the unnaturally accelerated pace of everything. What's more, this is Avalon, not Edo, and even if whole locations could be transported over here, his men wouldn't go carry out random raids if they were all here for the cave quest like everyone else. So there's ultimately only one explanation: everything he experienced - including, he prays, Kondou's death - was the cave quest. None of his men are here, nor is his commander. It's just him. Well, him and Riou.]
Riou?! Where are you?
[Even though a whole bunch of adventurers entered the cave by now it's shockingly easy to get lost in the darkness. Somehow he and Riou managed to find the place where Hijikata saw Kondou get attacked again, but Hijikata would second-guess his ability to tread the same path a third time if the nobusuma weren't leading the way without hesitation.
He had no time to find out if Riou remembers Prismatica - most familiar people he met on Avalon so far did not -, but back on that crystallised world a big reason Hijikata always felt so comfortable around the other man was that Riou accepted him, because he understood. All the ugly, dirty, unforgivable parts of the Shinsengumi's work - the bloodshed, the interrogations, the black operations - are much like a soldier's at war, after all. So if Hijikata knew what Riou is going through right now... well, he wouldn't know what to do, what to say. He's not like Kondou, after all. Somehow Kondou always manages to make him and the other men feel human again, like they still deserve to laugh and smile and feel happy. But Hijikata has no idea how he does it. Still, at the very least he would understand Riou. He continues to follow the nobusuma and sporadically call out, not knowing that he's about to get a very bright welcome.]
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The small, squirrel-esque creature leads the way as quickly as possible without losing the Shinsengumi, but even it can't predict the extent of Riou's... extra intensity in response to danger, even self-perceived.
The only warning is a small clank as the improvised flash grenade is tossed into the room, Hijikata's footsteps havng signaled him that an enemy is coming. In the next seconds, Riou is going to wrestle him to the ground in an attempt to use the flash to place his forearm against his throat to subdue him, his perceived enemy. ]
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Riou, it's okay. It's just me.
[He doesn't know what Riou has seen while he was gone, if anything - maybe he was just expecting one of the assailants Hijikata told him about earlier -, but he has a bad feeling. This goddamn cave clearly has a thing for worst-case scenarios, and whatever that may mean for Riou, Hijikata is kicking himself for leaving him behind... not that he had a choice in the matter, but even so.]
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This isn't an enemy. Which just leaves the question of what he is because he's a Japanese man, and yet calls Riou's first name with a familiarity that the soldier doesn't understand. Hijikata knew his name before they ever entered the cave, and on top of all of the fear and trauma and paranoia he's feeling right now, that is the thing fueling his suspicions most after the clear flags that Hijikata is not a threat.
Riou keeps his forearm against his throat, but doesn't press further or let up. ]
Who are you?
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When he asks his question Hijikata realises what his gut feeling already told him when he first ran into him: he doesn't remember. It hurts more than he thought it would, especially after he more or less took it in stride with his fellow Edo citizens Kamui and Tsukuyo - even though the latter was a regular moonlacing partner on Prismatica. He doesn't want to think about why it's different with Riou. He doesn't know what happened - if Riou was taken from an earlier point in his timeline, or if his series' copyright holders discovered that he was part of an unlicensed crossover and gave him a reset, or whatever else -, the bottom line is that it's not Riou's fault or anybody else's, and there's nothing anyone can do about it.
Despite processing all this he still manages to give a timely answer, sounding just a little strained from the arm keeping his throat locked in place. Luckily spontaneous bullshitting is a talent of his.]
I'm just a fan of yours... I mean, of MTC's. My name is T-Toshirou.
[Did he fucking stutter just now?! Wow, this time he seriously is making a shitty first impression! But damn it, he's been calling Riou by his given name from the start, and they got along so well, and now they're functionally strangers, so even if it's selfish and probably kind of sketchy, he wants to at least pretend that they're a little closer than that. He usually never asks anyone to call him by his given name, so he's nervous even though it's objectively not that weird. But Riou will probably ascribe his nervosity to the fact that he has him pinned to the ground in a dark cave full of mindfuck magic.]
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He sits up, removing his elbow before getting off fully so no weight is pressed against Hijikata's next. ]
You should know that following a soldier into a cave is a mistake, Toshirou.
[ Somehow, it seems genuine in some way that he's a fan, even if not everything adds up on account of.. well, the scene that he saw before with what seemed like it might be shinsengumi of some kind. But the fact that he knows what MTC is.. Riou holds a hand out to him to help him up. Not everyone is out to get him. It's fine. This is okay.
Riou has passed his part, but the crystal doesn't show. Hijikata needs another go. ]
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[If he's sounding argumentative and defensive he's barely noticing. Damn it, this sucks. He just saw a vision of his personal worst timeline, and he lost a friend - not the person, but the connection. He wants a drink, or at least a smoke. He takes Riou's hand and lets him help him up, but as far as he's concerned they're done here. Neither of them did anything to deserve having to deal with this damn cave any further. He starts to head in the direction of the exit (or where he thinks the exit is). Screw those crystals; the others can collect them.
He won't be moping around indefinitely; soon enough he'll pony up and deal with the reality of the situation. He's not a quitter, and if something goes wrong he may waver, but then he'll work to set things right. However for now he's badly shaken up and kind of gutted, unable to summon the hope and confidence he'd need to progress here. Still, he should at least make properly sure Riou is okay... he turns back to wait for him.]
Did anything happen while I was gone?
[There was nobody else around when Riou flash-bombed him, not that he could tell at least, no vision of a battlefield or anything of the like, so he still isn't sure if Riou was simply sharply on guard - this man did rig a whole greenhouse up into a bunker - or if his fears manifested in a different way than Hijikata's.]
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[ Riou answers simply, not intent to share. Moreso if this is a fan than anything else, he cannot show weakness. His fans do not have any interest in addressing the struggles of former soldiers. The mental health of Veterans is likely the exact opposite of any part of Chuuoku's agenda, considering they blame men for all war (despite acting just as cruelly by means other than physical violence, but that's neither here nor there). ]
I believe this cave forces people to deal with their personal demons.
[ Riou's paranoia, a reason he stays away from others back home, stays outdoors, stays where no one can sneak up on him or invade his territory, had cropped up. It's still a part of him. Overcoming it now didn't mean it would ever be gone, but at the very least he's found the strength to move forward and not assume every person is out to get him for now.
He's still mildly suspicious of Hijikata, but not to the extent of accidentally hurting him because of it.
His assessment isn't wholly correct, but it's close enough to the truth that it's functional. ]
I have no intention of leaving until the mission is complete.
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...
[What would Kondou do? Hijikata needs to ask himself that anyway, because clearly he won't be able to take care of their men with him gone - not as he is right now, anyway. Of course he has a rough idea, thinking of what Kondou does whenever some of the men are badly shaken up after a nasty raid or somesuch, but... it really, really doesn't come naturally to Hijikata. He's the vice-commander for a reason: he does what the commander cannot. Kondou will motivate the men, put a warm hand on their shoulders, remind them of what harm they prevented by dealing with those terrorists, or whatever the case may be; Hijikata will ensure discipline and adherence to the code, order deserters executed, and torture prisoners who won't cooperate with the standard interrogations.
Still, he has to try, doesn't he?
He stops walking, takes a deep breath, turns back to Riou and puts his arms around him (careful to not move too suddenly or quickly). He's so nervous he almost feels sick, as if being pushed away would be worse than getting skewered in an ambush, and doesn't move his arms much, just lightly stroking Riou's back.]
Never mind the mission. Well, scratch that; I know you'll mind it anyway. But are you okay?
[This was probably another shitty move in a row of shitty moves. Riou doesn't know him, so how the hell could he feel better from this?! If anything he must be even more weirded out now!! Hijikata is doing his utmost to try and instill some comfort in him, but he's probably too nervous and stressed himself (not to mention he never hugs anyone and in fact hisses and complains when Kondou does it to him), and despite his best efforts this may just come across as a groupie's opportunistic attempt to steal a hug from his idol with abysmally bad tact and timing.]
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Instead, Riou will focus on shutting down what's going on with him and focusing on the mission ahead of him now that Hijikata has done him the favor of snapping him out of it. Fan or not, he's a fan who's resourceful and willing to fight for the man he stans. He's got a positive image with Riou. Or at least he does until the frankly confusing physical contact. He tenses, but at least the other has gotten out of perceived enemy territory so he doesn't immediately get grappled to the ground. Walls up, Riou pats his head with a stern face, pointedly not hugging back. ]
I am fine. We need to deal with what it was you saw. Who were those people surrounding the fallen one?
[ After the brief pat, an attempt to comfort Hijikata, his apparent fan who is just positively distraught right now, he goes about removing the other man's arms from him. They need to focus. ]
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Getting patted on the head... it's objectively a kind gesture, yet Hijikata can't help but feel mortified. Receiving that sort of distinctly platonic comfort from someone towards whom he holds different feelings (which, of course, is ridiculous and embarrassing to begin with; who feels that way about being put through moon-induced heat and rut phases like animals?!) cools him down. No matter how hard he tries, Riou won't remember that he trusted him. He'll have to re-earn his trust. Maybe if he succeeds they can have a normal, friendly relationship this time around... maybe.
He processes Riou's words with a little delay and steps back, giving him his personal space back. After a moment of thinking about his options he responds in a less emotional voice than before.]
Those were my men. Our commander fell, so I... I succeeded him. I'm the vice-commander.
[Ugh, a fine vice-commander he makes right now, and a far worse commander in the future vision. But his voice grows all the more firm as he continues.]
I'm aborting the mission. Those crystals aren't worth seeing my men like that.
[He isn't a quitter, he really isn't. But this cave is too cruel. Even if he went back into its depths to relive the situation again and somehow came out of top of it, he'd end up filled with resentment for the crystal, the mirror and the people who put them up to this quest. Right now he just wants to put as much distance as possible between himself and all that. He won't forget about it, though, and he does plan to revisit it.]
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One day, it will be your duty to face your men like that as Vice-Commander, whether it is for a good reason or what you view as a failure. You do not get to choose which of those it is. A soldier does not balk because of emotions; he soldiers on.
[ It may not be real; it does not seem that way to Riou now, though it felt very real then, when it was his delusion that Hijikata pulled him out of. This is his way of attempting to help Hijikata find the way forward. Courage is not the absence of fear or pain, it is the willingness to step forward in spite of it. He needs Hijikata to keep moving forward. ]
Our mission now is to obtain crystals, and the only way forward is that way. I do not accept emotion as a reason to abort any mission you have accepted. Face your men, Vice Commander Toshirou. I will be here to offer support.
[ Well, Riou isn't the most emotionally supportive person, but he's good in a fight. ]
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As if you could support me here. Neither of us can give my men their commander back. You think I wouldn't go back to them if I had anything to offer them? I'm not cut out for the position, and nobody else among them is either. We stand and fall with our commander, and he has fallen. I'll face my men as vice-commander any day, but not as commander. You're not a leader, Riou, are you? For a soldier the worst thing may be to fail a mission, but for a leader the worst thing is to fail his men. If your commander fell and you misled his men as his successor, what would you do?
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Commander Iojaku was placed in a special Chuuoku prison for our attempts to defend the former Japanese government from the new regime. I have been approached by my former unit because they believed I was necessary to engage in a coup. I declined. The chances of successfully extracting our commander are higher with Mad Trigger Crew. Those soldiers entrust me with their goal, as we have proven ourselves stronger and better positioned to strike if we do so intelligently. We stand with our own two feet, Toshirou, and with those we choose to stand by.
[ Furthermore, he's absolutely back to having questions about Hijikata's identity. How can he be a Vice Commander of a country that will not put men in charge of anything outside of territories? He cannot be from Riou's world, which begs the question how he has become a fan of Mad Trigger Crew. There is something questionable here still, but Riou can already tell he's going to have to be more subtle about this investigation. He's going to need to follow him home one day to find his living space and bug it so that he can find more information.
He doesn't bring that up now though- they have a mission to complete, and Hijikata needs to know that he is doing exactly what he has to do: soldiering on. ]
I act with the will and faith of my men every day, beyond dismissal. Your men need you; if your men are not worth fighting for to you, then you are right: you cannot stand with your own two feet!
[ Maybe not all of them because quite a few have fallen wayside with the heels of Chuuoku dug into their backs, but those who still wish to fight look to Mad Trigger Crew and Riou. He does not have the title of Vice Commander and he may be very good at following orders, but Hijikata is thinking weakmindedly. He would not survive a rap battle. ]
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...
[God, he really knows nothing about Riou, does he? He only felt close to him because Riou was pleasantly quiet and calm and he became attracted to him. It's even more humiliating than everything else so far to let that sink in. And yet Riou shared this very sensitive information with him just now. He doesn't know it yet, but back in his world a painfully similar situation - a new government, their futile attempts to protect the old shogun, his commander's arrest and death sentence - will be waiting for him.]
...
Forgive me if you can. I was out of line.
[Hijikata's will is strong as long as he has Kondou to follow. But without him he doesn't know what to do. This is perhaps the greatest flaw of the Shinsengumi: it's entirely made up of men who were drawn to its leader. Without him they'll disperse like moths when the light goes out. Serving the shogunate and living as samurai was always Kondou's dream, but should he, hypothetically, decide to change careers to whatever else, he'd be taking the entire force with him. Their loyalty to the shogun was always secondary to their loyalty to their leader. That is the fragile card house of power in Hijikata's Edo.]
My men are worth fighting for, but I don't know what all of us are fighting for anymore if we can't be with Kondou-san.
[He braces for Riou's criticism. What kind of organisation is the Shinsengumi, really, to put what basically amounts to cult of personality over the needs of its government? Well, the government is a puppet theatre, and the strings are pulled by the Amanto. They all knew that going in.]
My world lost an interstellar war. We're a subjugated planet. Those still fighting for freedom are the enemies of my Shinsengumi, because our job is the preservation of order.
[If Riou's and Hijikata's Japans were equated the Shinsengumi would, as a matter of fact, be the attack dogs of Chuuoku. Back on Prismatica they never talked about politics, and for the better. It's a bitter pill to swallow.]
There's no going back. The Amanto are here to stay. We have to learn to live together. If we keep things in balance, help the people regardless of origin, then we'll be fulfilling our purpose. That's all we can do. It's just hard without him.
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Riou draws on a man that he finds much inspiration from at a time like this, though not without a brief moment of reaching up to fiddle with, then place his dogtag between his lips in thought. ]
"I submit to you that if a man hasn't discovered something that he will die for, he isn't fit to live." A man named Martin Luther King Jr. said that. If you do not know what you are fighting for, then you'll need time to find it. For now, you fight for your men.
[ He doesn't address the need for forgiveness or apology. It's accepted. Riou isn't one to hold grudges, even if he is one to log away information about someone and suspect him of lying. He had just managed to get past this paranoia though, so he tries to keep it down inside of him and face forward.
He claps Hijikata on the shoulder with one hand, then once on the back to push him forward. ]
You can do this. If you do not fight for freedom or for your government, you fight for them until you find a new cause.