Kadoc Zemlupus (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
impostorsyndrome) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
avalaughs2021-08-05 08:04 pm
impostorsyndrome) wrote in avalaughs2021-08-05 08:04 pm
who dares question me
QUESTION FOR A QUESTION MEME
We all like hearing about each other's characters! We all like talking about our own characters! With this groundbreaking new meme, now you can finally do both, for the very first time in DWRP history!
The Guidelines:
Now get to askin'!
The Guidelines:
- Post a toplevel listing the characters you play! If you have any boundaries you want to set re: questions you might receive (e.g. "No NSFW questions for this character"), do that here too.
- Tag other people asking them questions about their characters. What kinds of questions? Up to you! Canon questions, headcanon questions, meta questions, some random thing you've wondered since that thread you had two months ago, it's all fair game.
- Need ideas? I was passed this excellent gallery of various questions memes, so feel free to crib from these or just use them as inspiration.
- Answer the questions you receive, and, once you've done that, hit the person back with a question of your own about their character(s) too!
- You can end it there, or continue to go back and forth asking questions until you're out.
Now get to askin'!
Hen
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I think really, just based on how much it really affects him to be chosen for Team A in the first place by Marisbury despite having so many disadvantages as a mage, Kadoc is most deeply touched by anything that compliments him on real, concrete skills or aspects he has that he worked to achieve. He's incredibly proud of the fact that anything about him really was good enough for someone else to notice in a sea of talented people with flashier abilities and bloodlines than his, but really even minor things mean a lot to him if they're specific compliments on things inherent to him. Like, as much as he had a tendency to brush things off and respond to them in backhanded ways, they do still get under his skin if he can believe some aspect of them, and the more specific the compliment, the more thought-out and earnest it seems, and the less he can argue with it. An example would be like, calling him hot (which he doesn't think is true, and would blow off) vs. "I really like your style, it looks good on you" (which he does aim to be true, and he'd be flattered someone noticed and agreed).
SO really just like, 1. think about it in specific terms, 2. actually mean it (he's pretty good at telling), and 3. ideally have it be something he's already secretly kinda proud of and desperate for other people to notice he's putting effort into lol. Other than that the specifics don't matter much!
FOR YOU: Rei has kids, right? IDK IF THIS IS A SPOILER? If anything about this is spoilery I don't mind but tell me how he'd feel and if anything would change for him if one or more of his kids showed up in Avalon. unless we actually have them and I just don't know which characters they are lmao
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For Rei: Yes, he does! It's not really a spoiler... Hypmic tried to be coy about it for a few months, but Rei & his kids all look alike so everyone clocked it the second Rei was revealed LMFAO
Rei has three sons. They're all teenagers, and the oldest is Kadoc's age! Their relationship with Rei is... strained at best, varying in intensity from "suspicious of Rei" to "hates Rei" depending on the son. They have plenty of reason to think poorly of him, because he abandoned them at an orphanage when they were children for as-of-yet-unrevealed reasons; and he's not exactly making himself likeable in the present day.
On Rei's part, though, he loves them all terribly. In canon he tries to embrace his villain persona so they can hate him properly, but his desperation to care about them and their wellbeing leaks out in small ways despite his best efforts. The specifics would depend on which kid arrived, but if his sons showed up in Avalon Rei would have a hard time keeping away from them!!!!!! Especially because Avalon is dangerous in a way he can't control-- Rei's villain persona would unfurl a lot quicker when he's constantly visibly trying to keep them alive LMFAO. I think Rei would have a special opportunity to really get to know his sons in Avalon in a way he can't afford back home! It would be super angsty and cathartic and i would love it. LOLLL
OKAY KADOC AGAIN. i wanna know if kadoc finds avalon better or worse than home. how does he feel about being stuck here? Is it keeping him away from stuff he needs to do back home, or is it a new lease on life?
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Now I really want to see it though, SOB
Kadoc vs. home is interesting because like, I deliberately took him from an extremely uncertain canonpoint in terms of what his status is back home, from his perspective. The Cliff Notes is that Lostbelt 1 ends, Kadoc loses but his life is spared by the protagonist group and he's taken into custody, he agrees to give them information because he can't escape the thing he's being held in and he's determined to make it out of this alive, and then before anything else can happen someone swoops in, stabs him right there in front of everyone, fakes his death, drags his "body" back to his original team, and basically tells Kadoc (when he wakes up from the fake magical death spell) that he's being kept alive because he is carrying in his body a Magical Macguffin that his team can't afford to lose, but for no other reason. Even before being told this explicitly by the person who stabbed him (who should not be trusted, lol) Kadoc was pretty convinced that he was just going to be killed by his team anyway for having lost his chapter and being "worthless" now.
NOW LIKE, this isn't true, he was not going to be instantly executed anyway, but Kadoc is very paranoid about people wanting him dead for whatever reason, and it's going to be very hard to convince him that Team A is not just keeping him around to steal his Macguffin and then murder him, or just murder him before anyone else can use it. He's pretty convinced! So at his current canonpoint, Kadoc really does not know how long he has left to live if he goes home right back to the moment he came from. Even if I canon update him some, he's still going to be in that mindset, if not quite as powerfully as he is literally in the moment after getting stabbed, lol.
SO ALL OF THAT SAID . . . being in Avalon is definitely a reprieve from having to deal with everything back home. tbh in a lot of ways even if none of FGO had happened at all, and Kadoc was just living a normal (mage) life back in his own world, Avalon would be better in a lot of ways than where he came from—Young Kadoc would actually be SUPER into the idea of Avalon because he'd be able to feel like he was doing a real thing to help save the universe oh wow! He can get acclaim and recognition and make a name for himself, and no one cares that his family isn't established here (because no one's is, among the offworlders) or that his magic is weaker than everyone else's (because the difference between Kadoc's single-type weakness in Avalon vs. people with two magic types is MUCH less than the difference between himself back home and e.g. Kirschtaria Wodime, the amazing god-like prodigy who is the leader of his team and comes from an ancient bloodline).
Current Kadoc is way too jaded and bitter to look at what's happening here in those terms and get excited about it. But he is still very aware that some of those things are still benefits to him in this world: everyone's been nerfed, and no one cares who he or anyone else here is. He tries not to be too happy about that, because it feels petty and cheap, but he is, lol. His position here is unarguably better than back in his world, without even taking into account the fact that by the way his world is actually ended and almost all of the Earth has been bleached white and stripped of life and human society is a thing of the past. You know. There is that too.
Despite all of that, Kadoc has actually not yet ever considered just not going home. He will have to think about it someday, but right now the possibility doesn't even exist in his head. Rather, he thinks that if he doesn't go home, it'll be because Avalon doesn't stop the Calamity and nobody gets to go home. He thinks that's very possible, maybe even the most likely outcome of all this. But he hasn't yet considered the idea that he might get a choice someday, and what choice he would make if he did. Deep down he's pretty convinced that the only place he really belongs is back there, facing up to whatever fate has in store for him and observing the outcome of the battle going on for the world.
WHEW THAT WAS LONG.
I want to know what Rinea is thinking about in their Mirror thread where she's considering what Kadoc reminds her of! TELL ME HER THOUGHTS AND FEELINGS
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for your question, with some vague FE SOV spoilers: Rinea is in the middle of comparing the similarities between Kadoc and her betrothed, Prince Berkut! They're super different on the face-- Berkut is extremely noisy about his pride, and Kadoc obviously not so much LOL. But they have the same "I was supposed to be the protagonist!!" storyline. Underneath Berkut's veneer of confidence is actually a very fragile boy who was told he was Big Special and he wants so, so badly to be acknowledged for his hard work towards that end; when that doesn't happen, he goes apeshit.
More than just the similarity though Rinea is being struck by the different way Kadoc and Berkut have gone about dealing with their issue. Kadoc's reaction to his own insecurity is very inwardly focused: he's self-aware to an unhealthy degree, but it also means he's considerate. And Berkut's reaction is... the opposite hjfdkfsd. After rejecting her help and thinking she had a hand in undermining him Berkut did Something Really Terrible to rinea right as Avalon nabbed her, and she has spent her entire stay feeling guilty about it. But now that she's seen Kadoc work so hard to fight his own demons, and is just dunking on himself for having vulnerabilities instead of blowing the hell up? SHE FEELS SOME TYPE OF WAY!!!
Putting aside her opinion on Berkut tho, the contrast between them is also making her nearly sick with sympathy for Kadoc. :'( He's so good, but she can't really articulate why or how in a way that will convey that to him, and it's breaking her heart. And he's worried about her instead of himself!!! Stop that!! Waahhh!!!
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spoilers for LB2 but nothing after
Kadoc in Avalon is from a canonpoint mid-LB2 prologue (so after Kirei stabs 'n' grabs him but before he actually gets to Atlantis), and IMO even at that canonpoint I think the writing is on the wall that Kadoc is going to be redeemed before the Lostbelt arc is over. I have a few reasons why I'm pretty confident in this! I feel like the plot takes basically every opportunity it can to display that Kadoc isn't actually a bad dude and to nudge him in the direction of Chaldea, when it could just as easily turn away from that. Maybe what I should say is that there are several forks in the road along the way and at every single one of them the plot conspires to make him "important in the future on the Chaldea side." The fact that he's even alive at all after LB2 when they could have just killed him and gotten his character out of the way if he wasn't going to play a future role; the fact that he went as far as to agree to help Chaldea in the LB2 prologue and that only didn't happen because of outside interference; the fact that he's clearly very uneasy about his place among the Crypters now that he's failed at his own Lostbelt, and he has no real motivation anymore to support their goals, especially after Kirei flat-out told him his only remaining purpose was housing his unused Sirius Light; the fact that Anastasia tells him in her dying scene that she knows he'll always do the right thing in the end, in a scene that's very narratively coded as if she's saying something relevant and correct.
In general too, Kadoc is pretty consistently written as showing sympathy to Chaldea and anxiety about the Crypters—it's just that he usually doesn't voice it. It's often written in asides like him going " . . . " when Beryl says something shitty, or displayed by him being unable to be convincing when he's trying to be an asshole to Mash's face in LB1. Basically, I don't think the writers would bother with not only keeping him alive despite multiple opportunities to kill him off and making a point of him being Not So Bad if he were going to just end up doing the villain thing in the end and then dying.
SO TL;DR yes I do think the evidence points to, if not future teaming up, at least future collaboration of some sort!!
I don't know much about Itaru but I saw in his info post that he used to be a chuunibyou, TELL ME ABOUT THAT, it sounds hilarious
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now as for itaru, he used to be a chuuni when he was a kid! he had a rough childhood growing up, so he coped by imagining himself as a reincarnation of lancelot (from the in-universe videogame called Knights of the Round, but he's also a bookworm so he really could be kinning lancelot from the arthuriana itself as well, help) and even pretended that he could talk to the fairy companion lancelot has that only he can see! he even named the fairy familiar he got in avalon after said companion, god.
he mostly grew out of it once he graduated from highschool and got a job, but he still thinks that eyepatches are cool and even in avalon he's prone to call out anime-esque special attacks every time he uses elemental magic. it does help him get more into character in the plays he gets to perform in so it's not all that bad?? but ohhh my god imagine encountering a guy yelling "I HAVE THE POWER OF GOD AND ANIME ON MY SIDE" in public because that's itaru.
ok but speaking of kadoana, what would he think of PHH ana? and between that ana and LB ana, which one does he prefer?
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I don't know anything about A3 but I know we have a pretty decent sized cast here! Which castmate does Itaru have the most complicated relationship with and what's it like? I'm dying, I love that he kinned Lancelot and now here he is in Camelot, lmaoooooo
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as of right now, he's pretty chill with his current castmates in avalon! all of them are nagging him to get an actual job instead of lazing around in his room all day (bc he's essentially a total shut-in if you ever take away his salaryman job) and he does lowkey appreciate them for giving him a kick in the pants... but you know how it is. bleh. huge shoutout to their director, izumi, though - he had to make her pretend that she's his sister that he's taking care of just so he won't have to go to his office's after party and go straight home to game all weekend. and the lie extended to his roommate who had to pretend that he's engaged to izumi and it's.... yeah, hashtag complicated but in a totally funny way LMAO.
so let's talk about the castmate who's not here yet! namely his fellow actor from spring troupe, masumi usui. masumi is a high schooler who has this super big crush on their director that's bordering on obsessive, so that's fun... he's pretty belligerent too so he couldn't gel with itaru's easygoing, lazyass nature at first. masumi also wanted to grow up faster so that the director can notice him, so seeing itaru be a manchild is like ???? why tf are you like that. so when they were both casted as co-leads in a play, masumi was forcing himself to act more mature in hopes that the director would praise him and stuff like that, but his performance suffered in the process. so with the help of kicking his ass in a fighting game, itaru gave him some pretty sobering advice about how reaching 20 wouldn't magically transform anyone into a proper adult (he's proof of that lol) and even if masumi was able to keep up w the act, he obviously cannot keep up the front forever, because itaru is also proof of that. masumi takes this to heart and starts acting more like himself from then on... but still dislikes itaru for being cringe. which is, you know, totally valid. itaru actually keeps up with a Lot of fronts to cope, and kadoc seeing his gross gamer side of him is just one of them.
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BUT YES PLEASE DO a3 has like, zero gameplay though, so most people are gonna be bored of it, but it has tons and tons of story and it's pretty solid too!! jazzhands
Re: Hen
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Tell me what drew you to playing Beowulf! I actually also have an account for him, though I haven't touched it in a very long time, lol, and I love him lots and I'm curious about your love for him!
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Besides the fact that he's mothertruckin' Beowulf? One of the oldest, written English stories around? The same guy that beats demons and other big, bad nasties into the ground with his barefists for the lolz. Honestly I just really like him, ever since I was small. Sure Arthurian legend is cool and all, but Beowulf just has like a special feel to him that makes him stand out and inspires a person to be just as cool as him. Everytime I read/listen to his story and different versions of him, he just gets more and more awesome. FGO wise, he stands out as character that doesn't get much interaction or screen time beyond a few appearances, but each time he shows up he either leaves an impact, or is just a bro.
In short Beowulf and his story are just plain awesome. Also helps that I just enjoy rare muses that aren't given much attention.
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How does he feel about gawains complexities? And being... makes hand motions. how he is toward Kadoc? How does he feel about gareth as a whole?
If Anastasia showed up what would he do?
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1. What are some roleplay goals you have in mind for Kadoc? Knowing he had a lot he has to decompress & unpack on his own, do you have plans for this? An interest of directing his issues into something stronger? Do you think sometime in Avalon he will turn out a different sort of character or succumb to his anxieties/deep thoughts?
I think these can all kind of be covered at once though! Generally speaking I'm the kind of player who doesn't play with firm goals in mind, but is for the most part invested in a positive character arc for my characters over time with a heavy CR focus. So basically you could say I want him to work out some of his issues with the help of the setting and his CR, lol. I think a lot of Kadoc's issues require some dissociating himself from his entire canon life and situation, and a game like this is an excellent opportunity for that. He has a lot to unpack that is just inherent to having grown up in the toxic Mage Society of Fate/, and I think Kadoc as a character is in a difficult position where he both has an outsider's understanding of how fucked up mages are and also an insider's inability to divorce himself from that culture. He both hates mage society and desperately wants a place in it. And I think his problems can never really fully be addressed without completely removing him from that context for at least a time, and lo and behold! Here in Avalon it's not a thing at all, and he can just be a guy like any other guy who's doing the same thing as everyone else here without baggage attached. Except his baggage from home lol. gotta unload that
All of that is to say that mostly I'm playing it by ear and not manipulating events, partially because I don't think I need to, but my hope is for being removed from his canon situation and meeting new people and getting some shit worked out with canonmates will help him progress on his own issues in a positive direction! I don't think he will ever change who he is at the core, but we do also know he's changed a lot as a person already in canon, and he's young and in the middle of a lot of shit and has a lot of potential to change his direction and mindset even more without altering who he really is deep down. I do think him taking a permanent darker turn would be extremely unlikely in a game like this and from his canonpoint; I think it could be done as an IC (and fun) story, but if I had it as a goal I'd have set things up differently for him from the beginning.
2. How does he feel about gawains complexities? And being... makes hand motions. how he is toward Kadoc? How does he feel about gareth as a whole?
HE IS STILL FIGURING GAWAIN OUT . . . lord. Kadoc is pretty good at reading people in some ways but he's pretty blind in others, and a lot of his blindness comes from him assuming the worst of himself and projecting that onto other people in spite of the character traits he should actually be picking up on. This is definitely an issue with Gawain, because Kadoc's brain doesn't quite know what to do with someone who both completely defies his tendency to assume everyone thinks the worst of him (like Gawain BUSTING OUT IN RAGE THAT KADOC IS A STRONG PERSON lol) and yet also in turns plays into it (not trusting Kadoc not to suck Gareth into a black hole of Issues and dressing him down hardcore over it in public). Kadoc is used to hot-and-cold from Beryl, but he is used to Beryl and somewhat understands him and it's a very different flavor from how earnest Gawain is about everything he says, whether it's positive or negative. It is just really hard to project onto Gawain, which makes him hard for Kadoc to wrap his head around lol. He is working on how to handle complexity that doesn't have an element of subterfuge to it. You mean people don't have layers just so they can hide the one they're later going to stab you with?!
RE: GARETH: it is complicated lol. He likes her, but he isn't any further along the path of figuring out exactly how he'd qualify it, and even if he did wake up tomorrow and decide it was romantic that wouldn't be nearly enough for him to act upon. He has a lot of shit to work out and he knows she does too—like, he knows this even more now after his conversation with Gawain lol. He is definitely not going to leap into a relationship with her now when he's not remotely convinced he's not just going to do exactly what Gawain fears and drag her into being an accessory to prop up his own mental health. Can he even support someone who has all the baggage she does? He doesn't know!
In that way, their being roommates is a good way to test out just platonically whether each of them can even fucking handle each other at their worst, but more needs to actually happen to build Kadoc's confidence in that in both directions; at the moment it's not being tested. They're just having a good time, and he's not sure yet how he feels about that. It's very unreal lol. It's a big positive in his life, but he has not yet worked through the reality of it or sorted through where he wants it to go, if anywhere. And god knows he has no idea where Gareth wants it to go, and currently isn't even certain if she's decided she was never attracted to him after the near-kiss incident or what. They haven't discussed it yet! How do you even bring that up! Shit's hard!
But it is really nice having a steady friendly domestic presence, and it's nice having support too, even if right now he's very afraid to lean too hard on any support she could give. Gareth! Deserves! Better!
LOOKS AT THIS TEXT . . . brb I'll come back for Anastasia and return question. mops brow
PART 2
IT WOULD BE SUPER COMPLICATED FOR HIM . . . I'm going to assume this means Lostbelt Anastasia and from his same post-LB1 canonpoint, just for ease of answering, even though different canonpoints and LB vs PHH Anya would fuck him up in different ways lol. Uh the first thing he'd do would be to cry a lot obviously but that's not the answer we're getting at here
In a way Anastasia has the opposite issue from Gareth with Kadoc in that Kadoc literally doesn't know how to coexist with her in like . . . a normal way. They never got to do that! Their entire relationship happened in Russia in the middle of this deeply stressful situation where tensions were high and they had a firm goal to be constantly driving towards. He has never, like, taken a walk in the park with Anastasia, lol. And there is a part of him that, when he lets himself think back on it now, realizes what a huge gap that is in his knowledge of her as a person and his grasp on their relationship. He knows he had feelings for her, and he knows she had feelings for him too (* this would be subject to change based on any potential Anastasia player's preferences lol, but right now I play with the side manga chapters as being canon and in one of those she kisses him; I would happily retcon this according to the other player though). But would they even like each other, in a normal situation? Kadoc thinks they would, but he can never know unless one actually does app in. That ship has sailed otherwise.
So basically after all the crying and reunion and figuring out the canonpoint situation and getting a bead on how Anastasia even feels about anything . . . mostly he would just want to try getting to know her. Kadoc really regrets that there's so much they didn't get to share or learn about one another as people, even though at the same time, that reality has the potential to be less fulfilling than his fantasies of it. In that way he's a bit afraid of it, but he wouldn't permanently let that stop him. He just might be anxious and cagey for a while. And then really, whatever happened would happen from there depending on how things developed and the chemistry they finally got to discover outside the context of the Lostbelt.
OKAY!
I DON'T KNOW SHIT ABOUT GENSHIN . . . tell me what canonmate Mona misses the most in Avalon and about that relationship!
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your introspection on kadoc from every corner of fates media we got of him IS SO DELICIOUS AND REFRESHING I REALLY FEEL LIKE IM GETTING THE AUTHETNIC KADOC EXPERIENCE WRITING WITH YOU ITS SO LIBERATING AND EXCITING!
im excited for the hilarity of gawain & kadocs relationship, esp since gawain thinks kadoc is very capable and it frustrates him that the end result of all of this. he doesnt always talk but when he talks - he has a mouth. a lot of his harshness is like that tough dad/brother love tbh? Wanting someone to change - its the same with gareth. like i write him very masculine but very much an empath. he just 1. acknowledges he is not the right person to be having deep conversations with a lot the time. 2. Very self assured and feels everyone should be as self assured of them self as him. But he acknowledges getting there is hard - and acknowledges no one person can relay on another to get to that point.
so him being a bitch to kadoc is actually how i interrupt a lot of his relationship with mordred typically are. since mordred is self instilled he needs to be a traitor - and he needs to be king. as opposed to finding who he should be individually. and gawain outright HATES traitors. its like his anti fetish. idek the fucking word.
he hates traitors but then mordreds line and the fate alapaca event showed u gawain being really cute with mordred.
also its canon that the round table?? fight regularly like that? so their conversation was so normal to gawain hes already over it.
SIGHH i am down for reading kadoc and Anastasia roleplay when the time comes. it'll be like my newspaper.
tell me what canonmate Mona misses the most in Avalon and about that relationship!
omg u didnt have to ask anythindjgfkgsdf. I REALLLLLLYYLYLYL want Albedo. Sometimes i get sad because i dont think people realize how deeply woven their stories are? Klee, Albedo, and Mona have 3 teachers that know each other. 2 of their teachers sent both their students to Mondstat to learn.
3 of their teachers are pegged as the most powerful sorceresses of teyvat. are shrouded in mysteries, and continue to have content dropped sprinkled around all three of them. either constantly tying to their stories, or something bigger going on.
regardless of that, and being excited.
Mona & Albedo have a lot of story parallels and study two sciences that are interjected into one another. Bc astrology & alchemy go hand in hand! Albedo who is seen to not like having conversations with people, tolerates Monas companionship. Feeds her. etc.
I really want Mona to have Albedo to fall back on with Avalon so she can talk about all the different science/magic/etc. I can imagine the two of them finding people to obsessively study over, and break them down, and be annoyingly scientific. they would be the two at a party that start breaking down the laws of magic, and its a fucking party. and people are like 'yall ruining the mood please.'
i lOOOVE magic, and i love breaking down the lore with magic. Avalon is such a neat sandbox and the way they let you try to manipulate stuff. through your individual creativity is amazing. and i feel like with an albedo there would be tons of cool creative exploration to be had there! Between the two running around trying to understand avalons world of magic
but yeah id love an albedo!!!
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