avalaughs | TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 15

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TEST DRIVE MEME ⚔️️ 15

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arrival banner

A ⦿ Soaking in Your Arrival
KERPLUNK, SPLASH!

Regardless of what you were in the middle of, you and your familiar have been magically pulled into the world of Avalon just above the Bay's chilly waters. After a brief plunge into the Bay, the rush of water filling your ears and soaking up into every creak and crevice of your body, you may need to cough to clear your airways when you rise above the surface. It's paralyzingly cold for a few seconds before you're approached by the Lady of the Lake beneath the water's surface. She puts a vial of a vibrant, glowing red Everwarm* potion to your character's lips.

ice turtle

The icy water doesn't feel so icy once consumed and you'll be able to move your limbs enough to swim to shore on your own. She can't stick around to explain, she's got to get this to all the new arrivals! Many of which you'll see plopping in around you.

If you can't swim, a handful of helpful ice turtles will scoop you up from beneath and drop you off at the shore. It's a fast process, though they do take their time as they need to go around hitting the ice that keeps forming on the surface with their shells to keep the surface open for the falling arrivals. If anyone tries to ask the Lady of the Lake for directions, she will direct you to Archimedes at the Rent-a-Ride. If anyone with Animal Magic asks the turtles, they will give the full spiel, but very slowly, and they like to get off topic and gossip about other turtles you've never heard of. The shores themselves are littered with new arrivals complaining their way up a staircase carved into the walls of the White Cliffs. There is no railing, so be careful, but if you do fall, be prepared for a mysterious sand hand to reach out of the side of the cliffs to catch you. The hand will pat you atop the head twice before retreating back into the wall. This is the Cliff Beast; despite the name, he is quite friendly.

B ⦿ The Caravan to Camelot

person riding horseback and looking at phone

Once everyone is wrangled up to the top of the White Cliffs, the handsome owner of the Rent-a-Ride, Archimedes, will distribute smart phones and a pair of ear buds and tell them to "Check the Shit Box." The "Shit Box" refers to wardrobe more formally known as the Wardrobe of Finding, a hammerspace-like wardrobe that opens to each person's items and pets when the person touches the handle. It was recently enchanted by Merlin to prevent people from having to fish their waterlogged possessions and pets out of the water with them. From there, Archimedes directs everyone to settle in groups into modernized carriages pulled by horses and gives them a basic explanation of why and how they've been brought to Avalon: The rest of the universe is frozen in time and your character has been brought here by a familiar that was able to bond with them. They'll have to learn magic to help save their own world from destruction, but first they've got to get them to Camelot. It is here that you have the first opportunity to decide who they will be in their new home. You'll have about an hour to wander around here, meet and greet, and pet the horses before it's time to go.

These carriages use fae technology that combats weight, so your character will be able to get in regardless of whether they're light as a feather or weigh two tons. The carts have air conditioning when it's hot, heating when it's cold, and a mystical shield to protect from bugs. There is also a mini-bar that pops out of the console, with a special feature for warm winter drinks like hot apple toddy and butter beer. Characters can use their smartphones to connect to Camelot's internet service, avalononline (AOL), to chat with other characters, watch dumb videos, learn about the world, contact Camelot Support (they'll answer any questions they can for you, from how to use a smart phone to where to find quests and resources to learn more about your magic). Be careful if you decide to use your phones while in the caravan-- if you don't use those earbuds and start forcing everyone to listen to your nonsense, Archimedes may make you walk.

C ⦿ The Red Spring

The journey from the White Cliffs to the City of Camelot is a long one, and the first evening you arrive you'll end up spending at the Red Spring, a booming resort town. Newcomers get free inn rooms for their one night stay on the way to Camelot, containing two twin beds, a bathroom, a mini-fridge and microwave, and a TV equipped with a couple of entertaining video games and movies.

Don't want to relax in the room? Take a dip in the communal hot spring. The waters have restorative properties that help horses and travelers recover quickly. It is known to relieve stress, improve energy levels, and mildly accelerate healing. It may be a little chilly when you get out though, so make sure you don't slip rushing back indoors when you get out!

The springs are also home to a large training grounds just outside town limits, where there are teachers who will teach basic magic safety and help you discover what kind of magic you have together with other new arrivals. Try target practice, obstacle courses, meditation circles, and other ways to try to figure out just what you can do... if you didn't already have an accidental discovery on the ride there.

hot springs covered in steam

Frosty Forest Glamp

Last month, players were invited into the fae territories in Elphame for the first time for the Winter Solstice celebrations while King Arthur and Queen Elphame enter talks regarding the next steps toward saving the multiverse. In the meantime, a special camp hosted King Arthur's knights has been created on the riverbank just inside of the Forest of the Felled to act as a midway point for travelers going between the two points.

A ⦿ Snow More Cold

igloo interior w/ 5way bed

The Forest Camp is quite a stunning outpost for Camelot. Given the snowy, cold weather, the campsites have been built with the knowledge of some of the snowier fae in mind and have resulted in what some are referring to as "Igloo Glamping." Artfully carved out group rooms, dining halls, and storage for supplies, and more have been carved out of snow to create a surprisingly warm solution to keeping safe as a Forest halfway point.

Admittedly, it's not the your standard glamp-- but there are TVs, board games, and long fur-lined beds to keep you and four other people warm cuddled up together at night! There's also a snow port-a-potty that you probably don't want to face, but sometimes we face challenges in life. There are also a number of planned activities to keep people out of trouble while they stay.

...Or if they do get themselves into trouble, they can also end up in snow jail, a special igloo built with extremely tough ice stalagmites that will be hard to break out of until authorities can come pick you up and take you back to Camelot.

B ⦿ The Great Avalon Bake-Off

One of these activities is inspired by a surprising store of buried baking supplies like flour, sugar, butter, yeast, and eggs that was found in the forest. It's been there a long while, but it seems to have been protected through magical preservation, so there's really only one thing to do about it: a bake-off!

It's a little tricky out in the snow, so outside of the igloos, a trench has been dug and all contestants have been given a campfire. Alchemists have helped by creating clay ovens in the snow for contestants to bake their culinary creations in.

The most impressive confections (not just the top scorer) will earn a copy of (Spell) Thirst. This spell can make someone feel thirsty, even if they aren't.

honey walnut fig cake

C ⦿ Ingredient Hunt 2022

a very small plant

The real trick is finding ingredients to make your confection something to stand out and come up on top of the contest, which you may need to wander into the Forest of the Felled to look for.

There are a variety of winter berries able to be found, herbs and flowers buried under the snow if you can find them, and most importantly, a couple of truffle bushes from which chocolate and vanilla truffles can be harvested. There are quite a few tasty flavors to be found throughout the forest, and since it hasn't been repopulated yet due to the harsh winter, it's relatively safe to wander around no matter who you are. If you feel like you need protection though, maybe ask around camp to find someone who can fight for you.

Just be wary as there are a few ingredients you can find in the forest that may cause a few unintended side-effects to your taste-testers:

Cider Berries: These berries appear to have a fiery glow coming from within. That is because they will temporary cause anyone who consumes them to breathe fire when they exhale for about 10 minutes straight... definitely a problem when you're living in an igloo. They have a great apple-y smell though!
Strangler Figs: These fig trees grow around other plants and strangling them as if they were anacondas around prey. They produce the most brilliant looking and tasting figs, even in the winter time. Unfortunately, having been in Avalon long enough, they have absorbed magic into their roots and are now able to defend their fruit by creeping up anyone who touches them and trapping them in their grip. They cannot move while you are looking at them, so don't blink and hope you can outrun them.
Little Leeks: These are very, very small leaks that seem to be hanging out in small vials found about an inch beneath the surface of the snow. They all seem to have different faces painted on the front of the vials, though the vials do seem to be a part of their body. The simple faces match the effect you'll get-- a crying face will result in your character having an uncontrollable sob fest, a happy face may make it seem like nothing phases them, some angry eyebrows on a frown could result in your character wanting to fight everyone in a fit of anger, and so on. The most tragic part is that these will continue effecting you until they are fully digested-- so it could take hours to stop bawling.

They Grow Up So Fast

Back in Camelot and Elphame, trouble is brewing of a different variety.

A ⦿ Calls You Daddy
Strange eggs with even stranger tiny legs have started wandering into the city and making their way into peoples' homes. Inn rooms, houses, apartments, tents, tree trunks, igloos, even townships have found residents waking up with a tiny little egg snuggled up to their side to keep warm in the morning. These eggs act just like babies too-- they cry when they need to be fed (they'll roll around in the food to absorb it), are extremely picky about their food (and each egg has its own unique palette), need to be cleaned after eating, and they need to be kept warm or they will perish.
One touch of an egg to direct skin will result in a parental instinct being imprinted upon whoever touches them, so you may find yourself wanting to care for this egg as much as it wants you to care for it. Eggs come in a variety of colors and designs and will seek out at least two parents, so you may find yourself in an unlikely relationship for the next week or so until they hatch...

B ⦿ Aurora Bearealis

teddy bear emerging from egg

After about a week, the eggs all seem to be antsier than before. Many of their legs disappear and their colors start to glow gently at night, as if some kind of strange nightlight. Eventually, the top of the egg will burst open and out of it will hatch a slightly oddly shaped bear creature, which looks almost like a living teddy bear. The bears themselves have strange glowing markings that match the outside of the egg that they used to be in, and when they step out, a mysterious flow of light comes out of them- like an aurora borealis.

At this point, there are two real problems that have started:

Touching the aurora borealis lights will also make you glow with aurora borealis lights for 48 hours.
They are bears and they act like bears and they get into everything and fight everyone like bears, except their perceived parents.

C ⦿ Go on, Git.
CW: Mentions of poaching, beheading in last paragraph.

a gashadokuro skeleton monster

These fierce little aurora bears are causing destruction and pain in both Elphame and Camelot alike, so a decision has to be made: the bears need to be led by their parents and some fighters out to the nearest forest and set free to live in the wild, as they probably were intended to.

Those in Camelot who release their bears there will find a heart-wrenching goodbye interrupted by a rather dramatic battle. The natural predator of aurora bears, the flaming lions known as Fogueria, have come out of the Land of Rot to hunt them down. I hope you brought someone with you to help save both you and your beary good friend from this flaming enemy. Fogueria cannot be defeated without using magic, so you've got your battle set out for you!

For those who have taken to Elphame, they are not faring much better. As it turns out, these little eggs have made quite the impression on some goblin poachers released from prison last month. These goblins are hunting down the newly released bears for capture to sell them as circus side-shows, food, and more to more devilish creatures. They love gold much more than they love anything else, except perhaps the fierce beast that accompanies their party to help them devour anyone who would try to stop them: a gashadokuro, a fierce skeletal demon formed of the bones of fallen travelers. It is known to bite off the heads of travelers and drinks blood. You'll have to defeat the whole party to ensure your newly released bears remain safe.

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Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

[wut.]

Do what anymore?

[Hang on, there, Bruno, hypocrisy is not a good look.

After a beat he gives an apologetic smile.]

Sorry, kid, jumped to conclusions. I kinda know what it's like.

[He gestures to his pile of clothes, where a sleek grey rat is curled up, sleeping.]

I guess I could--no, wait, no I can't. [Sigh.] Well, if I see her, I'll let you know. What's your name?

[Why, yes, he is going to leave that 'no I can't' hanging.]

[ Alberto follows the guy's gesture, leaning over to peer at the rat nestled in the pile of clothes. It doesn't draw any gasp or raised eyebrow or any typical reaction of disgust or fear. Alberto has no prejudice against rats. They're just like any other animals, as far as he's concerned. So it gets a soft, lopsided half-smile, just pleasantly surprised to see an animal curled up in there, but the way Bruno trails off does lift Alberto's brow as he turns his attention back on him. ]

Ah— ...Albeeerto... [ He says with a slow, questioning lilt. ]

"You could but you can't" what...?

[ Nah, he's not gonna be polite enough to let that hanging line go; nor is he gonna be polite enough to ask the man's name in return. His curiosity is whetted, his focus is there. He's not sure exactly what the guy meant by saying "I know what it's like" and pointing to a rat, but he did like that he apologized for jumping to conclusions about Sofia being mean and scary, even if it's true that she used to be mean and scary... Alberto's not sure how to read into it much, but this guy's strange, cryptic sincerity has caught his interest, at least. If there's a chance at extra help, to boot, Alberto wants it; worth probing a little, right? Closed mouths don't get fed, he's learning. ]

[Damn. Betrayed by his own inability to stop rambling.]

[Bruno sighs, his gaze dropping to the stones that line the edge of the spring.]

I... [He rubs the back of his neck with one hand.] could see the future. Back home, I mean. But here, I can't.

[ Whatever sass and suspicion Bruno's been met with so far, almost instantaneously melts away as Alberto's face lights up — no regards to "here, I can't." That's not important. ]

Wo-hoah, for real— You could see the future before?! Ha! Che forza, that's amazing, aha!

[ The spike in energy, volume, cheer is like a flip is switched inside this kid — a childish charm and dazzlement all about him as he suddenly... takes a seat, without taking a breath. If you were trying to relax in this hotspring, Bruno, uh... Nevermind. ]

What kinda stuff could you see, huh?! Could you see, like, years into the future, or only, like, tomorrow-into-the-future, heh?

[ Interest captured. Dinosaur, not captured. Dinosaur still at large. Alberto... also at large. ]

Ah... uh....

[His gaze darts about for a moment. Nope, he's pretty much trapped. Okay. Okay. Relax. Kids are always curious like that.]

It... really depended on what people asked for... or, or what the magic wanted me to see. Sometimes it was minutes, sometimes it was years.

[Someday he'll not be uncomfortable when talking about this. Today is not that day.]

Wait, wait— so you were a professional, uh— future-seer? That was your job back home?!

[ And he thought working in a pescheria was pretty glamorous...!

Any indication that Bruno is uncomfortable is either unnoticed or ignored, or some mixture of the two... Trapped, indeed. ]

Kind of, yeah. Each of us in our family has a gift. So we work to help the village outside our casita any way we can, [he shrugs] ever since I was little, really.

[Something about the distant way he says this hints he isn't as invested in the idea as others thought he should be.]

Anyway, I guess I'm gonna have to find a new job now, huh? Maybe lizard-monster-spotting.

[He's not the best at jokes.]

Hah! Ehi, Sofia escapes enough, I'd hire you, hah!

[ His joke worked, though, wow. Alberto's smile is lighthearted and he's clearly not that worried about the missing lizard monster that he's taken the time to sit here and chit-chat. If she gets out that often... No wonder. ]

No one back where I'm from has any cool magic super powers or anything, man. Here, I meet all these monsters "made of magic" and super heroes with super-strength and stuff — I'm just... normal...

[ He's not. Not by any standards but his own. His smile softens slightly, a little wistful, but stays put regardless, almost in spite of himself. ]

[He knows that look. Ouch, right in the feelings.]

[Softly,] Hey, nothing wrong with being normal. My sobrina, Mirabel, she doesn't have any magical powers and she's the strongest, bravest person I know.

Heh— yeah, yeah, yeah, I know I'm strong and brave and all that, too, but I can't make things explode with my hands...! Well— back home, at least, heh. But heeeere—!

[ A lopsided grin spreads over his face again and he leans back slightly, raising his hands up between them to create a bright, sparkling illusion of a firework, shimmering gold and totally silent — merely light magic, nothing tangible, and certainly not at all making anything explode, but... a cute trick. ]

Ehh~? I mean, it's not a real explosion, like the human kind that go boom, but— Ehhh~?

[ Quick to brag and show off, he sets off another couple illusions within it, letting the small series of similar blossoms of sparks overlap with each other until they silently fizzle and dissipate into thin air again, letting his hands fall limp at the wrist as if displaying their absence, a prideful smirk on his face. Waiting for praise, please and thank you, ahem. ]

[Hah. Kid's a few steps ahead of most people Bruno knows... including himself. It might be bravado or it might be genuine, either way it's kind of refreshing.

The light show brings a grin to his face, a rare smile that reaches his eyes, that looks genuinely delighted instead of wry or sheepish.]

Heyy, that's really good! If they have parties here, I bet you're busy, huh?

Ehhh— Well, I went to one party a few days ago!

[ He pauses awkwardly, though. That's the only party he's ever been to in his whole life. But he's not admitting that to a stranger? He considers it, but... no, no, he has pride to maintain. Besides, seeing the way this guy smiled at his fireworks is validating, since this is the main skill Alberto has developed with his magic here — and it's utterly useless except for... doing what he just did. Delighting people. Mostly himself. But other people do like it. And he likes that. ]

There were real fireworks there that night, too, so I did practice mine, yeah, heh. [ AKA — he studied. But he'll never phrase it like that. ]

Me and my best friend here, he's got elemental magic, and we make all kinds of fireworks together~ We even made waterworks once! And next, we're gonna make lightningworks...! ...Once he figures out how to make lightning, eheh.

[ This... is absolutely charming but what the fuck are lightningworks, that sounds scary and dangerous and like Not something children should be experimenting with, um??? ]

[Bruno isn't the best one to ask about kids experimenting with magic, he's watched his share of five-year-olds create storms or manifest plants or throw heavy things about. Alberto seems plenty old enough.]

Lightning, huh? That'll be really flashy!

[Was that a pun? Awgawd, that was a pun, wasn't it?]

[ Alberto skips a beat, then shoots him a sly smile... and a finger gun. ]

Haaaaaah...!

[ P-Pun appreciated. What's more, Alberto's smitten that this is literally the first person who has not discouraged this idea apart from his actual friend. Who's. Ten years old. E-Every adult has been like "uh, no, Alberto" until now. So he's pretty impressed by this reaction alone — plus a pun. Nice. ]

It will be. Heh. We wanna do a whole show, like a huge one, for the city... We know this guy who makes bombs. He said he'll teach us how to make real fireworks.

[ But also strongly discouraged the lightningworks, unfortunately. ]

...It'll be a blast~

[ rgufjksnd matched ]

[Bruno snickers. He's never been above puns and he's certainly not going to start, now.]

I look forward to seeing your work explode onto the scene.

[ This is great. Grownups aren't usually this funny. He's about it. He leans forward curiously, smile stuck on his face still. ]

Hah~! Heh, so, d'y'know what your magic is here yet, Signor? You're new, yeah? I mean— not to assume, but. Y'know. You seem new.

[ He says with a sort of teasing, knowing smile, waving a limp hand at him with a tilt of his head. Ever-animated, this kid, endlessly gesturing as he speaks. At least he's a little polite — called him signor, after all! Some respect? Though he could just as easily start picking his nose any second now, but, y'know, we count our wins where we can. Ostensibly Alberto's been here a while, though, so it's a fair appraisal of context clues that Bruno's probably a newcomer, really. ]

I am new here... very new... and I don't know what it is, yet, no.

[A wry laugh.]

I'm just glad I know what it isn't.

Soooo— maybe that's how you can figure out what it is, too! Try and, uh— uhhh, do water magic! Make a wave?! Or a bubble? Or, uh— a whirlpool!

[ Alberto leans forward curiously, then points at the water — albeit, water far off, not particularly near them. He doesn't wanna be in the "splash zone" if this guy actually has water magic and can accomplish any of that right off the bat.

...Nevermind that this is, one, not how water magic works here, and two, entirely unhelpful, because that's also not exactly how one discovers their powers...? Nor is Alberto even remotely skilled in any kind of magic theory, can offer zero understanding of how to train because he refuses to go to school, and is... probably overstepping some social boundaries demanding this of a total stranger who's trying to relax in a hotspring mere hours after being spontaneously spirited away — especially considering Alberto knows full well tomorrow morning this guy will be able to go to the training grounds and meet actual experts to guide him in his new magic. He doesn't need to be pestered by a scatterbrained, overeager child right now, surely. Isn't this kid supposed to be looking for his lizard, anyway? What happened to that plan, huh?! ]

[On the one hand, it's a thing Bruno's used to--his sisters' kids were just as excitable, if not moreso, and it's kind of charming.

On the other hand, he really is here to relax and trying to use any kind of magic is not high on his list of things to do at the moment. He gives a slightly indulgent grin.]

Woah, kid--I'd love to find out, but let's take it one thing at a time, huh? Let an old man get his bearings and learn what this place is all about, first, okay?

[ Alberto raises an eyebrow, looking suddenly unimpressed. Kids will be kids... ]

...Fine. Ask me anything, then. I'm an expert.

[ ...H-He's not. He's fourteen. And still writes his E's backwards. But! He has been here for half a year. He does know at least some things... and he likes helping people. That's the main point, in subtext. ]

[Kids are kids no matter where you find them or where they're from, it seems.]

Anything, huh? Okay. Serious question, then--do they have any plans to send us back home after we're, uh... done saving the world?

Yes. Eventually. That or you'll just randomly disappear someday, anyway.

[ As far as he's heard... Not a convincing or a comforting answer, how he delivers it, though. ]

Next question?

[ ghrjsnfkd he's not interviewing you, Alberto, calm down ]

'Disappear?'

[Well, that's... not... good.]

Disappear where?

[ Alberto shrugs, humming as if to say “I’unno,” scratching idly at his face as he talks. ]

Home, I guess? Or, uh, I guess another world. Cuz, y’know, obviously there are, like, a gazillion… Orrr you could end up here for years. I know a guy like that.

[ …which is also… not… good…? Alberto should not be allowed to welcome anyone to Avalon ever again. ]

[No, he really shouldn't, especially if the look of growing horror on Bruno's face is anything to go by.]

Wow, I.... Wow. I feel like I should be a lot more afraid of this than I am....

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