avalaughs | TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 2

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TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 2

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A ⦿ Soaking in Your Arrival

KERPLUNK, SPLASH!

Regardless of what you were in the middle of, you and your familiar have been magically pulled into the world of Avalon just above the Bay's chilly waters. After a brief plunge into the Bay, the rush of water filling your ears and soaking up into every creak and crevice of your body, you may need to cough to clear your airways when you rise above the surface. It's paralyzingly cold for a few seconds before you're approached by the Lady of the Lake beneath the water's surface. She puts a vial of a vibrant, glowing red Everwarm* potion to your character's lips. The icy water doesn't feel so icy once consumed and you'll be able to move your limbs enough to swim to shore on your own. She can't stick around to explain, she's got to get this to all the new arrivals! Many of which you'll see plopping in around you.

If you can't swim, a handful of helpful ice turtles will scoop you up from beneath and drop you off at the shore. When not helping people, the turtles are going around and hitting the ice that keeps forming on the surface with their shells to keep the surface open for the falling arrivals or pushing personal items to the beach near the new arrivals they smell like (belong to). If anyone tries to ask the Lady of the Lake for directions, she will direct you to Archimedes at the Rent-a-Ride. If anyone with Animal Magic asks the turtles, they will give the full spiel, but very slowly, and they like to get off topic and gossip about other turtles you've never heard of. The shores themselves are littered with new arrivals complaining their way up a staircase carved into the walls of the White Cliffs. There is no railing, so be careful, but if you do fall, be prepared for a mysterious sand hand to reach out of the side of the cliffs to catch you. The hand will pat you atop the head twice before retreating back into the wall. This is the Cliff Beast; despite the name, he is quite friendly.

B ⦿ The Caravan to Camelot

Once everyone is wrangled up to the top of the White Cliffs, the handsome owner of the Rent-a-Ride, Archimedes, will distribute smart phones, a pair of earbuds, and a winter cloak** to everyone before getting them settled in groups into modernized carriages pulled by horses and give them a basic explanation of why and how they've been brought to Avalon: The universe is frozen in time and your character has been brought here by a familiar that was able to bond with them. They'll have to learn magic to help save their own world from destruction, but first they've got to get them to Camelot. It is here that you have the first opportunity to decide who they will be in their new home. You'll have about an hour to wander around here, meet and greet, and pet the horses before it's time to go.

These carriages use fae technology that combats weight, so your character will be able to get in regardless of whether they're light as a feather or weigh two tons. The carts have air conditioning when it's hot, heating when it's cold, and a mystical shield to protect from bugs. There is also a mini-bar that pops out of the console with nip bottles. Characters can use their smartphones to connect to Camelot's internet service,

avalononline (AOL), to chat with other characters, watch dumb videos, learn about the world, contact Camelot Support (they'll answer any questions they can for you, from how to use a smart phone to where to find quests and resources to learn more about your magic). Be careful if you decide to use your phones while in the caravan-- if you don't use those earbuds and start forcing everyone to listen to your nonsense, Archimedes may make you walk.

C ⦿ The Red Spring

The journey from the White Cliffs to the City of Camelot is a long one, and the first evening you arrive you'll end up spending at the Red Spring, a booming resort town. Because of the volume of new arrivals and vacationers, inn rooms are assigned two-to-a-room. The rooms have two twin beds, a bathroom, a mini-fridge and microwave, and a TV equipped with a couple of entertaining video games and a few free movies.

If you don't want to relax in the room, try taking a dip in the spring for another chance to meet your fellow travelers. The waters have restorative properties that help horses and travelers recover quickly when drunk. It is known to relieve stress, improve energy levels, and mildly accelerate healing. It may be a little chilly when you get out though, so make sure you don't slip rushing back indoors when you get out!

The springs are also home to a large training grounds just outside town limits, where there are teachers who will teach basic magic safety and help you discover what kind of magic you have together with other new arrivals. Try target practice, obstacle courses, meditation circles, and other ways to try to figure out just what you can do... if you didn't already have an accidental discovery on the ride there.

A ⦿ Trial and Icy Errors

Winter has arrived in Avalon, and with it has come to a change in the weather. Puffs of breath precede sentences when outside, small fires fill braziers to allow people to stop and get warm for a moment between where they come from and where they are going. Snow has begun to fall; at first, it is the same, fluffy, white flakes many adventurers will have seen. However, as the day progresses, the snow begins to shimmer; it’s like a prismatic effect, a magical light catching against every little crystal and illuminating sparkling flakes, so vibrant it’s clear someone has enchanted the snow.

Shortly after the change, there will be a text alert to all devices:

Tired of the same old routine with your magic? Ready for a little something new? Come on out and have an old fashioned snowball fight with a magical twist. Be sure to practice your new powers and have fun! 😉 -Merlin

Those who come outside to find the rainbow snow already being packed into neat balls by Camelot's citizens; go ahead and grab a basket full but remember, don’t just toss them. Let’s get magic with it!

Different types of magic will have different effects on the enchanted snow:

Use kinetic magic to toss three at once. Nevermind if they suddenly balloon inside and burst into a snow shower over your opponent, throw a couple more; some are bound to hit, right?

Throw a little animal magic in there and morph a few into a bear or some other animal of your intent; sorry about his random dance attack, at least your opponent will be laughing too hard to throw a snowball at you.

Try hiding them in a shield or cast an illusion with some light magic; better apologize when that goes sideways and the snow hardens, bursting into rainbow crystals at your opponent's feet.

Team up with someone who has cognitive magic; they can telegraph you the plan without your opponents being any the wiser... except the snow seems to be picking up on it and sending those thoughts right to your opponent! Perhaps use this as an opportunity to learn control!

Maybe you want to try using a little wind magic if you’re of the elemental class; watch out for the rainbow snow squall your perfectly lobbed snowballs will become.

Healing magic is one you might not see coming-- enchanting a snowball with healing magic can result in positive mood enhancements. Give your enemies a blast of zen to lower their guard and make them an easy target!

A dark magic user might think to add a little hex to their snowball; give themselves an edge... too bad, without practice, that hex might be a little too heavy and burst over the maker before it even leaves their hand! Hope you know how to fix it.

Alchemists are welcome to change the shape of those snowballs. Maybe try and craft them into something a little more stealthy or projectile. Too bad that snow seems to want to turn into a batch of butterflies and be free... magic sure is tricky! But hey, they sure are pretty.

In the end, it seems while adventurers will be able to get plenty of practice in, some of that practice is going to come from trying to stop the side effects of mixing their powers with the magic snow; welcome to your first lesson in control. If one is going to use magic in conjunction with already magically imbued things, they ought to know the right amount, seems Merlin wants you all to learn in a trial by snowball error.

Those who practice their magic and participate in the snowball fight will be given hot chocolate, warm soup, fresh baked goods, or other treats to warm them up after their training is done. But don’t slack off! You’re like to find your hot chocolate spiced with pickle flavor, that warm treat suddenly turns to ice cream in your mouth. Avalonians want that practice to happen, and are willing to add some incentive... whether that means the carrot or the icicle.

All throughout the City of Camelot is a buzz of excitement about the oncoming winter solstice on the 21st. Citizens will tell you of the winter solstice's importance in cleansing the flow of Avalon's magic each year and absorbing sunlight to increase its potency. In other words, the winter solstice generates a significant amount of magic if the proper ritual is followed, so the visitors from other worlds really should head on over to Albion's White Cliffs.

A ⦿ The Darkness in the White Cliffs

The first task that you'll experience during the ritual is asking the Cliff Beast's permission to enter the cliffs. Though they look wholly solid on the outside, these cliffs contain a veritable labyrinth of magical caves that weave in and out of the chalky cliffs. As there is danger within these walls, it is recommended no one go alone. The Cliff Beast will only open a door to the caves for parties of two or more who present him with a gift. The gift doesn't need to be something significant, just a show of courtesy-- a lovely rock or a seashell will do, placed at the base of the cliff. The only gifts he will outright reject are precious gems and metals. Honestly, they make him a little nauseous-- and you don't want to see a cliff beast nauseous. In fact, if you try it, the Cliff Beast will suddenly burst into a rockslide right near where the gem was left. Watch out!

Once you gain entrance, you will find there is no light within the caves and the door seems to close behind you. Non-magical lights won't illuminate anything within these caves, so you will need to either navigate through the darkness or find a magical means to light your path. Be wary-- traveling in the dark will be a much safer journey if you can find your way through the caves and keep track of your companions. The reason there is no light are the bat-like creatures that eat energy like fire and electricity. With the magical light attracting them and nothing to consume, they'll be very aggressive and swarm anything emitting heat.. like an unsuspecting traveler. Make too much noise, and the Cliff Beast will spit you out back onto the sand and you'll have to start over.

B ⦿ "For a greedy man, even his tomb is too small."

Those who persist within the caves will eventually come upon a room whose ceiling glistens with bioluminiscent microbes that are too small for the bats to eat. These little glowing creatures create reflections in the room that show just what it contains-- glimmerings of precious gems, gold, and other treasure cover the walls and floor, save for a large flat stone altar in the center. There are many hand-crafted clay cups filled with what appears to be water. The side of the alter has a very simple message: "TAKE ONE CUP TO THE SPRING, LEAVE THE REST. SPILL NO DROP." Sure enough, this matches with the instructions you were given about the ritual: Take a cup of waters harvested by the Asrai, a fairy that lives within the walls of the cliffs that cultivates it every year to bring to the Red Springs for the Winter Solstice.

There is no clear warning about what will happen if you take anything besides your one cup. However, characters who disobey this instruction and take any of the riches within the cave will initially experience severe symptoms such as magical blockage, an endless common cold, and food turning to ash in their mouth. They will experience dreams in which they are urged to return the treasure and a day later, advanced symptoms if it goes on for too long have been known to result in vomiting frogs and snakes, insomnia, speaking in tongues despite the translation spell, bleeding from the ears, and eventually death.

C ⦿ Drink Up

Those who listen and take the Asrai's cups to the Red Springs will notice while carrying the cups, all creatures and threats will leave you in peace. Neither rain nor snow will touch you, parting from your path in both the sky and on the ground. The effects will only last as long as you don't spill a single drop. The ritual can still be completed, but the protections only work if you don't spill-- otherwise you'll be fighting off weather, creatures, other people, and whatever else you encounter as the effects of a spilled cup will cause those around you to try to steal your cup without thought for your safety, even if they might not even think to do normally.

Upon arriving at the Red Springs, a party of people there to guide those who have made the ritual's journey to a particular pool within the vicinity of the springs. Characters will be directed to take a sip, then pour the rest into the Spring alongside your peers, finally throwing the clay cup itself into the spring. Throughout the day, you will begin to feel strangely giddy, but it will pass. Nothing much will seem like it happens otherwise, but the guides assure you that you will understand on the night of the winter solstice when the ritual is complete and your body becomes a conduit to purify and rejuvenate Avalon's magic.

For now, as thanks, the guides offer you one of the celebratory gifts they have to offer-- free drinks (this time of the age-appropriate alcoholic or sugary variety), a free night's stay at the Red Springs, a yule log, an escort, a Recipe: Snow Dance. (Effect: Snow Dance will cause small flurries to pick up where the spell is cast, resulting in decreased visibility. Only works if snow is already present, as it cannot generate elements.) The choice is yours. Pick one.

MOD NOTES:
• All test drive prompts are open to anyone in the game at any time to create your own logs with, but this post should have top-levels by potential new characters only. Current characters may reply to any threads, but should not top-level comment on this post.
• If your application is accepted, you may accept TDM threads as game canon as long as both players consent. Characters may begin threading as soon as their journal is accepted to the communities.
• If nothing here tickles your fancy, try one of this month's Quests for your TDM prompt.
• The first "Arrival" prompts are present on every TDM, but may contain seasonal tweaks for flavor. All other prompts will change monthly.
• Questions about this TDM's content? Comment here! If you have a question about the game at-large, please head over to the FAQ.

*This Everwarm does not count toward your potion collection for those who wish to take up potion brewing. You must obtain Everwarm from the Elphame Trader's to count.
**Jackets come in a variety of neutral colors, enchanted with a fit-adjustment spell that will adjust to your character's size.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

The demon hiding in the Café burst into wild laughter.

"He tried too... HAHA... and they exploded on him! HA! YOU DESERVED THAT!"

Rubbing it in Crowley stood and in typical smart ass demon snake behavior flicked his tongue that the kid buried in his music induced snowball shrapnel mound.

"Learn how to use your magic before trying to attack a de--..."

WHACK! One of the snowballs had taken a lazy curving arc before finding its target at the back of the Crowley's head. He spun round but too late to avoid the one that caught him in the shoulder. He dove to the right but the rest of the snowball squadron found him there and set about practically creating an igloo over his head.

Uenoyama would've been more bothered if the snowballs he sent flying didn't suddenly get a mind of their own.

Or maybe it was Muse's doing. She's been chuckling to herself all this time, whether it was Uenoyama or Crowley that got showered with snow. He takes off the guitar and shoves it to his familiar, who fumbles for a moment, and grabs a handful of snow, rushing at the guy.

He's usually polite to other people but this guy was LAUGHING at him. Gloves off!

"I never had magic before STOP JUDGING ME!"

The snow mound Crowley found his head buried under heaved before he was finally able to pop free. Whatever Uenoyama was saying had been muffled by the snow but the warhoop was loud enough and the charge unmistakable.

"WHOA! Wait... what are you going to do with that...??"

Crowley's fingers snapped automatically and the ground itself answered by shifting violently up and down. It hadn't been the intended result. He had been trying to melt the snow in the Uenoyama's hands but maybe trying to run over a funhouse-like moving floor would still slow up the attack.

He was trying to make a massive snowball to throw at him, two-handed. But whatever Crowley did made him stumble in his intentions and instead of making a snowball and tossing it, he tripped and sent the snow flying forward. Less a snowball and more like a sheet of snow dust.

Before he faceplants into the snow.

Just great. Today is great. He can't trust even his own legs anymore. If he remained to lay here in the snow, would that erase this shitty situation altogether. He just wants warm tea now and a blanket.

"I hate this place..." Uenoyama mutters when he lifts his face to glare, completely red and wet from snow and cold.

The demon looked to his own hands, startled by the result of that, before looking back at the kid in the snow drift like he had meant to do that all the time!

"HA! Maybe next time you will think twice before starting a snowball war!"

Uenoyama gets himself up on his knees and makes a disgruntled noise, just frowning miserably at the other guy.

"I didn't!" He turns halfway and points at the familiar that's standing a few feet away from them. "She told me to practice magic on the snow! I didn't think this would happen! Besides-" he now points at Crowley, "You look as bad as I! You have a pile of snow on your head! I didn't completely lose!"

"Snowball fight rules, last one to faceplant into the snow loses whether or not the other combatant has snow on their head!"

Crowley bobs his head in the direction of the familiar.

"And she didn't throw anything."

"What kind of rules are those!?"

The familiar in question tries her best to look nonchalant as she's both accused and proclaimed innocent, but it's not really working.

"She does NOT look innocent at all!"

Those snowballs don't just curve on their own and Uenoyama is not that experienced...

Crowley just standing there, coolly shook the snow from his head.

"Standard snowball fight rules. It's the same everywhere..."

Not that he was big on rules unless he made them up on the spot and they favored him. Crowley was calling this a win for his side even if it was more likely a draw.
As for the familiar... They were all guilty of something weren't they? The more innocent she looked the more guilty Crowley thought she was, but it seemed to him it would work Uenoyama up more if the opposite were believed so...

"Her? She's not even paying attention to all this!"

"Well, I've never heard of them!"

Uenoyama is finally back on his feet and dusting off the snow from his clothes. There's a little bit of a shiver from how wet he is, but he ignores it and makes a quick trip back to get his guitar, pack it up and sling it over his back.

He sniffs, rubbing his nose and casting Muse another glance.

"Well, she sent that barrage of snowballs at you. That wasn't me- I don't know to use magic like that."

That's the only thing that makes sense to Uenoyama. If the guy isn't mad about it even better.

"Yeah, blame her and not the sour note you played."

He twisted the knife one last time just because, demon. He had been mad initially mostly because his coco had spilled and he had been enjoying that but who doesn't love a good snowball fight? It's great causing all that mischief in one place!

"Don't walk away mad, it was fun. Besides! You're forgetting the best part about a snowball fight. Loser gets to buy the winner another hot chocolate."

He lied, easily making up another one of these 'rules' of his.

"Might help to smoother things over..."

Not that anything needed smoothing over from where Crowley stood but he wouldn't mind a replacement.

"I don't play sour notes!"

Now that's something he'll get angry about if someone calls him incompetent when it comes to music he plays. There's a lot of grumbling as he gets his things in order- he's not walking away. Yet.

"Again with the rules I don't know. Besides, I'm penniless here, so put it on my tab. The money I did have got drenched when I fell into the lake. AND it doesn't count here so..."

But the hot drink does sound good- he sneezes loudly and shivers. He groans (and gets angry with himself!) and shoves his hands in the pockets of his jacket and pants, trying to see if he can find any stray coins.

It was a situation... both of them new, neither with any money and Crowley had already used a sneaky tactic to wheedle himself the first drink. That ploy wasn't likely to work again! But he could possibly think up a new one.

"So that instrument you are carrying around isn't just for show? You could put it to good use..."

He slipped closer, quick as a snake, to direct his new acquaintance's attention towards the other diners filling into the café.

"All you have to do is play a song or two. There would be no need for a tab at all... We might even get a whole meal out of the deal."

Uenoyama jumps a bit in surprise when Crowley suddenly gets to his side. "Of course it's not just for show. I've been playing since I was a kid. I can't sing though." But to put it to good use...

"Are you sure they are going to just let me play and then give us food and drinks for it? Most places don't really care." At least back in Japan. You could play until your fingers fell off, but it is just a show. Unless you're standing around with an open bag asking openly for money.

...did the things get THAT bad for him? Gods, he hates this.

"If I play, what are you going to do?"

"While you are out there doing your thing I'll be doing the hard part, working the crowd. All you have to do is keep playing."

He didn't quite have walking around with an open bag in mind but then he didn't have a bag to begin with. What actually would happen depended on the crowd and how respective they proved to be. Handouts were fine but slipping into the kitchen while the staff was busy throwing the kid out was also an option.

"So what sort of music do you play, anything by Queen? I doubt this lot has heard anything like that before."

Uenoyama gives him a look.

"How about you work the crowd before I play? As in- ask for their permission. Then I'll play."

Uenoyama, for better or for worse, has no idea he's talking with a demon. He sees an adult and adult better take responsibility for this. Because he's raised to be good and polite. Don't leave him to be tossed out!

"Queen? Of course. I listen to all sorts of music, but UK rock is probably my favorite." He peers at the people in the shop, "They seem like types to enjoy lute more than an electric guitar."

"It wouldn't work the other way around. If you ask people to spend money on music before they have heard it they will always say no. But, give people a dinner show they weren't expecting and they will reach into their back pocket for a coin or two."

He spoke like the voice of experience but then he had seen a few dinner shows in his 6,000 year life.

"What are you worried about? Just play something with a beat. People love a good song, lute or not."

Uenoyama looks at him as if he doesn't know whether to believe him or no. Still, it's a way to practice and MAYBE get some money.

"...well. I won't ask the guests. But I WILL ask the owner. I don't want to be tossed out or chased around the city for making a ruckus. And I'll play, I'll play!"

It's not that hard to get him to play really.

"Let's go already." He wants to get into the warm, for starters. He scans around for shops and sees one that can pass as a pub that would hold music nights on Fridays or Saturdays, and heads for it.

The thought that playing music might insight a mob to chase them around town had really never occurred to Crowley. There was a fun idea! So long as the pitchforks the mob carried were only for show... It wouldn't be much fun if they were serious about harming anyone.

"You've no sense of adventure!"

Even having said that the demon swaggered into the bar behind his potential hot coco ticket and slid discretely along the wall for the best viewpoint to watch Uenoyama speak to the owner. They wouldn't have long to wait. The owner appeared from the backroom as soon as the bell over the door jingled and approached the pair to ask if they would like a table for two.

"Being stuck here is enough of an adventure," Uenoyama shots back as he pushes the door to the pub open.

It's pleasantly warm inside and there aren't too many people in, mostly either playing out in the snow or off doing their work. The others are warming up to some kind of stew and ale. Uenoyama slinks between the tables and straight to the bar, leaving Crowley to sit back wherever.

The owner doesn't look too happy to let Uenoyama play, but few tipsy people make noise for music (Uenoyama's face says: "You should stop drinking" but his mouth remains shut). In the end, the owner lets him do it as one guy, the leader of loud tipsy people, slams a bag with coins onto the counter and yells "PLAY!" The owner sighs, shrugs his shoulders, and nods towards a small clear space at the end of the room.

Uenoyama snatches the bag with coins (20 golds, he leaves four to the owner, the rest he pockets, and unpacks the guitar, slinging it over his shoulder. It is a nice, custom-designed Telecaster, a gift from his dad long time ago. He takes several moments to tune it, debating what to play. He doesn't have an amplifier here so he can't use his pedal so- he'll have to jam REALLY loudly so he can be heard.

"Queen" huh... He looks over to Crowley as if asking which song, but doesn't wait for an answer; 'Bohemian Rhapsody' is just too easy, so he begins off with "The show must go on". And he plays it on the dot. He doesn't mess around with it, except when he finishes the song and makes a bridge over to the next one, the one he refused to play first (as if out of spite).

It had been the first band that came to mind but then it was always the first band that came to Crowley's mind and he was pleasantly surprised to discover Uenoyama had not only heard of them but could manage a decent medley of their songs. That had been one of the fears, dropping out of the sky to land in the freezing bay here... that there wouldn't be any decent music around at all. The issue of the drinks was solved easily enough too, by finding that same drunk fellow with the deep pockets and joining him at his table. Anyone that generous with his gold inevitably bought everyone a round!

Forget hot chocolate, a chilled glass of wine went down a lot smoother! He sat back, feet propped up, listening to the music even when one of the drunken extras in the crowd stood up to toss their martini olive at the joker on stage as they yelled in their highest pitched drunken brawl warhoop, "THAT'S NOT A LUTE!"

Uenoyama plays through few Queen songs, then switches to several others from different UK rock bands he listened to since he was younger. It felt nice to have fingers on the strings again; he practices but the performance is different. When he noted the guy paying for drinks, he made sure to keep more 'cheerful' songs on his 'playlist'.

But when the guy yelled at him for not having a lute, Uenoyama stopped for a moment, shredded across guitar strings, and pointed at him: "I don't have one! Beggars can't be choosers! Now shut up and listen!" If Kaji was around, he'd laugh and tease him with "Lord Ue rises and rules again". His temper really flares when it comes to defending his music.

And if any one of them try to start a bar fight, Muse is looming behind Uenoyama like a dark cloud with crackling bright eyes, threatening with just her posture of her hand on the harp 'One move against my charge and you're flying out of here'.

It was ever so tempting. Crowley had noticed during the concert that the wine drinking portion that he sat with was developing a growing tension with the beer drinking lute demanding crowd the kid and his familiar were now having issues with. He sat up a little taller, swigged down the last of his wine and as innocently as a demon could be yelled out, "SHADDUP! Play Pale Blue Eyes!"

Then without missing a beat he turned to the man with deep pockets and spoke loudly enough for the heckler to overhear.

"Can you believe these beer drinkers? No sense of style at all!"

The enraged heckler stood again, glaring daggers at the wine drinkers and ignoring entirely the guardian familiar. He reached for a passing tray of drinks and tossed a full flask of wine at deep pockets and then proceeded to toss cheese from an appetizer platter indiscriminately left, right, and center... including at the stage.

Crowley discretely ducked.

There was a moment where Uenoyama thought the guy was asking for 'Behind Blue eyes' and he almost complied;

but then the fight broke out. He's not sure what provoked it, everyone was yelling at everyone, Crowley was in the middle of it one second, and the next he was gone. Glasses and cheese flew everywhere and one of the pitchers flew straight at Uenoyama's head- only to be shattered by Muse's kinetic force. She ran her fingers over her instrument again and made a shield of kinetic magic that sent anything flying Uenoyama's way back to its sender (one got plate right into his face).

Uenoyama slung the guitar over his back and grabbed his guitar case and just did a mad dash towards the door- these people are drunk and enraging his familiar by trying to get him into a fight. Sadly for the owner, few chairs fly out of Uenoyama's way as he runs towards the door, thanks to Muse's magic, and the door also swings open as he approaches. He does stop to look back around frantically, not wanting to leave the guy behind.

...bad thing is he has no clue what his name is so he can't call out for him!

Edited 2020-12-23 03:51 (UTC)

Uenoyama was kind to worry about him but the slippery serpent had nipped out the back way when the fun began. He caught a glimpse of the kid staring back into the fray and peeked past him to see the chaos inside, laughing evilly as some one got caught in the face by a lettuce.

"Oooh! That was a good throw! Good thing they didn't wing that at you when you were up on stage, right?"

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